Reno Obama Rally Crowd Estimated at 45,000. Really.

I was thinking that since when Sarah Palin came to Carson City earlier this month, and the Republicans estimated her crowd size to be about four times the reality, maybe we should pretend that the Obama rally today was in fact bigger than Burning Man.

When I speak to Democrats from all over Nevada, when they come in to my bar, I constantly hear about that fake 10,000 person in attendance number for Palin, but never hear the revised number of 2500.

So come on say it with me 45,000! 45,000 in Reno! 45,000!

Doesn't that feel good?

McCain Ditches Reno. Again.

Nevada Obama Yard Sign Time

The word on the street is that you can get an Obama Biden yard sign by going to the Barack Obama website and making a donation of $15 or more BEFORE TUESDAY AT MIDNIGHT! . The signs will be in Reno no later than October 15.

They also have election Day T-shirts available for people that make a donation of $30 or more.

So stop your whining, and get out your checkbook.

Obvious to Zeke

Maybe it's just me. I am after all just a poor blue-collar working stiff, but do the news media and general public understand what this bailout is supposed to be?

The bailout itself has nothing to do with actually saving companies, and is only really designed to make potential investors feel good about investing in companies and the stock market in general.

I mean we all know the stock market and stock prices have nothing to do with the actual value of companies, but is just a giant popularity contest. A company stock is like a beauty pageant contestant, or political candidate I guess. So in a sense this bailout is nothing but an Extreme Makeover show, designed to dress up a bad situation with a positive light.

Now that the public and Congress have rejected the makeover, Zeke ain't expecting good things to happen. I would bet that the market will drop a thousand points in the next couple hours.

You heard it here first.

Nevada Republican Party Bank Fails

© FauxNews September 29 2008
Jackpot, NV - In a shocking update today the Nevada Republican Party Bank failed in what some say is a sign of things to come. With holdings of over $100 trillion dollars, the NV GOP bank is one of the largest Party banks in the world. Its failure today, some believe, is a sign of the utter demise of the Nevada Republican Party.

Federal Bank Examiner Bob Richards said, "It looks like the failure of the Nevada Republican Party bank had nothing to do with investment in bad mortgages. From what we can tell so far this bank has gone belly up due to incompetence and corruption. They had foosball games in their board room, and their last three Quarterly Reports were written in crayon for Christ's sake!"

The bank closure will not cause the loss of any jobs has the only people who were allowed to be stockholders or work at the bank where the corrupt leaders of the Party themselves. Kind of like the Republican Party itself; many people believe they are "insiders", but it is only really the few at the top that reap the benefits gained by the selfish policies of the Republican Party.

Zac Moyle, Executive Director for the Nevada Republican Party, when asked about the Bank failure said "You guys have to stop calling me. There is no Nevada Republican Party bank. Zeke made that up. And I have election shenanigans to pull off."

5 New Palin Related Fall TV Vehicles

• ICE ROAD DUCKERS

The engrossing Reality show following the life of a small town Alaskan Mayor who spends each day avoiding pesky reporters questions.

• TWO AND A HALF SARAHS

Sarah Silverman and her 2 year old move in with long lost sister Governor Sarah Palin in Wasilla Alaska. Speaking in Tongues, religious intolerance and vagina jokes ensue.

• N*O*M*E

Dr. Sarah Palin has to deal with wacky antics of returning Iraq War Solders with missing limbs and PTSD. Is that an IUD in your pocket or are you glad to see me? HONK HONK!

• NORTHERN OVEREXPOSURE

A horror-drama mini series about a Country which becomes so infatuated with an Alaskan Candidate that her "running mate" gets elected and subsequesntly destroys the World.(Based on a Stephen King story)

• 24 Below

Dashing CIA Station Chief Sarah Palin has to deal with constant threats and treachery in World Capital Anchorage Alaska as the Evil P.O.L.A.R. B.E.A.R. Terrorist Cell lurks in the shadows.

Debate #1: McCain Never Shuts Up

Pointless Poll: Who Wins Tonight's Debate?

A pretty straight forward question.Well Who Wins?
Pick the winner on the left sidebar smart guy.

Lowered Expectations: "Hi. I'm John McCain..."

Now that John "Train Wreck" McCain has said he now WILL show for the debate, ya gotta wonder what was the point of his "Suspending the Campaign" really?

Well, I'm betting it is to lower expectations of his performance tonight. Ya know he is gonna do poorly. I mean he will probably screw up a name or two. Maybe get angry or make a snide or mean remark.

But NOW McCain's Handlers and Spinners can say "He was tired froom saving the Economy all week".

