Hey Dennis.Add this cartoon to the Impeachment Articles

Zeke for Mayor: The Basics

Just to remind you, since Judge Polaha got rid of the residency requirement by ruling that Trent Baldwin's "reasonable effort" was good enough to run in a District he didn't live in, Zeke is gonna run for Mayor of Ely! What the hell.

Alright, First things first. To get started on my bid for Mayor in Ely, I gotta knock out the basics.

Which Party should I pick? Hmmm.

Let's see: Ely Nevada is a VERY Conservative place.

• Democrat is out. Forget it. No Freaking way.
• Since I actually want to have a chance, I can't be a Libertarian or Green Party. This ain't Alaska or Vermont.
• Republican is the Conventional Wisdom choice, but this IS a year of "Change" and the sitting Mayor IS a Republican. AND in a recent poll, 78% of Americans "Don't Identify themselves as Republicans anymore", so I think Republican may be on the outs. Even in Ely.
• Yeah I am going "Non-Partisan"! That way I can say what ever the hell I want and avoid getting blamed for the current Welfare State or Facist State, as applicible. Non-Partisans can remain above the fray. Sounds like a easy way to win.

OK, well I am glad that is solved.

Now what, other than KILLIN' ALL THE FREAKIN' CHEAT GRASS(Like Mike Nance), should my platforms be? Hmmmmm. I'll get back to ya on that. Need to do a little more research on what Ely voters want to hear stand for.

NV GOP Convention: 0 for 2

Oh this is CLASSIC!
Today the Ron Paul Wing of the Nevada Republican Party, tried to restart the failed April GOP Convention. To make it even "sort of legal" they need to get a certain percent of the Delegates to reconvene in Reno at the Grand Sierra. A Quorum.

Well, they didn't get enough. Not even close. Hundred short.

So what did they do?

• Go home?
• Head to the Craps tables?
• Go to the pool and have Appletini?

Hell no! They changed the freaking rules, LOWERED the Required Quorum number, and carried on as if nothing was amiss!

Zeke LOVES it! BRAVO!

If anyone thought that Ron Paul supporters were ANY DIFFERENT then yer basic garden variety Corrupt Republicans, here is yer answer. I am a bit sad at this: I thought the Ron Paul Supporters were interested in Truth, Justice and the American Way? I guess not. They are "that friend" you have that cheats at golf every weekend.

"How'd ya shoot Biff?" says Zeke.
"Another 62 for me." says a grinning Biff.
"Hey, how'd the Convention go yesterday?" asks Zeke.
"No Problems at all. Smooth as glass. We didn't cheat a bit. Really." explains Biff.
Zeke smiles knowingly.

The best part is that the Reno conventioneers will CLAIM that their delegates are somehow legit, over the 2nd round of Illegal ones that will be elected by the McCain faction on July 26th in Vegas.

There is gonna be a FIGHT! Hopefully on the floor for the freaking whole world to see how dumb Nevadans are!
Hey wait a minute. I don't like the sound of THAT.

Hmmm.

As much as Zeke would LOVE to see Bob "Insider" Beers and Mike "Mr I Break the Rules" Weber THROW DOWN on the floor of the GOP National Convention, maybe nobody from Nevada should go to Minnesota after all. You know, skip it. Go fishing. By that point the Democrats will have had a successful Convention and turned Nevada into a home away from home for Obama.

Yeah. The NV GOP Delegation may wanna just watch from under a rock, instead of pointing out how screwed up the Party is in the State now.

McLame on Yucca Mt:NIMBY Problem

So does NIMBY mean "Not In McCain's Back Yard"?
How does he expect to win ANY votes in Vegas?
COME TO ZEKES SAYS SO TO SEE John "I Hate Nevada" McCain explain why HIS State is better than OUR State.

Dinner time! Thanks W and McLame!

Nevada Republican Party Convention Metaphor

Today, the GOP of Nevada will try to "Restart" their Failed Convention from April.
Here is a Visual Projection as to how THAT will go.
COME TO ZEKE SAYS SO to see Video

Ron Paul Hates Nevada? What?

So by supporting online gambling, Ron Paul is basically voting to screw Nevada?
Now Nevada already can't have Income Tax, and Dean Heller and McCain want to eliminate gas taxes in the State and Nationally. Sharon Angle and others want to eliminate Property taxes.
Most of the AD32 Candidates want to eliminate the Nevada Business tax and Estate Tax. Ensign and Gibbons want to continue to let out-of-country Mining Companies operate in Nevada without paying ANY royalties or taxes.

And every Republican wants to dump Capital Gains taxes.

Um. Anyone wanna go camping? For the rest of your life? Without infrastructure we are not going to have a Civilization. Without taxes, there ain't gonna be infrastructue.

Ya know Everybody Hates Taxes. But if everyone gives a little, we can make this a nice place to live.
COME TO ZEKE SAYS SO TO SEE RON PAUL EXPLAIN HIMSELF

How to Spot a Political Hack

Listen for these words. Someone that uses 3 of them within 5 minutes is a Offical Political Hack. Which is Bad, right?
Most people have no idea what they mean. Which is Good.

• Wonk
• Hoover Republican
• Caucus (see previous Post)
• Hubris
• Quorum
• Grassroots
• Dumpers/Jumpers
• Blogosphere
• Ward Money
• Danglers
• My Voice, Your Voice, Their Voice, the Dog's Voice
• Metrics
• Friday Turn
• Fly Over Country
• Purple States
• Seven Five Friend
• Hit Piece

Zeke bets that most Bloggers would LIKE to be called a "Hack". And if not, you can always vote for me in the poll in the right sidebar.

Come on Dad! You're Embarrassing Zeke!

Come to ZEKE SAYS SO to see this Strange Video

Guns, the Supreme Court and Nevada Politics

Whereas there has been a TON of teeth gnashing about today's Supreme Court Decision of the D.C. hand gun ban, Zeke ain't seen ANYTHING about it around here.

