McCain, Palin, Cheney and Bush Ain't Going to MN

Well I hope Minnesota got paid up front to hold the GOP Convention this week. 'Cause as of now the current Prez and Veep, as well as the GOP Prez and Veep Nominees have bailed out of attending because of a Hurricane.

And OF COURSE it is just a way for them to skip having to show the Country just how Busted and Tired the GOP is these days. After the Dem LoveFest in Denver, it would have been a disaster to try and upstage them. So they are pulling the plug as we speak.

Oh, and I bet very few News Sources will call them on it.
Oh No, they will let Sarah Palin pretend that she is somehow involved with a disaster that is occurring nearly 3200 miles away in a State that she isn't the Governor. And Cheney? Why is HE not going? He has no official job relating to ANYTHING to do with this kind of event. And I really wanted to see him spin some crap about Iran having SARIN or something. Oh well.

They definitely lucked out with Gustav. I wonder what their "back up excuses" for not going were?

• "A dog ate my speech"?
• "Lake Wobegon Dam Might Collapse"?
• "We all have the flu"?
• "Air Force One, Two and Three are in the shop"?
  

I guess the Nevada Deleagates can brag they have now been part of 4 Busted GOP Conventions this year. That has GOT to be a record...

Colbert: Who the F%&$ is Sarah Palin?

Cafferty: Palin Choice is "Ballgame Over"

Bill Maher: VP Stew Sarah Palin

11 Other Things the Nevada GOP Want You to Believe...

...Other than Sarah Palin was a SMART and HELPFUL pick as McCain's VP Choice.

11. That Jill Derby is Pro-Gun control.(She ain't and is a strong supporter of Gun Owner rights).

10. Nobody will be Voting for Libertarian Bob Barr.(Recent polls show Barr at 9% in NV)

9. That the GOP will gain seats in the Legislature. (Nope. In act they are gonna lose the Senate too)

8. That Jim Gibbons Popularity is rising in NV.(Not really. In Fact having 3 out of 4 people think you suck instead of 4 out of 5 ain't worth mentioning)

7. "The Rurals" are Solid "Red". (Nope. Even White Pine County is 58 Voters from being Democratic Majority)

6. The Democrats are Split because of Hillary.(Nope. Just a FoxFabrication™ )

5. Dean Heller is Pro Alternate Energy.(He votes against Alt Energy Bills every time)

4. That the NV GOP Caucuses were a success
(With 1/3 the Dem Turnout, no organization, and losing complete track of elected Delegate Names, it was a complete Disaster)

3. Current State Budget Woes are Caused by the Democrats.(It Ain't)

2. Their Screwing up 3 State Conventions, being sued by their own members and having their Appointed Delegates to the National Convention Rejected by the RNC, is not a sign of trouble.(It is and the NV GOP is actually Dead and Buried)

1. The 60,670(5.7%) Democrat Registration advantage doesn't mean NV is Blue.(Uh. Yes it does)

Jimmy Gibby: GOP Con Checklist

Speaker Schedule for GOP Convention

Hey, I'm not trying to scare you, but in 3 days the World will be ending. Well, the BEGINING of the End, that is.

At least if you listen to those sweet people over at the Republican Party, during the 2008 FEARFEST in St. Paul Minnesota, you'd think that anyway.
And from looking at this Speaker Line up, you can see this year they REALLY plan to scare the American Public with Doom and Gloom.

Tuesday:

• Chucky
• Darth Vader
• Dick Cheney
• Hannibal Lecter
• The Grudge
  
• Cindy McCain

Wednesday

• John Ensign
• Leatherface
• 100' Stay Puff Marshmellow Man
• Chuck Norris
• Count Dracula
  
• Mitt Romney
• Sarah Palin
  

Thursday

• Jason
• Freddy Kruger
• 3 Witches from MacBeth
  
• George W Bush
• Satan(Karl Rove without Mask)
  
• John McCain

Obama Will Win Nevada

And McCain ensured Obama's victory in November this morning by Not Picking Mormon Favorite Son, Mitt Romney.

Hundreds of Democratic Activists and Leaders State and Nationwide, breathed a big sigh of relief when John "Happy 72" McCain DIDN'T pick that one Veep Candidate who would have probably won him MormonLands Nevada, Colorado and locked down any chance Obama may have had in Arizona(O was only 5% behind there).

On top of the amazing speeches of the past 4 nights, McCain has made the completely wacky choice of an unvetted, incredibly untested Beauty Contestant. from Alaska. Sarah Palin as his Veep choice. Instead of Romney who could have HANDED McCain 17% of the Mormon voters in Nevada.

Oops.

I guess we can write this up as another example of McCain's bad Choice making skills. I guess McCain AND Palin are against Choice, huh. Oh don't worry, the media will catch on to this horrible decision soon enough.

And Happy Birthday John McCain! You are now older than the life expectancy of nearly all the Southern Red States!

Barack Obama Acceptence Speech Text Cloud

How does Sven find these things? Very cool.