The Straight Bullcrap Express rolls on...,

Wanda Sykes on Leno: Bailout & Palin

Step 1: Gain Agreement That Elections are Not Important

You know me. I ain't one of those Conspiracy People with theories about the Illuminati and what not, BUT...

So Democrats have been saying for a long time that Bush/Cheney were planning some thing that would allow them to suspend the November 4th Election and put the USA under Martial Law or some 1984-like program.

I USED TO think that was silly.

With John McCain Canceling Friday's Debate, AND the GOP talking heads saying in near unision that "There are MORE important things then Elections", the bile starts rising in my throat.

Apparently there is some Presidental Order that allows the President to call off elections in "Times of Trouble".

Could this be the plan?

Ahhh, it's probably nothing. But if Bush brings the "FEAR" Program in his speech tonight, get ready for George Orwell to rise from the Dead.

Zeke's Interview With Sarah Palin

Zeke: "Thanks for sitting down with me today."

SP: "I'm not sitting jerky. And I'm NOT talking to you either. Get out of my way. I'm late for a meeting with some Foreign guy at the UN."

Zeke: "Just one Question Governor, why did you change your mind on cooperating with the Alaska Troopergate Investigation?"

SP: "I warned you Punk..."

Zeke: "Whoa...Ok...Is that gun loaded...?"

SP: "I bet you're thinking to yourself, did I shoot 5 or 6 Reporters earlier? In all the confusion, I admit I lost count myself."

Zeke: "Actually, it was 7 if you count Olbermann..."

SP: "So I guess you got to ask yourself, Zeke do you feel lucky? Well, DO YA ZEKE?"

Zeke: "Uh. Thanks for talking to me today Governor. I'll be going now"

Bush Speech to UN Word Cloud

CLICK IMAGE for Clearer Version

Craig Ferguson: If You Don't Vote, Vou're a Moron

Heidi Gansert Quits GOP and Endorses Obama! (Allegedly)

FauxNews™ September 22 2008
Blood Bay Nevada - In one of the Strangest turns of Nevada political events, Heidi Gansert, Nevada's Assembly Republican Leader, has apparently both quit the Republican Party and resigned from the State Legislature to become a Pirate Captain, some reports say.

CLICK HERE

When Zac Moyle, Nevada GOP Executive Director was asked to comment, he said "ZEKE SAYS SO reported that? And you BELIEVE him? Oh sweet Jesus..."

More details as they come in.

40 Days Left To Vote. For Zeke.

I know there is THAT OTHER Election is coming up, but first things First.

ZEKE SAYS SO needs your help in the RN&R's Best Blogger Election!. There are MANY other fine Bloggers in Northern Nevada, but THIS Blog is the ONLY ONE not Funded by "BIG BLOG" and their corporate lackeys!

In recent fake Financial Statements, THE DESERT BEACON reported a $400,000 "Gift" from the American Blog Research Group, and Myrna The Minx at the Reno & It's Discontents received nearly $800.000 from the Society of Smart Woman Bloggers Who Tolerate Zeke PAC. And you don't EVEN WANNA KNOW who gives money to DULLARD MUSH.

I ask you Voters, can we as a Blog Nation, possibly hope to move forward with these INSIDERS running our Internet pseudo news blogs?

I say "NO"! It's Time for a CHANGE!

ZEKE SAYS SO for NORTHERN NEVADA'S BEST BLOGGER 2008
CLICK HERE TO VOTE


Not Paid for by anyone 'cause this post is valueless. Really. But vote anyway.

Dean Heller is Laughing Like a Crazy Man

Have ya seen it? Pretty creepy if ya ask me.

Incumbent Career Politician Congressman Dean "Big Oil" Heller's new attack ad on Jill Derby is pretty much the typical "I am a Red State Republican" TV ad. Ya know, he calls her a "Insider Political Activist" and uses the "L" word about 500 times, while forgetting to mention HE is in fact been a politician LONGER than her and spends most of his time INSIDE THE WASHINGTON BELTWAY Voting 95% with Bush. Also being a Liberal is the New Hotness Dean. I know you missed the memo.

The CREEPY part is at the end when old Deaniac© does the little "I approved this message...", and I swear to God, he is LAUGHING while saying it! What is so funny, Dean? Do you LIKE Attacking people? Are you a Sadist? Seriously Dude.

My little bar buddy and close friend of your campaign is telling me things are still in FREAK OUT mode over at your campaign HQ. Are you laughing 'cause you know how close the race is, and that in this year of Change, you and your low blow ad campaign are not gonna work this time?

I wanna get a copy of that crazy laugh to play to the Telemarketers that call me. I bet THEY'LL never call me back.