And that is probably because it is a touchy subject in Nevada. A 600 Pound Baldwin Gorilla.

There are many people on both sides of the issue, and lots more that have no real (vocal anyway) opinion. As I said in a previous WEBBY Wining Post, the Democrats could pick up many Republican voters by taking away Protecting "Gun Rights from the Liberals" as a GOP Platform. But the Demsocrats ain't (Yet) listening to me.

Consider this: Dean "Pass the Ammo" Heller sent out an email 1st thing this morning basically bragging that he is one of 300 Congressmen who signed a gun rights letter to the Court...blah blah blah.

But hold on Deaniac! Your opponent, Jill Derby is ALSO Pro Gun-Rights and is a member of the Nevada Outdoor Democrats [link], which is a group that actively opposes any new gun laws. She may be even more PRO GUN than Heller; but Heller sends out emails reminding everybody about his great "Sportsman Cred". Right. I got $5 that "Ranch Raised" Derby is better shot than him any day of the week and twice on Sunday.

Anyway, what does the Supreme Court decision mean to us Nevadans?
Nothing, other than an overdose of Heller style spinning.

Nevada has some of the most LIBERAL gun laws in the country. There really is no such thing as a "gun permit" here, and you can get a CCW(Concealed Weapon Permit), with a day long training session for less then $150. Consider that in New York City, a Gun Permit ALONE costs $300+ a year and to get a CCW you need to be Donald Trump, Howard Stern, or "Know somebody" at the NYPD. Now THAT is NOT very Liberal.

Now the McCain/Obama deal. McCain is openly Pro-Gun, and Obama doesn't say much about it. However, BO might as well be Anti-Gun because many of the Republicans and Non-Partisans that he is trying to "Convert" think he is.
Perception is reality.

Most Obama people wouldn't switch if he announced "neutrality" or even a "Pro-Gun" stance, but many Obama Leaning Republicans will NEVER vote for Obama if he goes anti-gun. Never never never.

Every other candidate I can find boils down like this:

Republican:"The 2nd Amendment is the most important Amendment..."

Democrat:[sound of wind blowing through Cheat Grass]

You Nevada Democratic candidates should LISTEN TO ZEKE. Make a stand. Not saying anything IS making a decision. You have nothing to lose but GOP and Non-Partisan Votes.

Time to Kick Lieberman?

Come to ZEKE SAYS SO to see Video

Kick Lieberman? Well Zeke sure would. "Go to Iran"?

Why? To buy a rug?

HERE is the site if ya wanna sign the Petition.

Top 10 List of Recent Political Knuckleheadery

Man we are only half way through 2008, and we have had some incredibly bad performances lately. Weighted for Nevada, here's where they stand:

10. Bill Clinton
Destroyed his credibility with Millions of Americans. And did more damage today with a wimpy Obama endorsement!

9. Rudy Giuliana
Best description is "He was very popular till people started voting". Worst flame out ever.

8. Al Gore
Could have been a "King/Queen Maker" but instead sat and waited...

7. Bob Beers
Went from being a "Maverick" Hero to Many GOPers in NV to being one of the "Insider" gang that shut down the Republican Convention to stop the Ron Paulites. All his Cred is GONE.

6. John McCain
Flip flops on Immigration, Torture, Bush Tax Cuts and many others is a real damn shame for this once honorable man and war hero. It is why he is 15 points back and gonna lose both Nevada and the whole election, my friend.

5. Jim Gibbons
Has been acting normal(for him) and that is good enough to be on this list.

4. Shelley Berkley
She Voted FOR a Bill to give retroactive immunity to the Telcoms for Spying on US? Oh your on the list. Weak.

3. Larry Craig
Biggest Hypocrite in the Congress. And that is saying ALOT. And he STILL wants to run? WOW.

2. The DNC's Rules Committee
For turning a simple "Open and Close" decision into a 3 ring Circus. No. Not ALL Press is Good Press Idiots.

1. George W Bush
For what he has yet to do. It will need to be really stupid to surpass the other Stupid stuff he has already done. But we can always count on W. He hasn't even attacked Iran yet.

3 Days til Nothing Happens Again in Reno

CLICK PLAY BUTTON TO SEE STRANGE VIDEO

On Saturday the Busted and Smashed Nevada Republican Party will try, with the Ron Paul Army running the show, to Re-do their Convention.

Will they get enough people? Zeke says No, but what the hell do I know?

Pointless Nevada Poll: Bill or Keith?

The People have Spoken and Zeke has Listened: A new Pointless Poll! I will be a GREAT Mayor!


Recently Zeke has been hearing from many "Bill O'Reilly Haters" that they think Keith Olbermann may, in fact, be a bigger Jerk after his Hill bashing program of late.


Zeke doesn't really care because Zeke is a Big Jerk. But ya knew that. Anyway take the poll and let's see what the smoke filled people of Reno think.

WELCOME TO FIRE SEASON IN RENO

Zeke for Mayor? Of Ely!

What fantastic news! On Monday Judge Polaha ruled in the Trent Baldwin AD30 hearing, as I understand it, that actually living in a District isn't as important as "making a reasonable effort" to register. Which is AWESOME!

This lets ZEKE fulfill a lifelong goal! BECOME THE MAYOR OF A SMALL TOWN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE! Boss Zeke, they'll be calling me!

Now, I know what yer thinking, "But Zeke you don't live in White Pine County".

Details details.

But here's the beauty of it: I don't have to! All I need to do is show that I made a "reasonable effort" to move there and I am in like Flynn!

Ya see, Zeke's car broke down in Ely a couple years back and I told a bunch of people (mainly bartenders) that "I am a legal resident of [explitive deleted] Ely now", as I was stuck there for what sure SEEMED like 30 days (which is the residency requirement).

And also I PLAN on moving there. Some day. Like Trent plans to move to Sun Valley.

SO...ZEKE FOR MAYOR of ELY!

Nevada's most mispronounced City!

