Jon Stewart : Betsy McCaughey Extended Interview

PART 1

The Daily Show With Jon Stewart	Mon - Thurs 11p / 10c
Exclusive - Betsy McCaughey Extended Interview Pt. 1
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Daily Show Full Episodes Political Humor Healthcare Protests

PART 2

The Daily Show With Jon Stewart	Mon - Thurs 11p / 10c
Exclusive - Betsy McCaughey Extended Interview Pt. 2
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Daily Show Full Episodes Political Humor Healthcare Protests

Crazy Wingnut's Buses To Arrive Tomorrow in Reno

Oh, you got to love' em!

America's newest terrorist splinter cell "The Travelin' Tea Baggers", will be arriving in Reno tomorrow to protest the 70%+ of Americans who want health care reform.

Of course, the real trick of their performance will be to convince the local media to:

1. Cover the protest at all
2. Convince the media they are a "Grassroots Organization"
3. Find a local wingnut to be "a spokesman" to stand in front of the out-of-towners
4. Keep any pro-healthcare reform protesters away from the media

Although I suspect the Reno Gazette won't fall for the fake local "spontaneous" protest the Tea Baggers will be attempting to conjure, I suspect most of our lovely television stations will not bother or attempt to figure out the true nature of the event: a corporate paid live action ad against healthcare reform.

After all, one of their biggest advertisers on television are drug companies, hospitals and health insurance companies. Why would they bite the hand that pays them, when it will be so easy just to "go along with it" and report their bullshit press release verbatim?

Screw Blackwater™: Beware of the "Health Media Industrial Complex"!

What's With All The Guns, Lately?

The various news sources have been reporting endlessly for the past two weeks about people bringing guns to town hall meetings. And, predictably, there is a battle cry from the anti-gun crowd about this phenomenon.

But why are they bringing their guns in the first place?

I ain't no psychologist, but I think there might be a couple noncomplex answers.

Make Them Feel Powerful, When They Are Powerless
Although the vast majority of gun owning Americans are not Tea Party Birther Neocons, the group that showing up carrying guns at town halls are. Since neither the Congress nor the White House seems very interested in talking to them, the gun toters are powerless to stop nearly all legislation. To counteract, they strap on .357 and show the world how tough, abet misguided, they are.

To Recreate Gun Control As a Wedge Issue
In case you've missed it, the NRA has been on the offense relating to gun control issues as late. They've tried their very best to confuse the American public about the White House's intent to create new gun control laws. Even when Obama praised the Supreme Court's decision to lift the handgun ban in DC, their diatribe about "what is coming down the pike" was deafening. In fact due to their excessive and fabricated fear campaign, one of the strongest industries in the first half of this year was the gun industry. Gun shops were nearly overrun this spring with "gun enthusiasts" purchasing multiple firearms before the NRA created "ban" went into effect. It was "The Great Gun Rush of 2009".

And of course, the NRA's memberships went through the roof as they maintain that their legal defense fund is often the only thing that keeps the Liberals from taking their guns away. Of course, Obama has maintained consistently that gun laws are State level issues.

So basically the Town Hall Gun Guys WANT people to get all fired up. They WANT guns to be an issue in 2010, because it has always worked in the past.

But the question is. will Obama fall for it? Will you?

Well, will ya, PUNK?!

Gibbens August To Do List

Neo-Digital Neo-Cons

There has been some discussion about the recent upgrade to the digital world by the Republican party and its operatives. Since last November's election, the GOP have been all over the Internet, creating new blogs, advertising online and using social networking sites such as Twitter and Facebook to get their wingnut views across. Some feel this technological expansion is working and some feel it's not.

But here's the funny part. (Move in close, I don't want them to hear!)
Obama did not win a landslide victory last year because of the Internet. I know what you've heard, but it's bullshit. Consider this; Every candidate had large digital presences. Including McCain, Clinton and hell, even Fred Thompson! Obama's was no better.

Now having said that, understand that Obama's base was much better educated and much younger then any of the other candidates from either party. And in so, the digital effort may have been more exploited by his more technically savvy base, it's kind of dumb to think that his victory was due to it.

