Danny Tarkanian: Hit the Showers, Goofy

He had no business running in this race. Everything he says, is presented better (or more wingnutty) by his opponents Sharon Angle or Sue Lowden. And in a partisan party primary race, the more extreme the better.

Tarkanian has tried to get some tea party cred lately, but it hasn't work. In fact The Tea Party Express is making fun of him. Not good, in this year of "outsiderism and wingnutism".

In fact the only thing he's got going for him, other than his cool sexy Vegas area sports name, is that he's a guy. A dude. A man. A Bro. A penis.

Republican voters like men. Every elected Nevada Republican in federal or constitutional (state) office is a boy. All of them. in fact I think the last elected woman Republican is now in prison for murder. Yikes.

I don't think Lowden or Angle are men, but who knows. They present themselves as women, and that is a BIG downside, for Republican voters at least.

I'm not saying Republicans don't like women. The only way for them in lesbian bondage strip bars dressed up like Sarah Palin. (The GOP makes this so easy)

Anyway, Tarkanian ain't gonna win. You can count on that. Zeke Says So.

Sharron Angle: Harry's Girl

Ok.

Right off the bat let me clear this up: I'm not implying that Sen. Harry Reid is giving money to the Sharron Angle campaign in her bid to win the 2010 GOP Senate nomination. Reid doesn't need to, there are plenty of other crazy rich right-wingers who are willing to do that.

However, I am saying that Harry Reid wants Sharon Angle to be the GOP nominee. Absolutely.

It all comes down to math. Nevada has an official "Tea Party" candidate on the November ballot already, and unless some very very very well paid GOP lawyer can get him thrown off, some tea party voters will be voting for him. Maybe not many, but enough to swing this election in Reid's favor. In some of Reid's past elections, he has won office by less than 1000 votes, and in this certainly close election, Tea Party Boy might want to consider changing his name to Ross Perot.

So to sum it up, if Angle wins the nomination, Harry Reid has it locked up.


Note: I realize I usually make much more fun of Sharron Angle, but I think I saw her at the shooting range last month. She has a very very big gun. And her silhouette targets looked a little bit like me. Actually, a lot like me.

Sue Lowden: Like Sands in an Hourglass

She is the front runner. At least according to the various media outlets, and legitimate and illegitimate polling entities.

But is she really? Consider this:

• The nationwide trend of throwing out Republican incumbents is pretty well-established. Sue Lowden is the closest thing the GOP has to an incumbent in this race. She is the establishment candidate, and has been endorsed by everybody up and down the ticket.
• Sue Lowden is the enemy of the tea party activists. Her role as the NV GOP chair when she shut down the "pre-Tea Party" Ron Paul supporter led effort to takeover the 2008 GOP NV state convention has come full circle. The Ron Paul Gang has not forgotten, and see this race as means to obtain vengeance on her.
• Harry Reid is openly attacking Lowden. To me, this serves two purposes:
• Get her out of the race, so Harry can face an easier to beat Sharron Angle.
• Soften her up a bit for the General Election.

The biggest problem Lowden has right now is time. Whereas the tea party folks have always hated her and never considered voting for her, the more mainstream Republicans are starting to reconsider her as their candidate. She appears to have a couple skeletons in her closet, and also has demonstrated an amazing ability to "create" issues by opening her mouth.

Even worse for Lowden, mainstream Republicans like her did not win this week in other state GOP primaries. And since Republicans always do what the other Republicans do, "establishments Sue" has some problems.

With the primary ending on June 8th, the question is: how many Republicans will cast a ballot for her this weekend, before she says something even stupider and loses the race entirely by destroying "mainstream credibility" with the non-tea party Republicans who plan to vote?

I guess we'll see. Low turnout and Lowden is done, Zeke thinks.

Lowden, Angle and Curly

So, I'm sitting in the bar last night and my tea party friend Adolf says "Hey Zeke. How comes yous never talks no more about Republicans? Everybody down at the Tea Party Compound is in the fervor over the GOP Senate race, but yous have nothing to about it no more?"
And my little neo-Nazi buddy is correct; I haven't said much.

Reason?

I've been laughing too hard to be able to type.

These guys have been making up their own jokes, better than anything I could come up with, all by themselves. It's like having a Nevada Bush administration. I mean, to outshine Gov. Gibbons in ridiculousness is a pretty good trick.

So, now that early voting is getting ready to start around the state, it's time for me to chime in. I guess. I mean it's been fun watching the prognosticators, spin bloggers and partisan nematodes spew forth their predictions about the GOP primary, but it's time for some intelligent analysis. Or maybe it's just time for some analysis from me.

Stay tuned.

Poems of Merit: Terrible Ty's Tantrum

Ty Cobb the new hero of the Right,

a torch he carries with youthful might,

but after a few,

their new hero "unglues",

to stomp campaign signs at red lights.

-Zeke Reno