Saturday, January 31, 2009
Thursday, January 29, 2009
If you watch the talking heads on cable news, and the late-night TV yuck-masters, you get the impression that lately America has changed its mind asto which groups of people are despised the most.
And believe it or not, from where I'm sitting on this barstool, "politicians" aren't even in the top 10 any longer.
The Most Hated Groups of People in America
- Wall Street Investors
- Auto Manufacturer CEOs
- Anti-Gay Mormons
- Former Governors of Illinois
- Rush Limbaugh
- Puppy Farm Owners
- Somalian Pirates
- Oil Company Executives
- Dirt Poor Illegal Aliens
- Barney the Dinosaur
Isn't it weird though, that a President of the United States isn't on this list for the first time in eight years (maybe 20)?
And in a rather unexciting roll call vote, The Illinois Governor has been impeached and removed from office by the Illinois Senate.
The Illinois Lieutenant Governor is literally standing in the hall waiting to be announced, and sworn in as the new Governor of Illinois.
Blagojevich has, in case you missed it, been on tour all week presenting his hysterical "side of the story". We can only hope that he keeps it up and takes the show to late-night TV as well.
I'm looking at you Colbert.
Tuesday, January 27, 2009
Talk about a dilemma.
Our State relies greatly on out-of-state tourist dollars to fund our programs. Not all of it, as you might think: if the Democrats hadn't pushed through that business tax a couple sessions ago, our Governor may have had the Mansion foreclosed on by now, but that's another issue.
So since now we are in the downside of the boom/bust cycle, maybe we should seriously, and I mean seriously, consider redoing our tax structure so that this doesn't happen every couple years.
The Highly accurate and scientific Zeke Poll to the right, shows pretty clearly that Nevadans are open to more taxes. In spite of what wing nuts like Bob Beers and Chuck Muth think. Wisely spreading the tax collection over many areas, and areas unaffected by just tourist dollars, like Property and Personal/Business Income might make us so much better State to be a resident.
I'm not sure why nearly every poll taker wants to tax Mining. Maybe it has to do with the fact that nearly all mining companies in Nevada (at least the big ones) are Canadian and ducked out on many obligations US firms would be required to have.
Taxing cigarettes, booze and gambling? Hell why not. You and me have to pay for the results of those three things anyway, and increased medical insurance and fire and police salaries to clean up after the inevitable disasters. Why can't the Mormons get behind this, instead of the anti-gay program?
If we increase our fairly high state gasoline tax, we will certainly help drive people to being more frugal with their car purchases, and maybe even get a couple more hybrids on the road. Nothing wrong with that.
And I still believe that we should auction off John Ensign's Senate seat to raise some cash. God knows the Republicans will pull out their wallets to retain that one. If they don't, they will certainly lose it in Obama II, 2012.
Saturday, January 24, 2009
Obviously, Barack Obama is much, much smarter than you or me. But so what?
He will eventually have to make decisions that piss off even his most ardent supporters. You know it's coming, too. I mean look at that "reach across the aisle" decision to pick that gay hating creature to do the invocation at the inauguration. Six months from now, when the honeymoon is over, there will be a lot more than a couple wing nuts out protesting.
So I'm thinking, Obama probably has a plan to counteract this. I bet he even has a list of "created" issues that he will use to distract his base, so that he can do the truly "unpopular but necessary things" that he keeps talking about doing.
So here are some distractions you may be wondering about this time next year.
- Obama makes an Oprah fat joke.
- Obama goes goose hunting.
- Dresses up with Michelle as a Pimp and Ho for Halloween.
- Obama attends Cheney's birthday party.
- Suddenly starts smoking a pipe on the Saturday morning youtube speeches.
- Obama starts talking about Scientology. A lot.
- Barack stops shooting hoops, and starts playing cricket.
- Starts attending renaissance festivals as King.
- Goes on Colbert wearing "I love Reagan" T-shirt
- Refers to Zeke as "that Nevada socialist guy"
Friday, January 23, 2009
I know it's been awhile since we did a poll, but since our Governor has lost his freaking mind, maybe we can come up with a democratic solution to resolving our states budget crisis.
