Very Scary Things

I've written massive amounts about "fearmongering" by the media in this country.

But it seems like recently, the media is having trouble distinguishing what are things that are really dangerous, and infotainment "fake dangers" ala FoxNews.
So here's a handy list for you:

Things Not to Worry About:

• Pirates
• Serial Killers
• SARS/Swine Flu/Ebola/Airborne AIDS/Bedbugs
  
• Secret Muslims
• Fluoride in Drinking Water
  
• Plane Crashes
• Blackwater
  
• Your FDIC Insured Bank Failing
  
• Civil Unions in Nevada or any state
  
• Wal-Mart
  
• Wind Turbines Lowering Your Property Values
  
• Yellowstone Exploding

Things You Should Worry About:

• Crashing Your Car While Talking on the Phone
• Getting a $4000 Phone Bill from Texting
• Getting Heart Disease from eating an 80% Fat Diet
• Anti-Human Rights American Intolerance
• Our Culture Remaining Addicted to Oil
• Believing What You See on TV, talk radio, the papers or Zeke Says So blog.
  

Baseball? What the Hell Is Going on Here?

I don't like it one bit! Who the hell are these people?

Apparently, some knuckleheads down at the Reno City Council have gotten together with developers to created a madhouse in downtown Reno.

All last week there were thousands of people walking around my neighborhood, spending money and scaring the bums away.

It was disturbing. I think I even saw the mayor outside in the light of day.

I, like most of the other patrons at the Dive Bar, do not like well-dressed, educated family types with moderate amounts of discretionary spending money at their fingertips.

The next thing you know, downtown Reno won't look like a war zone and people may actually start moving into the city, spurring development and innovation. Great.

Don't those crazy "developmentaniacs" on the City Council know that us long-time Reno residents LIKE downtown just the way it is now? A Shit Hole. Complete with abandoned building drug dens, hookers and pimps and trash and abandoned cars everywhere?

Well, we do.

It makes our crappy apartments not seem so pathetic. Also, we don't feel so guilty by throwing our trash on the ground.

Ron Paul is Still Alive

And he still is saying some crazy shit. (Although if Texas REALLY wants to leave the USA, fine by me)


I guess he forgot who lost our Civil War

NV GOP to Dump Gibbons? Yes They Can!

The Evil and Mean Nevada Republican Party has little choice. They have got to get rid of their enviable candidate, current sitting Guv Jim "Chester" Gibbons.

Why you ask?

Because, very simply he will lose to ANY Democrat he runs against, and is planning on running again.

And just like the Mafia, the GOP are more than happy to turn on their own for "The Good of the Party". I've always wondered why the press never figures out the "incredible timing" of sex scandals right before primaries, but I think we're about to see a doozy here in Nevada with our governor.

With Gibbons, it will need to be a doozy, as he has already been associated with "the regular" type stuff in the past. It would have to be over the top: something that would even horrify social moderate Republicans (there are some you know). Gibbons has already demonstrated adultery, used a government phone to send scandalous text messages and allegedly attempted date rape. It's going to need to be something verrrrrrry interesting: maybe something involving sex with livestock. Or children. Or both; Livestock Children!

Whatever the NV GOP comes up with, it's bound to be good. They are Evil and Mean, after all. I wouldn't want them after me.

Stay tuned, as it will certainly be dropping soon! (Hide your cattle!)

Poem: There Be Pirates

There once was a Pirate name Rove,
Who stood in a dark alcove,
and whispered to a Bush,
And schemed with a Rush,
and files his horns down nightly, I s'pose

-Zeke Reno
April 2009

Congress Approves April 15th as National Wingnut Day

©FauxNews April 24th, 2009
Chevy Chase, Md - After the amazing display last week by fringe elements of our society, Congress voted last night in special session to honor America's crazy population with the Day of Honor. According to the legislation, it will now be acceptable on this day to wear tinfoil hats, call people racist names and blame car accidents on "alien abduction".

"We have plenty of days honoring heroes and organizations who sacrificed for America. It makes sense that we should also honor Americans who believe lying, misrepresentation of the facts and creating wacky conspiracy theories to further their political/social agendas." allegedly said Representative Barney Frank.

President of the Churchill County Tea Party Society, John "Cookie Monster" McKendree of Fallon, Nevada said "Although it's nice that the Congress is thinking about us rural, uneducated, easily swayed, knee-jerk populists, I still think this is some kind of trick. Probably has something to do with those black helicopters that steal money out of my wallet every night."

Congress also issued a statement explaining that Independence Day and Martin Luther King Jr. holiday's have been canceled noting "1776 was a loooooooong time ago, and we do have A Black President so the holidays are not needed any longer."

5 Other Obama Pets

Obviously Big O rolled out that dog last week at the precise moment he needed some "distraction Mojo" and get the press off his back.

Here are the other White House pets that will be presented in a later date to keep us from paying attention to the actual news of the day.

Spitzer the Cat
Will be introduced one hour prior to any planned press conference about a cabinet members sexual indiscretions.

Cheney and Georgie the Fish
Will be introduced right before Obama's speech announcing a $700 billion bailout to the defense contractors that have gone out of business over "lack of war". (They're too dangerous to fail, after all)

Kennedy the Pot Bellied Pig
This smart little fellow will be introduced the morning after Israel flies over Iraq (without permission) and blows up an Iranian nuclear development facility. The nonkosher choice of pet is lost on the press corps, but not the Israelis or Moslim world.

Murray the Gopher
Will be let loose on the White House golf course prior to the next time Obama gets out the clubs. The hijinks and mayhem from Barack's attempts to slay the varmint, distract the press from noticing he signed a massive continental shelf oil drilling bill.

