© FauxNews January 5th, 2009
Boise Idaho - Remaining true to pre-election Day promises millions of conservative Republicans are planning a mass exodus out of United States this weekend. The soon to be ex-pats cite fear over the Obama administration handing a missile launch codes over to terrorists, nationalizing every industry and confiscating all private property (including all guns, knives and fireplace pokers).
Milo Prichard of Carson City Nevada said as he packed his faded F250 pickup with plastic bags full of clothes and Elvis memorabilia "I've done said I would leave, so here I goes."
The impact of losing several million uneducated, underemployed and ignorant American Idiots is yet to be determined, although Obama Administration Officials said off the record "Who fucking cares? Seriously." Bush Administration Officials could not be reached to comment as it is Miniature Golf Day at the White House.
Canadian officials said they would be more than happy to receive the hordes of unwashed Americans as "anybody who is dumb enough to move to this frigid wasteland of ice and hockey is welcome. As long as they promise to leave their nuclear weapons at home"
Mexican officials said "Oh no you don't! We Mexicans are a sovereign nation, and we're not about to allow invasion of uneducated, impoverished goofballs. Turn on the electric fence and light a flaming fire moat full fire proof crocodiles! Arriba!".