Fighting the Cops

Zeke knows a couple things. Just a couple. And in a big list of Dumb Things to do, "Fighting the Cops" is about #7. Yeah, I know all that crap about Freedom of Speech, and ".. a little Revolution is good for a Country...blah, blah", but looking at some of these videoes from the Protesters outside the Democratic Party Convention in Denver I wondered what was the point?

Protesting may have made an impact when it was a fresh idea. And also when "Normal" people were doing it. After looking at these videos it become clear that THESE guys will protest at the drop of a hat. Even if they get what they want. The Dems just nominated the candidate who "wants out of Iraq", and picked an Anti War VP, but that is twisted into something that the "Anti-war Protesters", will, well, Protest. Amazing. They live in a Protest Culture and are outraged by something all the time. I wonder if there are Zeke Protesters somewhere? Well, I guess I can always dream.

From Youtube's vast collection of DNC clips, it is clear that many of the Protesters are looking for trouble, and when you go up against the Body Armored, Helmeted, Tear Gas spraying, Baton Wielding Testosterone Crazy members of Denver's Finest, you are gonna find trouble. CHECK THIS CRAZINESS OUT.

Protesting in the new millennium is just another way for adrenaline junkies to get their fix, while getting that warm feeling that they are doing something "important". It's like they are too violent , self righteous and uncreative to go to Burning Man, so they do this.Fighting with the cops maybe fun, but it is pointless. Not to mention that for once, the action INSIDE the Convention is more Dramatic that the protests OUTSIDE.

So what is the point? To get some video of "The Cops Beating Protesters?" Great, THAT will solve the world's Problems. There is even a Group called "Recreate '68", a reference to the disastrous mess of the Dem Convention in Chicago in 1968. Wonderful! You get the feeling from watching the video that these "Sons of the Hippies" don't realize that the proceeding going on in the Pepsi Center are actually the things that WILL change the Government. Not a "March down some street chanting and waving signs, while the cops look for a reason to beat their ass".

And stupidest of all is that the Protesters are at the WRONG Convention! Last time I looked it was the GOP that is building a Death Star and represents all that is Evil in the World. Why are they screwing with the Democrats?

Anyway, there was ONE good thing to come from the Video's WATCH a FOX reporter get run off. Priceless.

Colbert: Michelle Obama's Speech

Nevada Delegates Go 25-8 Obama

During the Roll Call Vote just now, Nevada Delegates Presented Sen Obama with 25 Delegates, and Hillary Clinton with 8 Delegates.

OK Guys. You can all come home now and help canvass.

Pointless Poll: Who Talks Longer?

We all know the Joe and Bill can talk a LOOOOONG time.

But who will be the longest? My money is on Bubba. In fact I bet he scraps his script after 15 minutes: Why not? This will certainly be his last Big Speech in his life. Might as well live it up.

Reviewing the GOP Election Plan

Dec 2006-Jan 2008 : GOP EXPECTED to run against Hillary. They had EVERYTHING ready to go. Hit Pieces lined up in rows like dominoes.

Jan-June 2008 : Out of nowhere Obama becomes the frontrunner. Republicans Freaks out. GOP and Limbaugh, switch plans, and try to get Republicans to vote for Hillary. They Pretend that everything is fine.(OMG! She ain't gonna win! Oh NOOOOOOO!)

June 2008- Aug 26 2008 : Republicans try and convince Hillary voters that they got "Screwed" somehow. They smugly pretend that they REALLY wanted Obama all along. All they can hope to do is cause trouble within the Dem Party, because they have NO PLAN to beat Obama.

Aug 26 2008 - ? : Republicans and FOXNews argue that Hillary "looked Sad" and secretly doesn't like Obama. They pretend to themselves it is working.In private they weep.

The Question is, will the Old JEDI MIND TRICK work? FOXNews and Nevada Bloggers are ALREADY trying to create the impression that the Democratic Convention is not going well, and the Hillary people are still mad. These are Not the Droids you are looking for.

From what I saw last night, the Non-Crazy People (who are Delegates), are NOT buying it. Looks like America, like Nevada Voters are getting wise to the GOP Hate Program. Bout time.

Super McCain Bros

Collect all 44 McCain POW Cards!

***** STANDARD DISCLAIMER *****
Although Zeke is a Big Mouth and all around Jerk, Zeke would never, ever, never make fun of Senator McCain's or ANY American's Service to our Country. HoWever, I WILL make fun of him when he uses it to get out of answering for recent issues, as he has on a near weekly basis.
The Guy IS running for President ya know.

CARD #1 -The Tonight Show

Last Night on , the Tonight Show, McCain joked about how he couldn't remember how many Houses he had but also said that when he had been a POW he had no House or Kitchen Table.

Ralston WRONG on Derby Heller Poll. Sorry Big Frog

And Zeke can Prove it.
In a recent PolitickerNV interview " Jon "Old Busted" Ralston stated that a recent Survey by the Reno Gazette Journal had Jill Derby neck and neck with Rep Deaniac Heller.