Plug your answer in and answer as many as you like.
Thursday, January 22, 2009
Zeke ain't no genius. We all know this.
But as to why our Governor, Jim "Book Burner" Gibbons feels he should single out higher education with a 50% funding cut is beyond me. And everyone I know.
Even the neocons down at the bar don't understand it.
Nevada doesn't exactly have a reputation of having an intellectual population; Las Vegas, for example, has the lowest percent of college grads in the country for a big-city.
Why in God' s name would we want to further destroy our reputation? Selfish and misguided blogger Chuck Muth, my good buddy, also fails to understand the concept that an attractive state with great services and education possibilities, will attract the kind of people and industry that we want to start moving to Nevada.
Not that there's anything wrong with strippers, showgirls and blackjack dealers, but we have enough of them already.
Having any kind of funding cut to UNR and UNLV will certainly start the resume mailing machines of the best professors. Other states are figuring out ways to maintain the budgets for their higher education needs; but not Jim Gibbons. He's going out of his way to destroy the educational system here in the state, because of the personal vendetta with Rogers and an upcoming election year ploy of "trimming the fat" from the budget.
If the UNR Alumni Association hasn't kicked Jim Gibbons out yet, might I suggest that after they boot him they burn him in effigy in front of the State's TV cameras.
It would at least be interesting.
Tuesday, January 20, 2009
Thursday, January 15, 2009
© FauxNews January 15th, 2008
Carson City - Nevada State Police have installed a protective shoe proof shield around the podium in preparation for tonight's "State of the State" by Gov. Jim Gibbons. The specially designed Plexiglas wall in constructed to withstand the inevitable barrage of shoes that will be thown by the annoyed State Press Corp.
NHP Spokesman Brian Tulli said "We had this new screen built to withstand the heavy mud covered work boots of the Elko reporters as well as those super pointy heels of the Las Vegas Press. Throw all you want, people: the ShoeShield™ will stop it."
The new screen reportedly cost $712,000, and will especially be important at tonight's speech where the Governor is expected to announce a 6% pay cut for all Nevada State Employees.
Wednesday, January 7, 2009
Washoe County's Planning Commission chickened out last night, when stared down by a bunch of knucklehead selfish rural foreign oil loving rednecks, delaying a vote on approving a 85 mega watt wind farm east of Sparks.[RGJ]
The rednecks main beef? Dust. Yes really.
Instead of recognizing that continually buying Middle Eastern oil for energy, and ultimately supporting terrorists who attacked our Country, Warm Spring Valley residents showed up at the hearing last night because they're concerned that the trucks hauling in the turbines will cause dust to blow off the roads and upset their front porch banjo playing routine.
They also complained that the truck traffic would "damage" the dirt roads. Dirt roads. How do you damage a dirt road? I don't know because I live in the city that desperately needs 85 MW of clean power. But, I'm thinking that a road grader could probably fix any dirt road in about 10 minutes.
The best hillbilly complaint of the night? Some guy actually complained that the view from the home he hasn't built yet will be destroyed because of the wind turbines on a ridge a quarter mile away. Thanks for being reasonable, buddy. Oh yeah, Osama bin Laden says thanks.
The real question is will the Washoe County Planning Commission wimp out again and further delay/not approve this absolutely needed project on February 4th?
If you like, you can call your County Planning Commissioner and ask them to consider acting on behalf of the vast majority of Washoe County instead of a handful of rural selfish isolationists who think supporting terrorism is fine.
Tell'em Zeke sent ya.
WASHOE PLANNING MEETING VIDEO
Monday, January 5, 2009
With only 15 days left in his administration George W. Bush is currently working hard on his next important task: figuring out what the hell he's going to do for the rest of his life. Here are the items on his bucket list so far:
- Clear Brush on the Ranch
- Get a Wii And Play Some Wii Golf
- Clear More Brush
- Buy A Pretzel Factory And Burn It Down
- Buy a Harley and Go To Sturgis With Laura On the Back
- Prank Call Hillary Clinton Every Day at 3 AM (oh wait, you're not the president...)
