© FauxNews July 8, 2010
- Ely, Nevada - In a press release this morning, Clark County Commission Chair and Democratic nominee for governor, Rory Reid officially changed his last name. The Commissioner had been running with poor poll numbers against fake moderate GOP nominee Brian Sandoval for several months, lately showing nearly 20 points behind the former extremist judge.
"Hey, sorry dad. But just like you, I'm a scrapper. I am going to do just about anything to win, and if that means dumping our family's spoiled surname, that's what I'm going to do." said Rory Reid today as he left the courthouse.
As for where "Sexstone" came from, the Reid campaign reportedly used Google to come up with words that had the popular connotations, and combined them. Campaign manager Josh Woodson said "We picked two words that connotated strength. And then we doubled down. We had thought about 'Palin', but then we all threw up and decided not to. Gross."
Sen. Harry Reid's office had no official statement, but off the record the Majority Leader of the Senate said "I am going to kick his little ass the next time I see him. Wait. Is that recorder on? Do you know what 'off the record' means, you Fourth Estate, asshole?"