Reno City Council Votes to Create Oil Spill Disaster

©FauxNews July 15, 2010 
Reno, Nevada - The Reno City Council voted yesterday 5-2 to stage a fake oil spill on the Truckee River. Council documents indicate that the plan will be executed to "bring free worldwide media attention to Reno" and also "Provide jobs for our citizenry while cleaning up the fake mess".

Details of the plan include a secret contract with Lockheed to build a giant, fake oil tanker that will be installed near Verdi, Nevada and made to look like it is spilling it's 40,000,000 gallon load into the pristine mountain river. When asked about the reported plans, Lockheed spokesman Randall Pistolt said "What? Are you on drugs? By the way, jackass, Lockheed was bought out 20 years ago. There is no such company anymore. I don't exist."

Voting against the measure were non-crazy councilwoman Jessica Sferrazza and Mayor Bob Cashell who is apparently considering not being crazy in the future.

Bob Tompkins, a media consultant who worked with the city of Reno argued "It makes perfect sense if you think about it. Look at Louisiana. That place is a shithole, full of horrible horrible people. Now of course, because of Katrina and the oil spill, the same awful awful people get more sympathy than anyone else, AND $40 billion infused into the local economy. I think Reno would be much better as "a victim" rather than "a joke" is portrayed as now".

The city announced on its secret website "RENObscure.com that a contest would be used to select the name of the fake wrecked oil tanker. Front-runners so far in the contest are "Miss Atlantic City" and "Indian Gaming".