STEAL THE VOTE: Nevada ForeClosure Caging

Oh I bet you saw this coming. The GOP is gonna do the ole' Voter Suppression Routine in Nevada, and like in Michigan and Ohio, they are targeting Foreclosed upon Voters in Democrat held Districts(Like Reno, Sparks and Clark County).

So for all of you People out there who have had the horrible experience of having your home ripped away from underneath you by the Bank, NOW you also get to be declared a Non-Legal Voter by the Good Folks at the Nevada Republican Party! By filing a Challenge on you, if you show up to vote or Vote By Mail, you may be told that you are not on the Rolls or that you can only cast a Provisional Ballot.

Ya see, the little GOP Weasels are sitting in some back room somewhere going over lists of Foreclosed homes, and writing down YOUR name to give to the Registar, or Poll Location Lawyer Slime so that YOU can't cast a Ballot against their Evil Candidates.

Kinda sucks.

So EVEN THOUGH things probably suck for you now, MAKE THE EFFORT THIS WEEK to Re-Register at your new and correct address. It takes a second to do, and will prevent the tactic from working. and YES it will happen to you! The GOP play HARDBALL and Nevada is VERY tight right now. PROTECT YOUR VOTE!

The Washoe Voter Registar SITE, or your local County Voter Registar Office is the ONLY place you will want to re-register at this point. Do NOT TRUST ANYONE ON THE STREET OR AT YOUR DOOR, As the GOP and GOP Groups have a long reord of Voter Fraud by chucking Democrat Marked Forms away.

The Best Sunday Morning Talk Show

For you Sunday Talkshow Heads, Try something new today:

Fareed is on CNN at 10am Reno Time. It is the best American show on International Politics.
Do NOT miss this show.

Palin Has Wings Apparently

This ought to piss somebody off.

Jon Stewart: Guv at First Sight

Area 51 Voters May Decide Nevada

FauxNews ™ September 19 2008
Rachel Nevada - In a recent MIB Poll of Nevada's non-existent Groom Lake Facility AKA Area 51, voters were in a dead heat between Senator McCain and Obama. As Nevada's Statewide polls have been close, some pundits believe that this imaginary Area will decide the States 5 Electoral votes on November 4th.

Although Facility Management has been typically quiet, both of Unions have endorsed Obama. Shop Steward for Re-Engineering Local #435 Gus Reynolds said, "We like Obama because his Health care plan will certainly help out our Union Members that have been stricken with the the Space Plague. Obama also is taller which may prevent another Gray Attack-They fear tall Humans after all."

Julie Taylor, who "may" be a Flight Attendant on Janet Air, the private Charter that daily fly into the Base from Las Vegas said "I really wanted Hillary; she was my girl. I really don't like McCain as he has tried for years to shut down the Base because I heard they wouldn't let him take a "Lucky" Mars Rock from "The Collection". What a dufus. Doesn't he know those things are Radioactive from the War?"

When this reporter attempted to enter the non-existent Base, I was arrested, Water Boarded and dumped on a distant dirt road. I can report that my two torturers thought Sarah Palin was a great candidate and loved her "spunkiness".

FauxNews ™ will continue to report on this breaking story unless those two guys in the Black SUV that is behind me, tell me to stop.

Mormons Continue to Jump Off HMS McCain

A quick scan around the Mormon Blogs are showing a scary picture for Western State GOP efforts.

One of the Tried and True Nevada GOP Grassroots Tactics is to bus in BYU Students to walk neighborhoods in Nevada.
The only Problem with this plan? In a recent email, more then half of half of Mormon BYU students are balking at McCain and Palin. Even if they do eventually vote for McCain, they are not planning on helping with the campaign.

McCain's famous Anti-Mormon "Whisper Campaign" from last Fall against Romney, and Sarah Palin involvement in the Anti-Mormon Assembly of God Church(Which lumps Mormonism in with Satanism and Witchcraft)have apparantly been building in a groundswell among the normally locked in LDS community, which will certainly cause massive problems in Western states.

And the very popular and assumed VP pick has made the break from the McCain Palin campaign as well. It was a matter of time, if you ask me.

Lehman Brothers Employees Flocking To Military

FauxNews ™ September 18, 2008
Camp CaboWabo, Ca -In a surprising new trend, thousands of now out of work Lehman Brothers Investment Bankers and Floor Trader have been signing up for careers in the US Army and Marines.

Since the massive Bank failed and went into bankruptcy this past week, many 40, 50 and 60 year old Middle Managers from Lehman Brothers have taken the path to the one last growth Industry in the US Economy, War.