Zeke and the Staff are working on my Campaign platforms: more on that later. Oh this is gonna be fun!

Trent Baldwin Walks. And Runs!

Zeke was wrong TWICE about Trent "I am abandoning my Wife and Kids" Baldwin's hearing yesterday.

First Zeke thought that NONE of the blogs, Local Papers or TV would cover this hearing that challenged Baldwin's eligibility to run for Nevada Assembly. Wow. The RGJ political blog posted more about this case, than they did for the freaking Caucus in January! Many other blogs got in on the fun and even a Las Vegas TV Station, I heard, did a story on the hearing. Wow. I thought all we were gonna hear about today was gas prices and public campaign financing blah blah blah. Is it possible that SOMEBODY out there is reading ZEKE SAYS SO? Well YOU are, aren't ya?

Zeke other screwup was that I thought the local "Conspiracy Theorists" were way off base when they discounted Zeke's suggested that Baldwin might actually GET IN TROUBLE for his blatant thumbing his nose at the Spirit and Letter of the Law. I NEVER thought Good Old Judge Jerry Polaha would not see this for what it is: bull crap.

I guess if election laws are STILL not gonna be followed, this cycle we might as well stop voting right? What's the point. Debbie Smith pointed out that this Precedent is gonna create all kinds of problems in the future, and Zeke Agrees. Damn Activist Judges!

And that is why I am now announcing I am running for Mayor of Ely! Why not? Judge Jerry says, as I understand it, that living in the District" is "kinda" optional.

VOTE ZEKE! NO NEW TAXES! (That's what ya say out there, right?) Does Ely even HAVE a mayor? I know they got a big ass copper mine. Bet that'll pay a good Mayoral Salary.

Anyway, Trent "Carpetbagger" Baldwin MUST know he dodged the bullet on this one. The funniest part about the hearing is that Trent promised that he intended to move to AD30 "soon". Riiiiiiiight. Just like Zeke is moving to Ely.

Naw, TB ain't gonna move nothing. Not that he even thinks he has a chance: his campaign website pulls "Baldwin Hardware Store" ads right now, and with the Debbie Smith machine in place in the District, he doesn't have a chance anyhoo.

Oh yeah, Judge Polaha is up for re-election this fall, but is running unopposed, so you can all just skip the "Let's Vote him Out" routine. We are stuck with him. Yeah Washoe Courts! And you wonder why Reno is so often a Punch Line. This is why. Thanks Jerry.

I'm going back to the bar. This is pretty weak day in Nevada Justice.

Trent Baldwin: Remember THAT Guy?

In case ya forgot, Trent Baldwin is that guy that who, according to Assemblyperson Debbie Smith, filed to run against her in AD30 without actually really living there.

Well, tomorrow Baldwin gets to 'splain his bad self to the Judge right after lunch. What are the chances ANY news outfit covers this story? Well, Zeke will, so don't panic. Reno is Zeke's beat.

HERE IS THE COURT INFO IN CASE YA WANNA GO DOWN AND CHECK IT OUT

Zeke has "heard" from the typical malcontents at the bar, that "The Fix" is in and the DA is not gonna do anything other than taking the Trentster's name off the Ballot. As you may remember, Clark County is throwing similar situation type defendants in jail.

I guess we'll see if "Justice is Blind" in Reno, or if it wears Elephant Lapel pin.

Colbert: Offshore Drilling

3 Unconnected Things

Zeke is Hot. No not like that. I am Hot. It is summer now, and in summer I think less well than usual. Because of the HEAT.

Bottom line: I couldn't think of a clever way to link these 3 things together so too bad:

Alaska
According to recent Polls, Obama is 3% points behind McCain in the USA's biggest and frigidest State. ALASKA. I had to at that twice myself. Although it kinda makes sense; there are vast numbers of people there who have seen both global warming effects AND know what ANWR really is. There are also lots of Military (who probably HATE their being based there) and lots of Inuits, who I guess like Obama. They call him"IT-THA-CHO" which means "That Guy Who May Actually Come Up Here Some Day".

next:
REPUBLICANS SPENDING OUR MONEY
One thing that McCain and Gibbons have in common: they feel the need to needlessly spend our tax money. McCain is currently giving crap to Obama for his forgoing public financing, although it is McCain that is spending OUR tax dollars to Finance HIS campaign to cut OUR tax Dollars. Does that make sence? Nope.
How about this. Jim Gibbons is calling a Special Session of the NV Legislature to figure out how to NOT spend our money. Zeke has a tip. DON'T CALL A SPECIAL SESSION, and do your damn job! Get the other State Officals in the room, who are already on the clock, and FIGURE it out.
If Gibbons is incapable of doing this, maybe he should resign. Or go back to Iraq and "Help out" there. He sure ain't helping here.

CAUCUS
OK, look. The word "caucus" is confusing. Even many of the people that went to the Nevada Caucus STILL have no idea what it means. So when Pundits, Media Idiots and Politicians use "Caucus" to discribe ANY THING other than our little January 19th kegger, they are acting like Smarty Pants who have learned a new word. Like a 3 year old. "I caucused with the Clinton Caucus at the Nevad Caucus yesterday". That is retarded. Use another word, show your creativity. How about "gang" or "cabal" or "mob" or "crew"? There actually was a website in town not too long ago called the "Washoe Democratic Caucus", like ONE guy writting on the Internet makes up a "Caucus" in any definition of the word.
Clearly the word has made it's mark, and it's time for it to step down and reflect on it's Salad Days. Kinda like Reno Mayor Bob Cashell. But that's another post entirely.

Ty Cobb, Jr on the Radio

On today's goofy KUNR radio call in show 2 Assembly people were guests. And Zeke was SHOCKED to the core.
Shelia Leslie did her usual good job discussing her thoughts in a clear and proper manner. As you would expect. She is a grown up.

But then, Anger Boy, AD26's Ty Cobb came on as well. He, much to Zeke's Jaw Dropping Amazement, articulated his views more or less politely and almost with respect to the Host, the callers and to Leslie.

