Last weekend when I was stuck in the Atlanta airport (don't ask), I noticed that on twitter many Republicans were using the hashtag #TCOT to mark their tweets. I haven't been able to figure out what this secret code acronym means, but here are some guesses:
...Google Search thinks your middle name is "hypocrite"
...never served in the military, but think that driving your Hummer will get you respect from those who did.
...think "hunches" are more important than facts.
...think "global warming" is a Jack-in-the-Box chicken wing promotion.
...say "going hiking" when really mean "committing adultery".
..,show your great love for the outdoors by killing everything in it.
...have read the Bible, but still think Jesus wanted us to screw our neighbors over to get rich.
...think the Glenn Beck show is anything but a sitcom about a sociopath who refuses to take his meds.
...you cry on camera about things you did.
...think teachers are overpaid, but CEOs deserve gold-plated Gulf Stream jets.
...have never been to a public library, but know where every feed store is in town.
...know what NASCAR stands for, but no idea what NASA does.
...are a year and a half away from being voted out of office in Nevada.
Hey, I'm not trying to encourage them to do it, but from a bar stool I am sitting on, it doesn't seem like the GOP has a lot of choices at this point.
With yet another senior level Republican Governor looking like (and being) a hypocritical misogynist to his base, the very standards they've defined themselves with over the years have come back to bite the Family Values Party on the arse. Big time.
So maybe this is the chance for the break. Start a whole new party.
A Fiscal Conservative Party.
A Party that embraces fiscally conservative ideas, and doesn't address social issues at all. Check the religion and social mores at the door, so to speak.
And I know Libertarians pretend that description fits their mold, but every libertarian I know only pretends to be that way because they have a gay sister, take large amounts of drugs or just like "being unique". In reality, libertarians are just Republicans who want to seem more like bikers then bankers.
Of course, when Al Franken gets installed in the Senate any second now, the whole "threatening Republican filibuster program" will turn to dust, and the Republican Party will officially be completely chased into the wilderness for two more years minimum.
During that time I suspect the "Family Values" litmus test program will get thrown out in the trash like the political careers of Vitter, Gibbons, Craig, Ensign and Sanders.
How embarrassing.
© FauxNews June 23, 2009
Fallon Nevada - Officials at the Nevada Mental Health Institute and DaySpa reported today that in a recent poll, Nevadans classified as mentally deranged dropped from 21% to 10%.
These statistics are derived from the number of people in Nevada who still regard Governor Jim "Three Times" Gibbons with a "favorable job rating".
Bill Robertson of the NMHI and DaySpa said "This is great news for our state, as we are approaching the magic 7% number, that will allow us to simply round up the Gibbons supporters and deport them to Idaho where they can run wild and free with the rest of the crazy people."
It seems rather hysterical to me that many Nevada Democrats think that John "Captain Wang" Ensign will resign from the U.S. Senate over something as innocuous as a little "hide the wiener game".
However, anything is possible.
Just to keep the resignation possibility in perspective, here are five things that are statistically more likely to happen before Johnny E. bails on his cushy job in the Capital:
I sat down with Congressman Dean Heller(R-NV) in his office last week to discuss the many nuanced and innovative pieces of legislation in front of Congress the session.
ZSS: "Thank you for sitting down with me today Congressman. I appreciate it, buddy."
DH: "No"
ZSS: "What? Did you say something Congressman?"
DH: "No."
ZSS: "Alright. Some of your opponents are accusing you and Senator Ensign of being obstructionists, and actually having no ideas of your own. Do you think there's any truth to this accusation?"
DH: "No."
ZSS: "Some television pundits have claimed that Rush Limbaugh is currently running the Republican Party. Do you think this is a fair appraisal?"
DH: "No."
ZSS: "How do you feel about your reelection possibilities, when facing what appears to be an extremely well-funded and organized Democratic Party in 2010?"
DH: "No."
ZSS: "Uhhh... what was that Congressman?"
DH: "No."
ZSS: "No? What do you mean 'no'?"
DH: "No."
ZSS: "Okay. I get it. You're still stuck in "legislative mode". Thanks for your time Congressman."
DH: "No."
© FauxNews June 16, 2009
Hoboken New Jersey - Governor Sarah Palin announced yesterday her campaign to remove advertisers to the Zeke says so blog, after infamous #2 Best Nevada Political Blogger Zeke Reno posted an article insulting Palin's mother 14,378 times.
"Oh don't cha know, that rascal Zeke has gone over the line. Insulting someone's mom might be acceptable in elitist East 
Coast circles, but in Alaska we take our mommies very seriously."
The "Don't Cry Sarah Foundation™" is currently signing up "volunteers" who will be paid seven dollars for each letter they write to one of the hundreds of Zeke Says So blog advertisers.
Zeke, CEO of ZSS Corp. said "Oh No! Free advertising? Increase traffic to my blog? Here's another one for you then;
"Sarah Palin's mom is so cold, the Eskimos have a hundred different words describing her in bed! SLAM!"
© FauxNews June 1, 2009
Lovelock Nevada - In a surprise move today, PresidentBarack Obama appointed Nevada Governor Jim Gibbons to the 
office of Ambassador of Antarctica. This is the first time the United States has ever appointed ambassador to a continent, especially one without any form of Government, cities or population base.
Gibbons was pleasantly surprised by the announcement saying "Wow! Cool! I've always wanted to see a live polar bear and live in an igloo!" Although neither polar bears nor igloos exist in Antarctica, the Governor's Ice Palace is currently under construction at Ross Station and should be finished in time for Gibbons arrival early next week.
In an amazing and surprising show of bipartisanship, both Democratic and Republican Assemblyman and Senators immediately drove to the Carson City Governor's Mansion to help him pack for the the new job. Senator Bill Raggio (R-Reno) 
reportedly said, "We are overjoyed that our governor has been chosen for this unique task. Governor Gibbons leaving the state to move to a barren wasteland 8000 miles away to oversee penguins and glaciers is a great thing for all citizens of Nevada. It is the perfect job for the governor."
Assembly Speaker of the House Barbara Buckley said "Constitutionally we are supposed to swear in [Lieutenant Governor] Brian Krolickibut everybody over at the Legislature and the Supreme Court think it might be best if Nevada just rolls without any governor for a while. Seeing how poorly the last one worked out for us."
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