Randolph Astor, 43, while waiting to get on an Army bus to bootcamp in upscale Whitebird Heights, NY said "Hey I was a FLOOR TRADER. I fought it out on the New York Mercantile Trading Floor for 5 Years! Do you know how mean those guys are? One time I got my foot stepped on AND got a paper cut! You think I am afraid of IUDs, suicide bombers and bullets? The Taliban doesn't scare me."

Ever since the Army and Marines raised their maximum age rule to 65, many Baby Boomers have stepped up to join the fight overseas in Iraq and Afghanistan. Former Fund Manager Steve Jacobs, 61. said from a base outside al-Falujah "I love the Army Life! And hell Lehman Brothers never told me what I COULDN'T do. The Army is Refreshing that way. They have a clear set of Rules, unlike the Banking Industry under the Republicans."

Robert Wendover III, 55 a former CFO of a Wall Street Investment House, explained from the Gun port of a HUM-VEE outside Kandahar, "Hell I love this job! I hope that McCain gets elected now so that I can serve right along side my Grandkids after the Draft starts in '09 to allow us to invade Iran."

Positively Lie Filled Campaign

Why does McCain keep pretending he is running a positive campaign? I know he graduated at the bottom of his class, but sweet Baby Jesus man!

God knows Zeke BARELY paid attention in school, but I did learn what the word "Positive" means. It means "Not Negative".

McCain's last 6 ads he has run in Nevada were attack ads on Obama. With the scary Music or sarcastic woman's voice.

I guess McCain is trying to establish that he also is a liar, as well as a Bad VP Picker.

Colbert: Financial Advice From Gorlock

FACTCHECKR.com Editor Goes Nuts

FauxNews™ Sept 17 2008

Hannibal, MO- FactCheckr.com Editor Robert Johnston was hauled off a ledge today by New York Mental Health Officials after suffering a breakdown and launching a 3 hour screaming tantrum from outside his 58th Floor Manhattan office window. Bystanders reported that Johnston ranted about his belief that the McCain campaign had destroyed his life.

After being sedated and straitjacketed, the well respected Executive was taken out of the building to an awaiting "Padded Truck", and spoke briefly to a FauxNews Reporter, "I duly report about every mistruth, omission and lie the McCain Palin Campaign makes but I am a voice in the Wilderness. Because that campaign lie about EVERYTHING I have no purpose! I am unneeded and worthless! How can the American Voters even CONSIDER a candidate like McCain who is NOTHING BUT Lies? AHHHHHHHHHH...!"

FactCheckr.com Inc said later in a Press Release, "We at FactCheckr.com feel that the Republican Party, and particularly the McCain Palin Campaign have specifically and unfairly Targeted our Industry by destroying our Business Plan by refusing to tell the Truth about ANYTHING. How are we supposed to get web traffic if the 1/2 the Public knows the Campaign is lying 100% of the time, and the other 1/2 refuse to look because they are afraid of what they might find? Our Business Model requires there to be SOME truth to what is being said. Thanks McCain. I hope he at least Votes to Bail Out the Fact Checking Industry he has made superfluous."

Industry Analysts have noted a steady decline in hits to fact check websites ever since McCain start losing in polling, and huge plunge once Sarah "See what you want to see" Palin was added to the ticket.

STEAL THE VOTE: How to Hack a Voting Machine

Mormons Concerned over McCain-Palin

Emails were flying! Mormon Emails. Specifically about John McCain and his VP Pick, Sarah Palin.

Although nothing has been covered about this in the Press as yet, many Rank and File Members of the Church of Latter Day Saints are starting to wonder about Sarah Palin's Church's Extreme Views on their Faith.

Some Mormons are Pretty Damn mad. I would be too if I heard my Church lumped in with "Satanism, Scientology and Witchcraft. Yes Really. Check out this WEBSITE. Incredible.

One email being passed around by LDS screamed "The Assembly of God, Sarah Palin's Church is ABSOLUTELY an extremist organization, and clearly against us... We need to WAKE UP AND SMELL THE BACON!"

Apparently there is a whole cottage Industry within the AoG Church focusing on attacking the Mormons(from another email):

"...and this comment from pastor Craig Carter - Mesa First Assembly of God, Mesa, AZ recommending a speaker from the Mormon Research Ministry whose tag line is "Challenging the claims of Mormonism since 1979" (their site is mrm.org)..."
READ THIS

Of course McCain was one of the GOP canididates involved in the now famous Anti-Mormon "Whisper Campaign" last fall [READ THIS], and his refusal to pick Obvious Choice as VP Mitt Romney confused Master Pundits and Political Novices alike. And Zeke.

