National Smugness Alert Level Near All-Time High

© FauxNews - March 22, 2010
Midland, Texas - Officials At the National Smugness Center reported this morning the highest recorded level of smugness by American citizens, and over a year. Director Bill Parsons said "the score is literally off the chart. We do need to recalibrate to see if that NSI (national smugness index) is higher than last January's election day. It's also crazy."

Parsons went on to explain that with the passing of the health care bill on March 21st, Democrats who had been reporting nearly 0% in Smugness, have risen nearly to 80%, while Republicans scores have dropped from 95% to 55%. Parsons explained "since there are statistically so few Republicans left in the United States, their drop of 40% and very little effect on the national average."

Reports have been coming in on both coasts that Smugness Sensors were so overloaded that they actually exploded, showering parts of the East Village in New York and Berkeley with burning debris. No reports of injuries to liberals have been reported so far.