So the recent GOP effort to rganize on Twitter and Facebook is kind of funny to me. It's sort of like thinking that those nerds back in high school were smarter than you because they had pocket protectors and scientific calculators.

Obama won the presidency because he is a better candidate. He is smarter, has more charisma, speaks better and worked harder/smarter than any other candidate.

However, if the Republican Party thinks that instead of finding/grooming great candidates is less important then coming up with cool twitter hash tags like #TCOT to rant on, I'm sure as hell not going to stop them.

But it is kind of funny.

Update: Protesters Still Suck

I got a lot of e-mail last summer complaining about a piece I wrote about what a stupid waste of time protesting candidates was.

I was right then, and I am right now.

And for once, the crazy selfish neocons are correct in pointing out that there "town hall crashing" events are no different then protesters who showed up to to boo John McCain and Sarah Palin. No difference at all.

But, it does show us one thing; both sides are capable of being equally annoying, and unproductive in finding solutions for complicated problems.

Most Democrats I know down at the Dive Bar, are complaining very loudly these days about the "terrorists/mobs" that are destroying the town hall meetings this summer. Having been the minority party for so long, the Democrats have never needed to impose the draconian measures of the Bush/Cheney administration era speeches/townhalls including having only invited "loyal Bushies" in the crowd, dress code cops and prewritten and approved questions.

Well guess what? The Democrats have no choice. They will need to employ the same ridiculous smoke and mirrors tricks as the GOP or stop making public appearances.

My not so private opinion is that everyone shut the hell up and let our leaders speak to us. An occasional boo or yay will suffice. Shouting down your elected official will not change their policy; go ask the Iraqi people if you don't believe me: the ones that haven't been blown up I mean.

Repeat after me: "Hell no! We Won't Pro-test!"

Bigfoot Spotted Standing Next to Moderate Republican

© FauxNews August 21, 2009
West Redneck Creek, Missouri - The remarkably elusive creature Bigfoot, was spotted today standing alongside of state Route 23 in rural Missouri. Even more remarkably, he was allegedly standing next to the equally elusive moderate Republican, a creature that has not been seen in over 25 years in United States.

When asked about the moderate Republican, docile, woodland creature Bigfoot said "You know, I'm not really sure what I saw. It was so fast. It may have been a moderate Republican standing there, but I really don't believe in them. I mean if they really existed, wouldn't we have found some physical evidence by now?"

MHP Commander Billy Bob Coletrain reported during a hastily constructed press conference that although droppings were recovered at the site, there is no proof that this creature wasn't simply an extremely drunk, homophobic Blue Dog Democrat. Coletrain said "We have these sightings occasionally, we usually write it off as swamp gas reflecting off of Venus or a weather balloon. Even an uneducated, semiliterate six toed, Good Ole Boy like me knows there ain't no such thing as moderate Republicans. Just like "Clean Coal Technology" and "safe nuclear power". It just don't exist."

3 Ways to Keep Crazy Wingnuts Out Of Your Town Hall Meetings

So you're a Democratic Congressman. And you want to have a town hall meeting to discuss health care, your district's new federal highway plan or maybe just shoot the bull with your constituents.

But you're afraid of those scary, and probably crazy anti-tax town hall crasher types that are being bused around the country by the Republican Party.

What can you do?

Here's three quick tips:

Host a Town Hall/Fahrenheit 9/11 Screening
Start the meeting off as a typical Town Hall. Every time the wing nuts start chanting or yelling at you about whatever they were told/paid to yell at you about, turn off the lights and turn on the projector showing the infamous Michael Moore documentary Fahrenheit 9/11. When the mob settles down, start the town hall back up again. Repeat as needed.

Big Black Guy Technique
Have a third-party hire about 15 big black scary looking guys to man the doors, sign in area and microphone. All of the antitax Town Hall Crashers, without exception, are old white people. Old white people are scared shitless of scary black men. Make sure your hired scary big black guys wear funky looking sunglasses, have shaved heads, never smile and stand uncomfortably close to the aforementioned old white people.