Instead of the "perfect hole filler(Business and Executive experience)" that is Romney, McCain picked the Opposite. A person with little to offer the ticket, except to fire up the Southern Evangelical Base(Who hate Mormons).

Even though the Press isn't covering it, it appears that the Northern Nevada Mormon Community has caught on to the Anti Mormon flavor of the McCain Palin Campaign. If you were wondering why so many LDS weren't at Palin's Rally in Carson City on Saturday, now you know. There has been serious blowback to the Palin pick in this large Mormon State.

500,000 NEW Contributors?

Obama announced today that he received a Half a Million contributions from NEW contributors. Freaking CRAZY.

And Obama set a $ one month record. Truly CRAZY.

I know the Media pretends that "The Woman Who's Name Cannot Be Spoken" has been "energizing the Country", as opposed to the Wingnut GOP Base and Bored Press Corps, THE PEOPLE are Speaking loud and clear.

Proof That God Hates FoxNews

Grand Old Liar Party

Zeke always wonders a certain question in the run up to an election. You probably do too.

"How do Republicans rationalize in the heads, that most of their ad's and arguments are, well, Bullshit?"

Seriously. I mean if you get ANY of those "Fact Check Email Lists"(Politifact,FactCheck) or if you just watch raw footage and read "non-spun" source documents, it's pretty clear the GOP candidates lie all day long and twice on Sunday.

If you are a Republican, how do you wrap your head around the CLEAR program perpetuated by so many of smears (Obama is a Muslim), Misinterpretations(Obama will raise Middle Class Taxes) or Bold Face Lies(WMD, Swift Boat, Kindergarten Sex-Ed).

And then you get the Candidate themselves, to "dis-associate themselves" and claim that THEIR Campaign would never do such a thing.

I mean, is it a Culturally thing? I know in NASCAR, "cheating" is a HUGE part of the race and pre-race game. Is that how "Conservatives" think? Is it OK to have an "October Surprise" instead of a "well presented Honest Argument"? Is it OK to have a "Hit-man" (Or Woman) say those "Horrible" things that can be "Distanced", even though they words STILL were said and STILL are gonna be believed by some of the population?

Or are Republicans just Evil , Mean and opposed to a "Fair Fight"?

The way I see it, the one thing that Bush, Gibbons, Heller and McCain have in common is that they ALL will cheat at Monoply if you leave the table.

Which is why the Republicans need to add a word to the offical Party Name.

Did Zeke Make Up Trent Baldwin?

One of the problems of getting hit on the head a lot (and Drinking) is that sometime Reality becomes a little Fuzzy.

For example, I can't remember if Trent Baldwin is actually running for Assembly in AD30 North of Reno, or if it was an eleborate Joke I made up.

Seriously. Ask yourself this: "Have YOU ever met Baldwin?" Or even seen a real Picture of him? How do you know this isn't just a Myrna and Zeke collaboration into the the world of Satire?

Baldwin's "Alleged" Campaign web site is still blank. He hasn't done any campaigning and I know of no one who has gotten a piece of mail or seen an ad from the Trentster.

How far down does the rabbit hole go? Maybe EVERYTHING on this site is "Made up"?

If anyone out there in Reality has actually MET Trent Baldwin, let Zeke know so I keep my skull from exploding by pondering the Existence of Reality.

5 Other Things Gibbons Didn't Do.

After being "Cleared" by an Ethics Panel(2 is a Panel. Say WHAT?) for tax shenanigans in Elko, The LUV GUV, Jim Gibbons wants everyone to know about other things he didn't do.

1. Steal Billy's baseball glove in 3rd grade.
2. Drink all the Root beer.
3. Let that "Silent But Deadly" go in the Green Room at the GOP State Convention.
4. Roll through that Stop Sign Officer.
5. Help destroy Nevada's Economic Future, and the Nevada GOP with poor Leadership and near criminal mismanagement(Whoops! He DID do that one.)

Will Derby-Heller Race Help Obama?

Look. I ain't no Real Journalist type. We've established that, I think.

But since the REAL Journalists are covering Press Conferences, I thought I'd open this up: What are Carson City, Lyon and Elko Counties turnout numbers gonna look like in November?

As nobody seems  to want to mention, it is an accepted fact that Big Turnouts equal a better Dem percentage.

So with Heller and Derby spending LOTS of money in a"The Rurals" where the Presidential Campaigns are more or less avoiding, will a big turnout swing Nevada Blue? 