OK. Where is Ty Cobb and who the hell was THAT GUY? It sounded like Ty Cobb, only nicer. Very much UNLIKE what Zeke was used to hearing him act like.

Either somebody did an "Invasion of the Body Snatchers" Pod thing on Cobb, or (Dare I say) he has learned to not be a jackass.

This really is a "Year of Change": Ty Cobb has joined the Human Race.

Also, it is not true that Zeke has recently signed on to host the "Nevada Newsline Show" on KUNR. All Party's agree that Northern Area 51 is NOT READY for that.

Poem: Cindy McCain's Recipe for Family Values

She's much richer than BO or Hill,
Inherited from Daddy's gin mill,
So Cindy McCain,
Says she's not to blame,
It's stealing that's her actual skill
-Zeke

"It T'was Beauty that
Financed the Beast."

Zeke is the Media?

I heard from 2 separate and mostly non crazy people yesterday that campaigns, government and most of the public consider BLOGGERS to be the media.

WHAT?

You mean some guy with a computer can literally sit on a bar stool in a seedy downtown Reno bar, spouting his pie-hole off about nonsense and be considered an equal to somebody who has been through Journalism school and spent years networking with local Fat Cats?

Zeke thinks that is freaking funny, but apparently it's true to some extent. A political operative told me a while back, that blogs are BETTER than the traditional media outlets as they more accurately reflect what "people on the ground" are thinking. There was a story last month that 46% of online Americans read Political Blogs DAILY these days. I also read that yesterday Maryland elected it's 1st Black Woman Congressman BECAUSE solely of the local Bloggers.

WHAT?

What about the smoky backroom deals? Blogs? Is that Progress?

Kinda make sense: if a Party buys off all the Traditional Media in an area, (like in Reno with the RGJ and TV stations), how does the GOP REALLY find out what voters think? I mean, you can't base your whole campaign on what the Bartender at the Country Club thinks. Sorry Dean Heller, it's true buddy.

Granted Zeke KNOWS EVERYTHING and YOU ALL NEED TO LISTEN TO ME, but not every town has a Zeke. Look at Vegas for Christ sake: The Gleaner is Awesome, but they still have Bob "Spazboy" Beers as an assemblyman down there. I don't think Elko or Ely have a living Blogger. How do they expect to have a society without some guy on a barstool telling the City Fathers how dumb they are? [Make yer own Elko joke here]

Well if Zeke is that powerful, I have some demands Damn it:

• Reno needs a Noir Film Festival
• We need many more Hot Kayak chicks to walk around downtown.
• Reno 911 needs to really be shot in Reno.
• Free Beer for Political Bloggers.

oh yeah:

• PAY ME

Washoe Obama People: Take it Easy True Believers

Zeke is a little puzzled by a late breaking movement by the, uh, "more engaged" Obama supporters here in Northern Area 51.

It seems like some of the "Louder Obama" fans are bitching that some local candidates have not made Obama endorsements or put His picture (Yes I capitalized the "H" on purpose) on their web page. Some are complaining that the County Parties also have not turned into Obamacentral as well. Here is a reality check for the Obama True Believers

• Local Candidates are NOT the side show to Obama. Local elections are God Dammed important on their own.
• I can't find ANY local candidates ANYWHERE that are basing their campaigns on being an Obamaboy or girl. It is a BAD idea to DO THAT in Northern Nevada with it's GOP majority,
• Since when did "endorsements" mean anything? Do you REALLY think ANY Democrat running for office in the USA will NOT support Obama? You are confusing Primary stuff with General Election stuff. Endorements are foe the Primary.
• Pissing off volunteers of any County or the State Party is retarded. They are on your side. This includes webmasters and front desk volunteers too. Be nice to your friends, knuckleheads.
• There are REAL election laws about Local Parties and Candidates endorsing candidates before things are "official", and sometimes after as well. Obama ain't Offical until Denver. Yes, it matters.

A smarter Blogger like Myrna or the Desert Beacon, might throw out a sexy Shakespeare quote here, but Zeke will keep it "Street", to wit:

Obama people, your guy won. Now don't get drunk on power. Be humble. The fact is: there are more people in NV that didn't Caucus for Obama, then who did. And Obama didn't win the nomination by acting like a pompus jackass; so don't you start now.

I'm glad we could have this talk.

And by the way, since Zeke hasn't endorsed a Presidential Candidate yet, ya may want to get on my good side. And like John Edwards, I like Jet Ski's, too.

Just a thought.

Poem: It ain't Easy Being Anti-Green

There once was a Congressman named Dean.
Who washed his money in chlorine,
When told it would fade,
He said "That's OK,
I don't like anything Green".
-Zeke

NV GOP:On Fire, Out of Fuel and No Parachutes

Well, Zeke thinks it's kinda funny actually.

The once mighty Nevada Republican Party is in utter disarray. They blew their State Convention in April, and the "Official makeup date on July 26th will be outside of the 90 days allowed under their own Rules. It won't really count, even if they get enough people to get a quorum. [LVRG]

The Ron Paul People's "Alternate Convention" to be held in Reno on June 28th certainly won't be getting enough Delegates to show to allow it to count either. Although it would be kinda cool to see the "Fight Club" win a real battle for once.

What does this mean? In Minneapolis in September THERE WILL NOT BE ANY NEVADA GOP DELEGATES IN THE HALL. None. Zero.

And it is because all of the bull crap of the Nevada Republican Party has caught up to them. Karma is a Bitch, baby. Also a good bit of egotistical and horrible management by the State GOP "Leaders" Zac "What Warrant?" Moyle and Sue "What? Me Worry?" Lowden is part of the free fall. The chickens have come home to roost and they are BIG FAT ANGRY CHICKENS that look like RON PAUL.

AHHHHHHHHH!

Raise the Terror alert to "Red". 'cause THAT is scary!