Harry Reid is in Big Big Trouble

My little GOP buddy stopped by my bar last night. He was very smug.

The Republicans in Nevada are very happy with their latest plan to discredit and vote out the U.S. Senate majority leader Harry Reid.

Our Senator.

The "tea party" gang in Carson City last week, sported about 50% Anti-Reid signage, and at a local Reid fundraiser this weekend managed to both turnout a crowd, and even get their ridiculous message on TV.

Like it or not, the Evil GOP plan is working.

It's been a common practice of both political parties to "knock off" the respective opposing leaders of the other party, and nothing seems to have changed.

Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi, however, is untouchable in her Uber-Liberal fifedom in Berkeley. The GOP can't get her, so they're willing to spend all of their money and focus on our Senator.

The media barrage has been so intense for the past couple years, that Harry's popularity even among Democrats in Nevada has taken a hit. It's hard to find many people that can offer positive words for the man. Even worse, many normally hard-working Activists, don't seem to be too interested in the Reid campaign so far.

This is not to say Harry Reid has not done a great job for us. He has, after all, been the main reason for the success of the passage of Obama's many plans in the Senate. But you wouldn't know that from the media.

The Anti-Reid GOP onslaught has been unrelenting, and apparently effective and sway public opinion.

My buddy is very happy with himself.

Of course, all Nevadans will lose out if Reid goes away: replacing a leadership level Democrat, with a minority party Republican freshman Senator, will relegate Nevada to the back row of the Senate. And if you think things suck for us now, just wait until Senator Dean Heller or Jon Porter gets sworn in.

Cuba On My Mind

I love it. Foreign-policy by polling!

If you haven't seen this yet, there's an ongoing debate as to whether 'Merica should "normalize" relations with Cuba.

Some folks believe that 50 years of isolation by the West, has done nothing but make them sexier and more desirable than they are in reality (like that girl in biology class in 11th grade who wouldn't talk to you), while other folks believe Cuba is the embodiment of Evil and should be nuked tomorrow (like your ex-wife).

The side that wants to make friends with Cuba seems to have the upper hand these days, but what's interesting to me is the media's constant interviewing of "Cuban refugees" as to their opinion.

Well, usually the interviewees are not actually refugees: their parents or parent's parents were refugees in most cases. The actual people that fled here in the 60s are crazy old, and look terrible on TV.

What's really interesting is that politicians take stock in what refugees grandchildren have to say about foreign policy. I see poll after poll of what "Cuban-Americans" think about opening up Cuba. I can't figure out if the media is just lazy or truly believes that this small group of people have special rights that allow them to dictate what the USA does with our southern buddy.

Now I know, cynically, that it was conventional wisdom that it was impossible to win Florida without the votes of the Cuban-Americans. Guess what? The Cuban-Americans did not vote for Obama and he still won Florida.

So I guess since the Cuban-American vote has been marginalized, they can simply become Americans like the rest of us.

How come nobody asks Mexican-Americans or French Americans what our policy should be towards those countries? Only Cubans.

I wonder if reporters are just looking for "genuine" Cohiba stogies?

Or maybe that's what'll Obama is after. (The Messiah does smoke you know).

Fake Tea Party? Nice.

Oh, this is classic.

Apparently the new GOP strategy to offset the Obama administration's new New Deal type legislation, is a re-creation of the Boston Tea Party.

And even some knuckleheads here in Reno are planning on holding their own Tea Party down in Carson City next week. Too bad it's gonna snow on them (God hates Republicans these days).

There are a couple major problems with the Tea Party concept:

• The original Boston Tea Party was executed by colonists upset over not having any representation in the British Parliament. Obviously, our President was elected by America, including a majority in Reno, Washoe County and Nevada. (However the organizers lack of history knowledge DOES make a strong case for increasing education funding)
  
• The group behind this "grassroots spontaneous protest", the 9/12ers group claims to be "nonpolitical" multiple times on its websites. Does it bother anyone but Zeke, that this group has many of its meetings at the Washoe County Republican Party headquarters?
• Glenn Beck, Fox News knucklehead, the guy trying to "upgrade his career" by both invoking the GOP touchstones of 9/11 and antitax sentiments, is the main promoter of this group. He's nuts. 'Nuff said.

However, if the Republicans "Tea Party" down at the Legislature next week requires Chuck Muth and Sharon Angle dress up like "Indians" in war paint and dance around, I'm all for it!

Hell I'll even pay more taxes just to see that.

I Said No Dammit

You remember that great quote "the Democrats are a party of no ideas, and the Republicans are a party of bad ideas"?

Well, things sure have changed in the last two months.

The Democrats currently have more ideas, plans and strategies about tackling everything from global warming, the war in Iraq to the economic spin down, then the net sum total they've had since LBJ.

The Republicans however, ain't got shit. Oh, except to say that they reject everything the Democrats offer. How pathetic.

And this isn't just a national phenomenon, it's going on here at the Nevada Legislature as we speak. In fact, some of our fabulous GOP Assemblycritters (Ty Cobb I am looking at you) seem to have even inspired US Senator Ensign to boycott recent Congressional hearings. Fabulous! I'm sure glad we're still paying him, to not represent us!

I suspect this is the only way Ensign thought he could beat Dean "just say No to reality" Heller's amazing trifecta of voting against anything that might stimulate the economy three times in a row. It is pure genius on Ensign's part: he doesn't even vote "No", he doesn't even remain in the freaking building!

But then again, maybe ignoring key votes (like Ensign and Cobb) and voting No against everything else (like Heller) in the middle of America's biggest economic crisis since the Valentine's Day massacre, may just be "more of the same" for the staunch GOP conservatives. Their behavior certainly fits the description "bad ideas".