Most campaign staffers(after a couple of drinks) will admit that Clark County is a 3-5% Obama lock, with Washoe County coming in at between 6% to 1% McCain, the real question is how will "The Sticks" show up? With the recent massive registration effort in the the Urban Counties, the question is, how will turn out play in the rest of the State? 

How ironic would it be if it was Jill Derby's race that actually "turned the tide" in Nevada, after so many local Obama activists gave her grief for not getting an Obama Tattoo on her arm 4 months ago?

Very Ironic, Zeke thinks.

Barack Obama Acceptance Speech Video

LUV GUV: Palin Visit To Do List

Emails To Zeke Vol IV

It is that time again...

"Zeke. are you aware that Keith Olbermann has stolen your "McCain in the Membrane" tag and is using it on 'Countdown'...?"-FG McDermitt, Nevada

Of course I know! I SOLD it to him! Where'd ya think I got this new H2, with gun ports and a wet bar? Which is funny 'cause he could have just come to ZSS and stolen it without asking. Like last week. On Wednesday, in fact. Ahem.

"Do you think it is appropriate to use comedy and satire in a time when our Country is falling apart..."-SC NYC, New York

Yes I do. Read Gulliver's Travel's sometime.

"I noticed your "Get Involved" Link. Does this mean Zeke Says So is endorsing Obama?"-TB Plano,Texas

Since McCain has no real field operation in Nevada, it would be hard to put up a link for him. My Parole Officer doesn't want me endorsing anyone.

"I am a BIG Frog! Watch me hop! Yaaaaahhh!"- JR Las Vegas

Uh. Whatever Jon.

Palin Will Attempt to Kill Tahoe Tessie Saturday

FauxNews™ 9/10/2008 

Stateline, Nevada - GOP VP Candidate Sarah Palin will attempt to track and Harpoon the elusive creature Tahoe Tessie this Saturday during a trip to Carson City, reports say. Palin will

 allegedly man the Harpoon gun at the bow of the "Orca", a 60' Japanese Whaling Boat trucked in yesterday to Lake Tahoe for the hunt.

Tahoe Tessie is thought to be a plesiosaus that was trapped in the Sierra Nevada Mountain's Lake Tahoe at the end of the last Ice Age. Researchers and scientists have looked for proof as to the existence of the Beast ever since it was made up in 1972 by a South Lake Tahoe Marketing Rep, hoping to create free advertising.

A spokesman for Palin said, "This expedition to kill the Lake

 Monster has nothing to do with politics. The Governatrix™ just likes to kill things. Like Bears, Wolves and Moose. You know,  big things that most people love. It's just how she was raised. Family Values. She'd hunt your Golden Retriever if she could get away with it."

Tahoe Coast Guard spokesman Lt. Mike Adams said, "We wish Governor Palin luck in her attempt to kill the imaginary Beast, and/or destroy the dreams of Millions of Americans children".

Greenpeace plans to protest the Hunt at a rally at 

Zephyr Cove State Park, by standing around yelling rhyming chants, smoking pot and playing volleyball No spokesman for Greenpeace could be reached because "Cellphones are bad for Mother Earth, man".

McCain: Palin's Biiiotch

Palin Supports Building $623M Bridge Over Nevada's Pyramid Lake

Sarah "Shoots at Wolves" Palin recently announced a new plan to build a $623 Million Dollar Suspension Bridge over the length of Pyramid Lake. 

Having been a supporter of the "Bridge to Nowhere" in Alaska, Palin was recently quoted, allegedly, as saying "Look I just like Big Expensive Bridges! They are Sexy, and Nevadans deserve a big waste of money, like I tried to get for my State. It was a shame I had to change my story once the plan came out."

Burning Man Organizers are very excited as this 4 lane 350' high and 12 mile long Bridge that goes right over the middle of Nevada largest lake, will cut nearly 15 minutes off the drive to Gerlach. 

The State of Nevada is currently running a contest to name the "Nevada Bridge to Nowhere". Zeke recomends calling this sucker the Muth-Palin  Memorial Bridge". After all, Chuck Muth has spent SO MUCH time fighting "TAXPAYER WASTE" that maybe we out to name this Crazy Pork after him and the Republican who supported both the Alaska AND Nevada Bridges to Nowhere, Sarah "Flipper" Palin. 

3 Nevada Voting Facts You Didn't Know

• You Can't "Write a Name In" in Nevada.

With our super sexy (and rigable)  Voting Machines, there is no way to do it. Also The Absentee Ballots (Vote By Mail) also do not allow the option. So Hillary, Ron Paul and Micky Mouse fans, forgetaboutit.