Poem: A Stranger from a Strange ZonerLand

There was an old man named McCain,
To Nevada he rarely came,
But when he flew in,
He'd raise up his chin,
and scream "FOUR MORE YEARS O' THE SAME!"
-Zeke

Dirty Laundry: Kick'em while they're Down

Look, we all know Jim Gibbons is a huge Idiot and certainly the Worst Governor in the US. He sucked as a Congressmen, too, for those of you who are new to Area 51.

But Jesus Christ on a handcar; is his Divorce a political story? Really?

God knows Zeke can be a bastard, but is Jimbo Texting his backdoor(alleged) girl really an example of "exploiting public funds for personal reasons"? I mean our Governor went to freaking IRAQ last month! Now THAT is a waste of our money. His calling a Special Session of the Legislatue is a WASTE of our money. His hiring a 2nd NHP to protect him is a HUGE WASTE OF MONEY. (Doesn't he have a gun permit anyway?)

Yeah, but his pending divorces details, in general, have nothing to do with Zeke or you. It is just rubbernecking at an accident scene. And gets boring quickly.

On the other hand, Zeke would rather hear about that dude who gambled $2 Million Dollars of Washoe County Water Money. And how the Washoe County Sheriff's Department managed to lose him TWICE while he was under surveillance. And why NOBODY at the Casino said anything while a Middle Manager blew several lifetimes income at the tables.

Where is that story? That one I wanna hear about.

D-I-V-O-R-C-E not so much.

$6/Gallon? Yaaaaa!

I kinda touched on this before, but just to make sure ...

$6/gallon gas is coming, and sooner than you think. And that may be a good thing.

I bet that by Labor Day 2008, we have $6 in Reno. Really. $5 is a gimmie.

There are 2 real reasons for this:
We are powerless to stop it. The price is market driven and unregulated. Demand is very high. Summer is always worse. Heat Waves and Hurricanes galore.

1. The Oil Companies KNOW that the jig will be up soon- W and Dick are leaving town and this is their last chance to grab the money before the election.

See, the REAL reason Bush, Cheney, McCain and Heller are all anti Alternate Energy is that when the oil industry loses it's money/power base when the Democrats start a real Alternate Energy program/infrastructure next year, the GOP will lose a MAJOR campaign funding source. It really is that simple. Dean Heller is just an filthy Dirty Oil Whore.

So the Oilys are milking us for what they can now, before the bottom drops out. Kinda like the Railroad, Whaling, Pet Rock and countless other industries, the Oil Business has a limited lifespan, and it is time to call the family to come and say goodbye to ol' Grampa Oil. The Time is up.

Consider that people Zeke knows, and maybe even YOU have recently:

• Traded in that big clunker for the little car. (without 4WD even! Gasp!)
• Car pooled somewhere
• Bought stuff online instead of at a store
• Turned up the AC or Down the Heat
• Consolidated tasks when running errands.
• Didn't drive so fast. Steady Eddie.
• WALKED somewhere intead of driving!

Doesn't any of that behavior seem WEIRD to you? It seems almost Un-American to "Brag about saving fuel", but I heard a Caller from WINNE-freaking-MUCCA on a radio call in show bragging about BUYING A HYBRID CAR!

The fact is, our behavior is changing. $140/barrel oil means Solar will be cheaper then Carbon based electricity, and BELIEVE ZEKE that the Alt energy people are COUNTING ON $6 gas to be a tipping point in the move to Alts, since greedy Oil People like Dean Heller and Bush refuse to help fund their industry's start up. Like Germany's government did. And Japan's. And Brazil's. et cetera.

Now where's that freaking bus schedule? I gotta go to work.

AD32: Mike Weber's Storytime Fun!

Mike Weber REALLY wants to be the Assemblyman from District 32. And this cat, seems like he has a WHOLE Bunch of supporters, having recently tried in vain to "Save" the State GOP Convention from the actual State GOP Leadership. I know that he has recently "endorsed" the Ron Paul People initiated Reno version of the State Con do-over. Since Weber has tried to beat John Marvel (without success) in the past and now has at least 5 other Republicans to further split the Primary voter up, I'm not sure how he could win, but hey: whatda I know? Weber must have a plan, right? Maybe he has figured out how to get the CHEAT GRASS TO ATTACK ON HIS COMMAND?

And anybody who puts a freaking photo of his Pickup Truck on his campaign web site is Good People. In AD32 that is.

Weber has a couple of other interesting things on his CAMPAIGN WEBPAGE that caught my interest;
including this 'lil nugget:
"After I began discussing a run for the state Assembly with several of my friends, they asked if I had lost my mind." Nice.
Zeke thinks your friends may be trying to drop ya a hint, Mike.

Although, I guess, Weber probably just forgot to finish that thought, his RANDOM THOUGHTS page has been "Under Construction" for like a month and a half. Interesting. Also, why would a political candidate put a "Random Thoughts" page on their site anyway? Is this guy Andy Rooney's long lost Brother? Or is he addicted to MYSPACE.com? Just a Zeke Random Thought.

But Weber's site really hits AD32 GOLD when ya dig into the "SELECTED WRITINGS" section. With "Stories" like "The Welfare Bears of Yosemite", "Just another rainy day in baseball" and "Catching Wild Hogs" and others, ya just KNOW it's gonna be GOOD!

Get some milk and cookies! It's Weber Story time!

The "Welfare poor bears..." is an awesomely offensive "story" that compares ego having, struggling fellow humans, to wild soul-less animals in a way that is even offends Zeke. I am usually the offender. Ask my PO. I bet Mike thinks it's clever. It ain't. Not even close.

The "Another rainy day in baseball..." story does a great job of letting everyone know that not only has Mike never been to a real baseball game, but he thinks that people who run baseball teams (Board of Directors? WHAT?) have never had to deal with a rain out. Mike. THREE WORDS; "Silver Sox Baseball". Learn a little about our national passtime.

