A big shout out to Alaska Governor Sarah Palin for teaching us "city-folk" what dead fish do and don't do, when offering "...only dead fish go with the flow".
Here are some other things dead fish don't do.
Recognizing that their April 15th annual event to protest paying taxes, The Tea Party Crowd decided this year they would also take over July 4th for protesting.
Despite crappy turnouts locally and nationwide, the national organizers (who are GOP staffers of course), have decided to insert their protests into other events.
Columbus Day
Connection: "The brave men of the Nina, Pinta and Santa Maria did not sail across the ocean to be taxed!"
Halloween
Connection: "Our government is only pretending to be capitalist, while under the mask it's really KARL MARX!!!! AHHHHHHHH!"
National Secretary Day
Connection: "Secretaries are always the one that have to make the tea, but never get to drink it. And they also have to pay taxes!"
Many tea party enthusiasts also wanted to hold rallies on Christmas and Thanksgiving, but their mom's (whom they live with) wouldn't let them.
I'm scared.
If you ask me, spooky Sister Sarah is going to come and get 
me, like she is doing to a Anchorage blogger who inferred recently that Palin was under investigation by the FBI.
Obviously she got a taste for blood in that little anti-Letterman stunt, and now she's coming for the rest of us. Bloggers, comedians and even bums on bar stools like me.
And if you recall, I said a lot of things about Sister Sarah. Oh brother.
While in office, she was too busy defending herself from lawsuits and inquiries, spending nearly $500,000 so far. But as a very well-paid "consultant" and public speaker, she'll have plenty of time and money to mop up punks like me, before she jumps full in for her 2012 Presidential Bid.
So you'll hear no jokes about Palin from me on this site, ever again.
Well, maybe until tomorrow anyway.
I've been clear on this issue before. Me and my "long time local" friends down at the Dive Bar do not approve of the "famed" Reno Renaissance of late.
With the opening of Artown this week, my beloved (and former shithole) downtown Reno is being turned into some kind of music and arts cultural mecca.
Nobody asked me.
I liked the way it was before: drug dealers, trash and dilapidated rundown casinos and slimy bars.
Now we have people with money walking around downtown, and apparently spending it.
What would Dino say?
Looks like I may have to move. I wonder if Fremont Street in Vegas is still as bad as it used to be?
Thankfully, it's become very easy to tell the political ideology of the person you're speaking to, by the words they use. In fact some words appear to have been completely "Owned" by one party or the other.
Here's a handy Zeke cheat sheet for you:
Republican Words
Freedom
Patriot
God Bless _________
Tea Party
"Bring to justice"
Tierney
Liberal
Reagan Conservative
"Government run medicine"
Minorities
President George W. Bush
Democrat Words
Fair
Transparency
"My Voice"
Social Justice
Equity
Progressive
Neocon
"Single-payer medicine"
"People of color"
Dub-ya
Last weekend when I was stuck in the Atlanta airport (don't ask), I noticed that on twitter many Republicans were using the hashtag #TCOT to mark their tweets. I haven't been able to figure out what this secret code acronym means, but here are some guesses:
...Google Search thinks your middle name is "hypocrite"
...never served in the military, but think that driving your Hummer will get you respect from those who did.
...think "hunches" are more important than facts.
...think "global warming" is a Jack-in-the-Box chicken wing promotion.
...say "going hiking" when really mean "committing adultery".
..,show your great love for the outdoors by killing everything in it.
...have read the Bible, but still think Jesus wanted us to screw our neighbors over to get rich.
...think the Glenn Beck show is anything but a sitcom about a sociopath who refuses to take his meds.
...you cry on camera about things you did.
...think teachers are overpaid, but CEOs deserve gold-plated Gulf Stream jets.
...have never been to a public library, but know where every feed store is in town.
...know what NASCAR stands for, but no idea what NASA does.
...are a year and a half away from being voted out of office in Nevada.
Hey, I'm not trying to encourage them to do it, but from a bar stool I am sitting on, it doesn't seem like the GOP has a lot of choices at this point.
With yet another senior level Republican Governor looking like (and being) a hypocritical misogynist to his base, the very standards they've defined themselves with over the years have come back to bite the Family Values Party on the arse. Big time.
So maybe this is the chance for the break. Start a whole new party.
A Fiscal Conservative Party.
A Party that embraces fiscally conservative ideas, and doesn't address social issues at all. Check the religion and social mores at the door, so to speak.
And I know Libertarians pretend that description fits their mold, but every libertarian I know only pretends to be that way because they have a gay sister, take large amounts of drugs or just like "being unique". In reality, libertarians are just Republicans who want to seem more like bikers then bankers.
Of course, when Al Franken gets installed in the Senate any second now, the whole "threatening Republican filibuster program" will turn to dust, and the Republican Party will officially be completely chased into the wilderness for two more years minimum.
During that time I suspect the "Family Values" litmus test program will get thrown out in the trash like the political careers of Vitter, Gibbons, Craig, Ensign and Sanders.
How embarrassing.
