How to Tell the Pope Is a Republican

The signs are pretty obvious; if the Pope was an American, he'd be voting GOP. How can you tell?

Here are the clues:

• Old
• White
• Anti-Gay
• Secretly Gay
• Won't Resign after a Scandal
• Drives a Giant Car
• Says "You Betcha" a lot (in Latin)
• Has Many Slaves Servants
  
• Requires Unconditional Obedience
• Super Rich
• Did I Mention He's Old and White?
• Goes to Church
• Has a Name for His House
• Believes He Is Above the Law
• Likes to Tell People What They Can Do in the Bedroom
• You can't get more conservative, than to be the head of an organization that hasn't changed its dogma doctrine in 1000 years.