The "Catching Wild Hogs..." story is un-understandable. It has something to do with feeding wild pigs and barbed wire and people who request grants for civil projects. (Was this the plot of "The Misfits"? Maybe not)
Either way, I don't get it, but my head still hurts from the baseball story. If YOU get it, please explain it to Zeke. Seriously.

To be fair, Mike covers the usual "NO NEW TAXES", stronger police/sentencing programs that all the other AD32
candidates stand for. Mike certainly tries to show some style on his page and has a pretty good photo album, too. Everyone is smiling in his pictures. They must have just been telling some stories to each other. About Bears and Pigs and Baseball Management Theory. Man, Zeke wishes he lived in that World. Zeke's world is pretty complicated these days. Not alotta Happy Pig Stories being told in Reno in the summer of oh eight.

R-E-S-P-E-C-T

This guy wants Clinton supporters to switch over to vote for him?

Jesus. You GOTTA be kidding.

Obama: Trouble with...?

Have you people been hearing the Genius Punditry lately? Both locally and Nationally, screwing up a basic concept about the Primary vs the General Election?

In the Primaries, Obama, "Came in 2nd" to Clinton, in a couple State/Demographics. Latino's, Working Class Whites and "Big State" voters swung(swinged?) more to Hill than Obama, but wait one damn second.
Are Pundits actually trying to make us think that a Democrat, ANY Democrat might lose California? Or New York? Or Michigan? BULLCRAP. There is NO WAY a Dem can lose there: that is why the Candidates only go there to fund raise. Sorry CA readers, it's true. And you know it.

With the GOP currently using Immigration as their #2 wedge issue, do you think the Pundits REALLY think Latino voters are gonna vote for a Republican outside of Florida? Just because Clinton did better with that demographic, doesn't mean Obama LOSES with them. IDIOTS! Wait until McCain realizes that his "Base" are a bunch of scared White people and they don't like his "Reasonable" Immigration program, and he flipsflops on THAT! Oh, it's coming: Dean Heller is showing the way here in Nevada how to MILK THE FEAR OF THE BROWN MAN.(Don't get Zeke started on that one...)

Zeke has also noted that some pundits are calling Nevada a "Weak Red State", even though:

• The Dems have a ever growing Registration Advantage
• The Dems and Obama campaign have strong Grassroots Programs in place RIGHT NOW
• The Dem's actually PULLED OFF their STATE CONVENTION
• McCain came in 3rd place in the Nevada GOP Caucus
• Nevada is 24% Latino(see above)
• McCain wants to Dump Radioactive waste here: Even John Ensign hates that idea.

It makes you wonder if ANYONE knows what the hell they are paid to talk about any more. You can trust Zeke: I am shooting off my mouth for free.

New Pointless Poll-"Blue Lyon Blog?"

Check out the new ZekePoll to the right.
Seems like one of the area's great bloggers is pretty freaking upset. Is the issue a Stage in Grieving(Remember THIS old post?), and/or is Zeke just a Big Heel? I think we BOTH know the answer to the second part of THAT question. Answer as many as ya want.

Check out the
Blue Lyon Blog HERE

AD32: Zeke Picked the Boring District

Ya see, I picked AD32, chock full of "interesting charactors" running for office, as the Assembly District that would be fun to cover this Primary Season.

But NOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


Boring old AD30, the home of Assembly Goddess
Debbie Smith, is where all the excitement seems to be happening. Now first of all, ya need to understand that Smith is wildly popular out that Sun Valley Way, and rightly so. She will always tell you she is "Of and For" the people who live there and she wins every election no matter what.

Of course, the Evil and Corrupt Nevada Republican Party, has their sketchy little "run a warm body" program up and running and they tried to talk some POOR BASTARD into moving into the District to basically bug Smith.One Problem. They screwed up and may have broken the Law. And a Law with some big scary, sharp teeth. And now Trent Baldwin is going to have to go to court to explain why he filed papers that don't actually appear to be accurate. At all. And there are several people down in Vegas, AWAITING SENTENCING, for doing basically this same crap. Not good for Trent "Not Alec" Baldwin.
READ THE RGJ NEWS STORY HERE
Ironic as hell, as the chance of some "outsider" winning in Sun Valley is like finding a $4.00 gallon of gas around Lake Tahoe this summer. It ain't gonna happen, but at least we may be able to put another (allegedly)"rules are for other people" Republican in jail.

Deaniac Heller: Running for Congress in Alaska now?

For those of you who got to read Dean "Dirty Energy" Heller's email this weekend, ya may have noticed that he addressed a couple issues Zeke pointed out on this blog lately. It's almost like Zeke has a VOICE! YAAAAAAAHHH! I've been waiting for this!

Heller's email claims that even though Nevada is a leader in SOME Alternate energy areas (Glad you looked that up Dean. It's pretty cool, huh?), the good Representative thinks we should spend our precious tax dollars OUTSIDE of Nevada and our District on digging/drilling for oil/coal/shaleoil. OK, OK National Security and all, blah blah blah...

But Dean, Nevada has PLENTY of sunshine, Geothermal activity and wind, but instead of helping THOSE fledging industries, Dean "Strip mine" Heller would rather further award tax breaks to MASSIVE OIL COMPANIES that employ NOBODY in Nevada, by proxy are actively destroying the planet and ALREADY MAKE BILLIONS OF DOLLARS IN PROFITS annually.

Exxon-Mobil doesn't need our help, and the ONLY reason I can see for Heller's crazy ass plan to continue to give the OilBiz OUR MONEY by waiving taxes is he either is just doing what George "Oilbaby" Bush wants him to do, or he is TERRIBLY bad at logic. Zeke doesn't like either explanation.

Heller has forgotten that he was elected, to Represent YOU and ME in NEVADA! Not Bush. Not the GOP. Not Oil Companies. We need jobs HERE not in Alaska or Wyoming. I wonder if Dean realizes "how things are" out here in the Real World? I really wonder.