Stop Having Town Hall Meetings
Want to completely avoid the embarrassing scenario of being put on Fox News? Don't have a town hall meeting at all. They're stupid, only attended by the most hard-core followers from either side and a little more than a created event for you to make a speech. You'd be better off making a speech and sticking it on YouTube anyway: more people will see it, and the kids will think you're hip.

Colbert: Paying for Healthcare

Jon Stewart: William Jefferson Airplane

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Wingnut Quiz

Ever wonder if you were a wingnut?

Take this handy quiz and find out!

Do you...

• Believe the moon landing was a fake (100% certainty Of Being a Wingnut)
• Believe Obama is Kenyan (95% certainty)
• Believe anything Glenn Beck says (90% certainty)
• Believe global warming is a conspiracy (89% certainty)
  
• Believe newspapers will make a comeback (88% certainty)
  
• Believe Townhall Crashers are a natural grassroots movement (85% certainty)
• Believe Bush screwed up Katrina aid on purpose (75% certainty)
• Believe America Has the Best Health Care in the World (65% certainty)
• Believe gun control will lower crime (55% certainty)
• Believe overturning all gun control laws will lower crime (55% certainty)
• Believe everyone is racist (50% certainty)
• Believe no one is racist (50% certainty)
• Believe Harry Reid is behind everything that happens in Nevada (45% certainty)
  
• Believe flying saucers are real (45% certainty)

• Believe fluoride in the drinking water is bad (40% certainty)
• Believe Zeke (5% certainty)
  

Latinos Are Secret Conservatives, People

Yeah, yeah, yeah. So Sotomayor got confirmed yesterday.

Big damn deal.

No, I'm not about to spout racist GOP style crap, I'm just pointing out that Obama and the Senate Democrats have just added a sleeper cell conservative to the Supreme Court.

"Oh Zeke, don't be ridiculous" you say. "Latinos are all Democrats, don't you know?"

Actually, I do know. They're not.

Latinos are vastly Catholic, and Catholics are increasingly becoming Republicans over the abortion Wedge issue.

Many Central and South American countries have GOP style leaders, who routinely break the law, use their power for their own good and use a heavy-handed army driven national security campaign to quell "democracy". Latinos are familiar with the style of government, and have hardly ever risen up to stop it.

Latinos are family oriented. Even if the GOP in reality isn't, they sell their "family values" very well and very loudly. Latino voters will hear it, and believe it.

Latinos, when compared to other ethnic groups like African-Americans, are much more "conforming" in culture. Clothing, cultural traditions and even the Spanish language point to a more conservative tendency: an almost perfect fit for the GOP's "Culture Warrior" campaign.

So put that champagne glass down, you knuckleheads. You may have just inadvertently added a conservative to the Supreme Court.

Oops.

And before you accuse old Zeke of "over generalizing" or sterotyping, take a look in the mirror. Assuming that all Latinos are ideologically Liberials or Democrats is equally ridiculous. The only reason Latinos voted for Obama last year, was that McCain wanted to deport their grandparents. The GOP will take back 50% minimum of Latinos the day they stop pushing the Immigration Invasion Fear Campaign. Over time it will turn to 60-70%.

That is, if the GOP even exists after the 2010 election.

Heller Gets to Do Something. Bout time.

Some of the guys down at the bar, are taking bets on what Congressman Dean "Boss Mormon" Heller will do next.

He does have a couple choices to make, after all.

He is certainly the local front runner to take on Senate majority leader Harry Reid next year, but also could possibly jump in against our idiotic governor Jim "Sucky" Gibbons in a primary battle. A third possibility is that he may be holding out to see if John "Family Guy" Ensign bails, so that he could be appointed to the Senate.

Reporters are supposedly chasing Heller down the street and badgering him online and off-line, on the record and off the record to no avail.

And I have long ago stopped trying to predict the actions of crazy wing nuts like him.

I do suspect, however, that Heller would rather have a non-term limited senatorial position, then be governor of the trending blue, economy- ravaged Tourist oriented tiny state like Nevada.

So I bet we hear nothing from Heller, until after the congressional recess this month, and he's had a chance to huddle up with "the Boys" back in the Silver State.

George Carlin - Saving the Planet