Krolicki Rescued From Chilean Mine

© FauxNews - October 1, 2010

San Sebastian, Chile - Chilean rescue workers were shocked today when they pulled Nevada's Lieut. Gov. Brian Krolicki from a mine with 20 other trapped workers. It appears no one knew that Krolicki had been trapped in the mine for the past four months, nor was anyone aware he was missing to begin with.

Chilean spokesman Otis Sandoval said through a translator "Well, we had this guy saying he was an important elected official back in America, but we thought he had just been hit on the head and was, you know, loco. It turns out he is loco, but also is the Lieutenant Governor of Nevada."

When FauxNews contacted the lieutenant governor's office in Carson City, they were unaware he had been missing for four months. Janet Stockbridge, a spokesman for the Lieutenant Governor said "Lt. Gov. Krolicki has a back door to his office, and famously doesn't like to talk to any of his staff, so what do you expect? It's not like he was doing anything here anyway. Other than playing Madden NFL 2010 in his underwear."

Recent polls report that Krolicki is in a dead heat for re-election, and also believed to be a type of foot fungus. Polls also found that Justin Bieber is totally hot, ang that race cars are cool. Vroom Vroom!

Krolicki faces off against completely overqualified Reno City Councilwoman Jessica Sferrazza on November 2, unless Krolicki gets trapped in another mine, or is abducted by space aliens. Again."