- Clear Lots More Brush
- See If I Can Fit a Pool Ball in My Mouth
- Become a Small-Town Sheriff "Respect My Authority, hippie!"
- Become Howard Stern's New Sidekick.
- Hire Stan Lee to Write My Memoir-Comic Book
- Watch all of the "West Wing" episodes and have Cheney explain what the hell's going on.
- Get a Job As a Sportswriter, Follow Rangers Around In a Tricked out Tour Bus Just like John Madden
- Build Houses with Habitat For Humanity... I'm just kidding.
- Have Air Force Napalm the Brush At The Ranch
- Go to Disney World (the secret Paraguay one for celebrities only)
Sunday, January 4, 2009
© FauxNews January 5th, 2009
Boise Idaho - Remaining true to pre-election Day promises millions of conservative Republicans are planning a mass exodus out of United States this weekend. The soon to be ex-pats cite fear over the Obama administration handing a missile launch codes over to terrorists, nationalizing every industry and confiscating all private property (including all guns, knives and fireplace pokers).
Milo Prichard of Carson City Nevada said as he packed his faded F250 pickup with plastic bags full of clothes and Elvis memorabilia "I've done said I would leave, so here I goes."
The impact of losing several million uneducated, underemployed and ignorant American Idiots is yet to be determined, although Obama Administration Officials said off the record "Who fucking cares? Seriously." Bush Administration Officials could not be reached to comment as it is Miniature Golf Day at the White House.
Canadian officials said they would be more than happy to receive the hordes of unwashed Americans as "anybody who is dumb enough to move to this frigid wasteland of ice and hockey is welcome. As long as they promise to leave their nuclear weapons at home"
Mexican officials said "Oh no you don't! We Mexicans are a sovereign nation, and we're not about to allow invasion of uneducated, impoverished goofballs. Turn on the electric fence and light a flaming fire moat full fire proof crocodiles! Arriba!".
Saturday, January 3, 2009
Hey I noticed. It's pretty obvious.
There are actually a whole hell of a lot of conservative bloggers roaming the wilds of the Nevada inter-webs these days. Most are unreadable. Worse than Zeke. But there is that one guy Chuck Muth. You know, the guy who made a big deal before the election by trying publically to figure out "who he would support for President"? Between McCain or Bob Barr? That Chuck Muth.
Some Liberal-type Nevada bloggers have the Chuckster on their blogroll, but most don't. Zeke does, and since day one, mind you along with some other Right of Center contributors. His addition to a blogroll is usually a token gesture, me thinks, to make a blog look more open minded.
I have two important reasons for promoting and supporting a political activist, the Muthmeister, when conventional wisdom suggests otherwise.
- Chuck does a great job, mainly in fiscal cases, of presenting what is exactly the wrong thing to do. Perfect example: our State is an economic crisis over reduced tax revenues. If we start cutting the lines hold up the safety net of our civilization, basically you, me and Chuck are going to be standing in a soup line or the latest victims of a home invasion robbery. When people have no hope, they get desperate. Chuck thinks cutting the safety lines is a great idea. Apparently he must own a lot of ammunition. Obviously, Nevada's tax plan doesn't work very well: it is unstable and insufficient to provide services that make our State more attractive to NON-IDIOTS. We're going to have to figure out a better way to raise revenues. Increase taxes. We can't go below 50th place in spending, Chuck. Long story short: he does a great job in showing exactly what we shouldn't do. And I love him for it because it makes my job so much easier
- Chuck establishes the boundary for the Right. In any discourse, there needs to be two sides. If you don't introduce an opposing point of view, you wind up with Berkeley. Or Lubbock, Texas: both places are Freak Shows because both cultures have no serious discourse on issues. Berkeley is a "I Can out Liberal You" town, and Lubbock is the opposite: Redneckville. Neither are probably representative of our populations beliefs in anything.
I also like saying Chuck Muuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuth to myself.
It relaxes me.