So Zeke says we offer Deaniac® to the Alaskans in trade for Ted "Bridge to Prison" Stevens. Since Ted is currently under investigation by the FBI, he'll be a great partner to Jim "Super Jack Mormon" Gibbons and his variety of scandals. It's a good fit. (Do you think we should ask for some Salmon fillets too and we'll throw in Ensign?)

You might be a Nevada CD2 Candidate if...

...your freaking Congressional Campaign website is on MYSPACE.com.

And it's called "Bad Beats and Big Wins".

CHECK IT OUT

James Smack please tell Zeke this is a mistake. You need to get a real website, Dude. We are supposed to be a "Battle ground State" these days, not some low rent backwater like Florida or Arizona.

Zeke thought Ron Paul People were computer nerds? Guess not. Ya know, it's not even a good myspace page. No "theme music", although the gun pic is priceless.

UPDATE:
Although a bunch of Sites around the web(well at least THIS ONE) list Mr Smack's Myspace as "the place" apparently there is another site, complete with the Gun Pic Check it out: HERE.

McCain: Gerald Ford Stamp

New Nevada GOP Convention Rules

As ya certainly know the State GOP Convention got scrapped in April after the Ron Paul People looked like they might be able to send representatives to the National Convention.

So to help out my friends over at the GOP,
HERE ARE SOME NEW RULES you can install to make sure you have a successful event this time on July 26th at the Re-do.
And don't look like retards. Again.

• Create a rule that only allows McCain Delegates on the floor. (No Brainer people!)
• Have a free all day showing of "Fight Club" at the Grand Sierra during the Convention. Paul Fans LOVE that movie. And love "free" even more. So does Zeke, come to think of it.
• Have $2000/person registration fee. That'll clear out the "activists". Call it a "Freedom Bond" or something.
• Hire a Clown to lead the meeting. (This is not a Bob Beers joke FYI) Ron Paul People love Balloon Animals and may not start a riot.
• Play loud rap music throughout the day. Give earplugs to anyone with McCain gear on. Fleetwood Mac works also.
• Have the "Real" Convention at the Wendover Peppermill Casino. Only tell the McCain Delegates and blame the mistake on "the printing company" and Liberal Media.

And last and certainly consider it as a complete last resort:

• ACTUALLY CREATE RULES THAT ALLOWS THE CONVENTION TO ELECT DELEGATES FROM THE FLOOR LIKE THE DEMOCRATS AND THE LIBERTARIANS DO.

Of course, that last one goes completely against the Charter of the National GOP allowing actual Democracy to occur. But some times ya gotta do what ya gotta do.

Who Wins Nevada and Why

Well I know everyone is deeply interested in what ZEKE SAYS about this topic.
Yeah right.
Everyone's got their freaking opinion on this, but I got me a BLOG sucker, so LISTEN UP.

I Know it is very early to even start this BS, but unless you wanna hear more crap about AD32 wannabees, I wouldn't complain.

WHY MCCAIN WINS NEVADA

• Old people go for their "peer" : 71 year old McCain
• Racial tensions get "mined" by the GOP and "Freedom Watch"
• McCain get's measurable Latino Vote: Sells moderate position
• War stays out of news
• Politics goes out of fashion Low turnout=McCain Win
• He picks a "regionally useful" Veep. You know who I mean.
• Obama makes Gun Control a Front Burner issue.
• Obama Picks John Kerry as Veep.
• McCain avoids any future photo ops with Bush/Cheney.

WHY OBAMA WINS NEVADA

• Politics stays fashionable. Big turnout=Obama win
• Obama Grassroots maintains fat presence
• The more Debates, the more likely Obama wins
• Latino's identify with peer:Minority Candidate in 66% White State
• Hillary turns loose her Army to Obama
• Hillary becomes Veep (In NV will help Obama)
• Yucca Mountain becomes a State Hot Button(For Real)
• Teacher's Union actively supports Obama. I mean ACTIVELY.
• If Obama reaches out to Pacific Islanders and Asians=Victory
• If Zeke endorses Obama, he will win. No Question.

Wow.

No Comment

That about Sums it Up, Scary Old Guy

This is a little "Black Helicoptery" for Zeke, but the Old Dude may have a point



I wonder if he is referring to Bush, Cheney McCain, Ensign and/or Heller?
Well, either way this should be a little Red Meat for the Starving Ron Paul people out there...

AD32: This Guy is a Republican Right?

Zeke Likes Eric Smith. As a GOP Candidate for Assembly District 32 he presents himself well. He built a great web site that really lets ya find out who he is and what he wants to do. And he also refers to himself in the third person like Zeke. It's the new thing, Dadd-e-o!
ZEKE SAYS SO.

However, when Zeke read's Smith's page though, he starts to wonder if the guy is really a GOPer after all. Although he starts off his "Issues Page" with a pretty Dyed-In-The-Wool Red State-ish line:
"Eric is in full support of Governor Gibbons “No Tax Pledge” and will work tiredly to assure that the Assembly will not have the 2/3 vote to overturn the governors veto".

Seems like any other AD32 GOP Candidate's kinda quote.

But ten we get this:
"Eric will look for realistic solutions to the illegal immigration problem."

And:
"We must also encourage business to develop renewable energy and policies through tax incentives."

And:
"Eric will make sure that our schools have the resources that allow our students to be competing in a global economy. Whether it is in K-12 or Higher educations Eric will make sure they are given the tools that will allow our students to achieve success. New technology and technical programs should be available to all students."

OK what the Hell is going on here? Did somebody check this guy out? Is he really a Republican? Fund Alt-Energy and Education and NOT Deport everybody with a Spanish last name? WHAT! He sounds almost reasonable. I thought Democrats weren't allowed to live in AD32? Must be a loopholes...always the loopholes.

Well, Zeke likes this kinda stuff. A Republican who wants to control spending but understands that our future will be determined by Energy, Education and Infra-structure planning. NOT flag pins, gay marriage laws and fear mongering over terrorism and immigration. (Although Eric owns THE FLAG STORE. Maybe he does care about Flag Pins)

Zeke might even have moved out to the 32 to vote for this guy, but I hear there is a ton of CHEAT GRASS out there, and Zeke is now scared to death of that stuff. I hear is causes Cancer!