• Registering to Vote Does NOT Put You on the Jury List

Jury Duty Notices are picked from Driver Licence Lists, NOT Voter Rolls. So if you have a DL, you are ALREADY in the Jury Pool list-Go REGISTER TO VOTE GOOFY.

• Absentee Ballots are ONLY counted if the Election is Close

So if the difference between 2 candidates is Greater then the Total # of Absentee Ballots, they don't count them. Skip Vote By Mail and use Early Voting.

DIVE BAR POLL - 57 Days Left

Alright. Times are Tough. In order to GET FREE Drinks, Zeke has SOLD OUT and become a Pollster. Barkeep Karl has agreed that if I do this stupid Poll every Saturday Night, It is Scotch Time for Zeke (Bottom Shelf)
So out of the 17 coherent People that spoke to me last night, here are what I got when asking: 

"Who are ya voting for President?"

Barack Obama 5
Sarah Palin 3
John McCain 2
Hillary Clinton 2
Ron Paul 1
"The Brother" 1
"The Old Dude" 1
Bob Barr 1
Howard Stern 1

Jon Stewart: Sarah Palin - Vet This!

AD24: Is Gwaltney a Joker or a Jerk?

OK, Stay with me; this might get a little Nerdy.

In Assembly District 24 in Reno, current Assemblyman, David Bobzien, is running against Dr John Gwaltney. After looking at Gwaltney's website I couldn't really find anything worth telling ya about. At first anyway.

The Doctor's SITE seems pretty damn boring when compared to Bobzien's, but then again ZEKE SAYS SO does too.

But then I looked at the "SOURCE CODE" of Gwaltney's page and found a classic. Most web pages have little pieces of Code in them called META TAGS, that tell old style search engines what is on the page.

Web Designers add keywords that they feel will reflect the content of the page. These words do not appear in the Source Code by accident-somebody puts them there on purpose.

So here is some of the Code from Dr John's Web page. Check out that last keyword.

META NAME="Keywords" CONTENT="Dr. John Gwaltney, Nevada State Assembly, District 24, Winner, State Board of Education, Genius, "> Alright. I imagine it could be a joke. Seriously, who.would add the word "Genius" in an attempt to campaign for office? But then again, most Republicans I know are pompous arrogant jerks. So who knows? Maybe his web designer threw it in as a Easter egg or something for us retarded Blogger types looking for something to write about? Anyway, since Gwaltney doesn't appear to be campaigning in any way, I wonder if HE is actually still running against Bobzien? These Reno Republicans sure seem to have faded from the scene lately.

Get Your COMMUNITY ORGANIZER T-SHIRT

Poem : Ron Paul's Waterloo

The Mighty Army of Paul,

Claimed to  Heed the REVOLUTION Call,

But When asked to "Get in Line",

By a Republican Party Swine,

The Army quit and went to The Mall.

-Zeke

Jon Stewart - Palin and the Gender Card

This maybe the most interesting, relevant and Funniest DS Bit EVER.

Hey! The Palin Pick Worked Because...

..everybody has STOPPED TALKING ABOUT:

• The Economy
• The War in Iraq
• Republican Corruption

And are instead NOW TALKING ABOUT:

• Abortion
• Executive Experience
• Religion's Role in Government
  
• Women's Glass Ceiling

Yeah, the GOP has changed the channell, for now anyway, and every Post a Blogger makes about the Pro-Life/Choice Issue, or the "Amount of Executive Experience" one candidate has over another is a victory for the GOP.

Hell, they've even introduced the "Sexism" battle cry used by Hillary to attack ANYONE who questions Palin's Candidacy.

Republicans don't wanna talk about the Economy: they are the ones that screwed it up!
Republicans don't wanna talk about Iraq: they are the ones that Started it!
Republicans will do ANYTHING to get rid of the Corruption Issue, including pick an unknown and unvetted Candidate from a State with less population then Freaking Nevada. Just so they can change the subject in the Media.

You want McCain-Palin to win? Keep talking about her "Problems"; it is EXACTLY what Karl Rove is counting on..

MOOSE-It's Whats for Dinner! T-Shirt

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It's BLOGWAR!

8/3/2008 © FauxNews™
Elko, Nevada- In a surprising turn, nearly every Political Blog in Nevada has erupted into war with each other, right in the heat of the General Election campaign.

Although Dullard Mush Blog struck First Blood earlier this summer in an unprovoked attack on ZEKE SAYS SO, it was Zeke that launched the latest start of Blog on Blog warfare with a blistering shelling of the Ralston Flash. The attack was not publicly responded to by Mr Big Frog, but it was quickly followed by yet another unprovoked Dullard Mush attack on the Gleaner and Reno & It's Discontents. This Bombing was returned in force by a rather pissed off Myrna the Minx, showing to other Hostile Bloggers why you should NEVER F$#% with R&D. Ever.

