Application designers have recently started creating new applications for the suddenly interwebs savvy Conservatives, who are trying to crawl their way out of the technological grave they've been laying in since 1960. Although, very few Republicans use iPhone, preferring the Blackberry, these new programs will soon be available on the Apple website.
Michael Steele Gaff Counter
Let's face it. The chair of the RNC makes so many idiotic comments, it's difficult for even Keith Olbermann to keep up. This sexy little app displays the totals by month, week, day and hour.
Large Wildlife Targeting System
Are you a busy Governor with no free time to track down moose or wolves to shoot from your airplane? This handy app pinpoints the critters on a GPS display so you can go straight from a press conference announcing your book deal to an evangelical book burning, and pick up a little "moose meat" for dinner on the way!
ObamArmageddon Mad Libs®
Everyone loves Mad Libs®! Add some good old-fashioned conservative paranoia, race baiting and conspiracy nut theories and you have a new game, that will be fun to indoctrinate your whole family with! "Obama is destroying America because he is a __ noun__."
Filibuster Record Countdown Clock
With Senate Republicans practicing and preparing for that inevitable first filibuster, someone needs to be able to announce exactly when the 24 hour and 18 minute record has been broken. You can be that person with this app.
MapQuest Slum Avoidance Router
With the huge explosion of poor Americans, this app gives you detailed directions from your 45th floor corner office to your 17 room mansion without having to see any of the misery that you've created by routing your car around the new Bushvilles that once were our suburbs.
Infrared Liberal Detector
Scared of being argued into a intellectual corner by a well informed Liberal? Use your iPhone's infrared scanner to measure the iris reaction of a potential conversation partner to phone announcing phrases like "Would you rather have Saddam back in power?". If the buzzer goes off, run for your Towncar.