(I better start a list of scary stuff. This Blogging crap is teaching me all kinds of things to Fear).

Zeke Luv Fest Time

OK look you people. I got a day job and the 5 zillion emails are getting annoying. Please keep sending them.

My Fav email came today: "Who in the Hell are you and What is your [expletive deleted] problem?". I am Zeke, and I am Zeke. How's that?
Next Question.

Another beaut from my "Conventioneer Identifacation Guide" post: "Do you really expect us to believe you live in Reno with that Queens Accent?" Funny. Good one Robert. You funny man. Make Zeke smile.
Anyway, today I ask you lurking nonbelievers out there to give a little luv back. Let Zeke know how he is doing. Like what you see? Hit that Digg button down there at the bottom of yer favorite post and spread the Zeke word. Don't like my "asinine sarcastic drivel"(thanks Rodney) or my "Pathetic attempt at being clever"(Beboo4 you are the bomb!). Then maybe you should check out the Desert Beacon. They make no attempts at humor. I think. Maybe I just am too thick to get it. No Offense either way DB.

You can also Subscribe to a daily Zeke email dose with the Sexy Subscription program thingy on the left, or even bring Zeke right onto yer adorable little home page by clicking the RSS feed buttons below it.

If ya don't wanna, Zeke understands. My Parole Officer says I ain't exactly a "people person". No Sh#@, buddy. No Sh#@.

Ok. You'll get a real post this afternoon. Eric Smith, running in AD32, has stepped up and has put up his page. Zeke is all over it.
Peace and thanks for looking in on me.

McCain's Desert Whitewater?

Well, maybe one of several of them. I guess that is how you become one of the Wealthest Congressmen. Shady Land deals baby!.

"Sen. John McCain championed legislation that will let an Arizona rancher trade remote grassland and ponderosa pine forest here for acres of valuable federally owned property that is ready for development, a land swap that now stands to directly benefit one of his top presidential campaign fundraisers." [WashPost]

Ya know, Zeke likes money. Really. I like to roll around in piles of twenties before I go clubbing. It is actually cheaper than Cologne these days.

But seriously, is this guy, McLame, who is running on the "Straight Talk" program, really gonna try and be an "everyman" candidate? With his Dirty $100 Mill in the Trophy Wife's bank account?

Americans really aren't gonna buy that, are they?

---ZEKE PONDERS---
Nope, I think he better try something else. I don't buy it. It smells like "Everyman" Bush's fake cowboy identity. I think McCain should get a Monocle
and go for that Old School GOP look.

AD32 Issues: Cheat Grass?

Although Zeke is reluctant to get down on the couple of AD32 Candidates who actually HAVE BOTHERED to create campaign websites so far, I gotta show you this. (Go to the "Zeke-Line" for links to the Candidates sites)

Mike Nance has on his "Issues Page" a bunch of topics he will address as your Assemblyman. Although the Mikester wants to do stuff like repeal the Patriot Act, Cut Property Taxes, Protect Religious Freedoms and Own Guns, his #2 Issue appears to be Eradicating CHEAT GRASS.

Huh?
It looks like Zeke is truly a City Boy.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS CHEAT GRASS?

Apparently this grass is bad and Nance wants to spray(I guess) much of Nevada with an Herbicide to get rid of it. I guess the Herbicide company is giving their products away for free, since it probably would cost a crapload of money to spray most of the Great Basin with poison. I am sure Mike has a great plan.

Speaking of great plans, I sure would like to see Mike's plan for Education, Energy, State Funding Issues, Health care and Election Reform. Those things, Zeke suspects, are what Assemblymen really fight about during the session. Might be good to know where he stands on THAT stuff too, ya think? Just a thought.

At least we know the all important Cheat Grass Issue is in good hands.

Are you a #1, #2 or a #3?.

Zeke knows lots of people. With vastly different views on the world.

Relating to the Obama Candidacy, Zeke can boil it down to 3 types of people. You are one of them, like it or not.

#1. People that won't vote for a Black person. Ever. They may be outright racists or may not even understand that they harbor subconscious feelings. Sad, yes, but these people do exist and you probably know some. By the way, if YOU are a racist: YOU suck.

#2. People that will vote for a Black person. No issues. If you Caucused for Obama, you are one of these people. Welcome to the party.

#3. People that won't vote for a Black person because they don't believe they can win. They believe that there are too many #1's to overcome the #2's. There are Black people in this group, by the way.

Now in the Democratic Primaries, these 3 types of people turned out in various degrees, and it was tough to really see what the actual proportions were, because #2's and #3's had an option of picking a white Dem. Zeke doesn't know what percentage of the total US population is in either #2 or #3. The real question that will need to be figured out is, what will #3's (People that won't vote for a Black person because they don't believe they can win) do now that it is Obama or McCain? There is no Dem Alternative anymore.

To Zeke, these voters are really gonna be the Swing voters this fall, and Obama's main task at hand is convincing them(White, Latino and Black even) that he CAN win. People never wanna vote for what they perceive as an eventual Loser and may stay home or switch Parties.

We all know there are plenty of #1's in our Country-not many in the Democratic Party I bet. But the Dem's have PLENTY of #3's-people who just don't think a Black person can be Elected President. I think alot of the Clinton "electability" argument was directed at the #3's in the Democratic Party, and it looks like it has worked.

What can O do about it? Well once/if Hillary goes away the issue will not be so obvious. I think Obama CLEARLY has to get a strong endorsement from Hill to reverse the damage. Anything less, and Obama is going to be in big trouble. It also needs to happen soon or the #3's may start to snowball as poll numbers show him neck and neck with McCain.

It really is all in the hands of Hillary right now. If she stays in the race til Denver,or just "disappears" after Tuesday and never helps turn the #3's into #2's, Obama is going to tank.