Adding to the battle, Ryan Jerz brought Hell down onto Tex-ex and his new Blog. Tex-ex has been attacking the Gleaner for years in what could probably be called a war of attrition. Lastly, Dullard Mush again pointed to a border skirmish between the Blue Lyon and Zeke Says So.

Noticeably quiet in the recent conflicts has been what most Pundits believe to be the "Invisible Hand of Regional Evil", the My Silver State Blog. It is simply a matter of time until Blogs from Oregon and California are drawn into this growing conflagration, and My Silver State is the ONLY blog that has strong ties in adjacent States.

When asked about the ongoing BlogWar, Sven of My Silver State said, "I really think Jill Derby is going to win! Did you see my Interview with Allison Copening? She is very Progressive and I like her."


Premier Zeke of The Republic of Zekeastan said, "See what I mean? That Sven guy is UP To Something!"

Make a Palin Cocktail - "Melting Alaskan"

Ok. in the Spirit of Alcoholism, here is a new drink you can suck on while watching Sarah Palin explain why she deserves Red State Love™ at tonight's RNC.

• Get a BIG Cup. Plastic is OK, since like Palin it is made of Oil. One of those Super Big Gulp™ Cups will Work
• Add 20 oz of Plain Vanilla Ice Cream
• Add 4 Oz of Crusted Ice, preferable from a melting Glacier
• Add 3 oz of NyQuil™ (Evangelicals can't drink alcohol, but medicine is OK!)
• Add 8 Maraschino Cherries to simulate Polar Bear meat.
• Blend on Medium for 2 minutes
• Cover with 1 oz Hershey's Syrup™ to simulate Offshore Oil Spill.
  

Barkeep Karl™ made these Cocktails last night for the Dive Bar Regulars™ , and like Sarah Palin™ some people liked the Drink, some people hated it, and most people said "Why is this being forced on me? Is this a joke, or what?"

Bottoms up!™

Rove Playbook: August 2008

McCain Veep Vetting Team

Everyone at the Bar has been wondering who was on the CRACK McCain VP Vetting Squad, to have so few* "surprises" show up after he named Sarah Palin as his running mate.

Well, here are those sharp cookies that DUG in and really brought to light all of the issues with Palin, in the two and a half days McCain gave them.

• Chair: Inspector Cluso
• The Hamburglar
  
• Scooby and Shaggy
• Stapler Guy from Office Space
• Gov Jim Gibbons
• Col Flagg

*Yes this is sarcasm, Desert Beacon

Poem: Strong Sarah's Purpose

Sarah Palin once shot a live Bear,
So NO ONE will ever call her a "square",
But when she Stumps with McCain,
Cindy will certainly arrange,
To let Ms Veep push his Damned Wheelchair!
-Zeke

Email to Zeke From McCain Relief Effort

Sept 1st, 2008

Mr Zeke Reno,

I am not sure if your email requesting $25.75 for "Relief for a Round of Hurricanes for the Bar" is a joke, but I don't really think it is that funny.

In Louisiana today many good Americans had to get off their couches and drive for 2 hours to sit on another couch at an inland motel or friend's house. This unbelievable "inconvenience" will cost Americans lots of money they just can't afford, thanks to my fellow Republican's mismanagement of the Economy for the past 7 years.

Your asking for money to pay for alcohol is incredibly inappropriate at this time, as the devastating Snow and Windstorms, Earthquakes and Wildfires that have hit Northern Nevada this past year DID NOT TAKE PLACE WHEN IT WAS POLITICALLY CONVENIENT TO THE GOP. So Suck it.

By the way, I hate Reno. Really.

Your Friend,
John S McCain, III

ps Cindy says "Hi"

Better Female VP Picks Than Palin

Yeah, some GOPers are still pretending Sarah Palin was a SMART or WISE Choice. Can you BELIEVE them?

Since McCain still thinks that some of Hillary's Supporters aren't joining up with Obama, he thought picking a woman would be all he needed to do. Wrong again.

Here are some women that would have been better and more credible Veep Choices for Old Man McCain.

• Nancy Reagan
• Angelina Jolie
  
• Myrna the Minx
  
• Cindy McCain
  
• Jessica Rabbit
• The Borg Queen from Star Trek
  
• Sarah Silverman
  
• Xena
• Natashia Badenov
• Cokie Roberts
• Jenna Bush
• ANY of the Hairdo's from FoxNotNews™
  
• Hillary Clinton