Ralston said “I don’t know whether they oversampled Washoe County, which Jill Derby beat Dean Heller last time but then got crushed in rural Nevada, which is the majority of the district,” Ralston continued. “But that poll doesn’t sound right to me. If that poll is right, though, that is saying something that no one else picked up on.”[PNV]

Well Jon, you are just wrong. Currently "The Metro" part of CD2 is by far the Majority of the District. Here are the results from the SOS Office for July 2008 Active Voter numbers:

Rural Counties 145,770 Voters 38.2%
Clark(CD2) 28,199 Voters 7.5%
Washoe 206,768 Voters 54.3%
Total CD2 Voters 380.737

Zeke has noticed that Ralston has been Phoning it in for awhile, and his misinformed off-hand comments, show that maybe Ralston needs to start doing some research.

In a State that never mattered politically before, Ralston could get away with whatever he wanted to say 'cause nobody cared, and nobody knew any better.

Well there now ARE people that Know Better AND care, Like ZEKE.

Maybe Ralston ought to stop shootin' from his "Big Frog in a Little Pond" Hip, and see how the State has changed, since he started his climb all those years ago.

Ya know there ARE people here like Zeke that could step into the Ralston Media Empire. If Ralston started dropping the Ball. Like on this Story.

5 Things I Don't Get

1. Obama has about the same number of Evangelical Voters, that McCain has Latino Voters. How come ya never hear THAT fact?






2. Why do ALL of the Bloggers and Network reporters cover everything BUT what is actually going on at the convention? When are they gonna stop covering the "Police Presence" or Protesters or Food or House band and actually describe ONE Freaking thing that is happening on the Floor or Stage? They shoulda invited Zeke...


3. How does Jon Ralston get people to pay to read his emails? Edward R Murrow seems to be doing more reporting than Ralston, and Murrow is dead.
   






4. Do the "I love McCain" Clinton Supporters wear special Badges or do they just get in a line so that the media can interview them over and over and over...?
5. How many Obamas ARE there? Jesus. Is he Mormon, or what? Last count was 23...
   

I Have a Dream, Part I

Part II is Thursday Night

McCain Picks Fake Bigfoot Corpse as Veep

Not FoxNews-8/25/08 - In a surprise move today, Sen John McCain (R-AZ) picked the fake rubber Bigfoot Corpse found in the woods 3 weeks ago to be his VP running mate in this Fall's Election.

When asked about this unusual choice, McCain smiled handed reporters a handwritten paper:

WHY RUBBER BIGFOOT IS MY VP CHOICE

• He is taller than Obama
• He was actually born in the USA(Unlike me)
• He is almost as scary as Cheney
• He is better know than the other Republicans possibles
  
• He will help us with the North Carolina Redneck Vote
  
• Smells better than Ron Paul
• He has more Charisma than Romney
• He is made of plastic, so he supports new Offshore Drilling
• He is fake, just like my Mavorick Status
• He is better at public speaking than me
• Fake Rubber Bigfoot believes the Bush Tax Cuts should stay in Place.
• "What the Hell. I'm gonna lose anyway"
  
• Cindy Says So

When asked to comment, RNC Chair Mike Duncan said, "WHAT? He Did WHAT? Holy Jesus I hate that man..."

When reporters asked Fake Rubber Bigfoot for a comment he said nothing because he is fake and can't talk.

Monday Dem Con Agenda and Speakers

Monday’s headline prime-time speaker will be Michelle Obama.

Other Monday night speakers include:
Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi; Senator Claire McCaskill of Missouri; Barack Obama’s sister Maya Soetero-Ng and Craig Robinson, Michelle Obama’s older brother; Jerry Kellman, mentor and long-time friend of Barack Obama; Representative Jesse Jackson, Jr.; former Indiana Representative Lee Hamilton; Tom Balanoff, President of Illinois SEIU; Nancy Keenan, President of NARAL Pro-Choice America; NEA President Reg Weaver; AFT President Randi Weingarten; Illinois Attorney General Lisa Madigan; State Comptroller Dan Hynes; Illinois State Treasurer Alexi Giannoulis; Chicago City Clerk Miguel del Valle; and Denver Mayor John Hickenlooper.

Monday night will also feature a tribute to Senator Edward M. Kennedy.

1 or 2 New CD's in Nevada?

Well nobody has brought this us yet, but I might as well get it started.

With the crazy growth this State has seen these past 8 years since the last Census we are gonna be getting AT LEAST 1 more Congressional District, maybe 2 after the 2010 count. t that is Great. Perfect timing.

And Man, I hope Washoe can pull off the 665K Estimated population needed to get OUR OWN Person. If we wind up with that many people, the 2nd new CD will be parsed outta Vegas and include the rest of the State, like CD2 is done now.
Yeah I know Rural Nevada is growing, but not in sheer numbers like Washoe and Clark Counties. They will not have a large enough population EVER to get a non "Part-Urban" Rep. Sorry.

Having a "Vegas" District absorb "The Rurals" will DEFINITELY help popular opinion of Reno/Sparks.

WHY? Well look people, we Renoites get a lot of crap for being "Country Folk" by Las Vegans, even though WE invented the Resort Casino Program; WE have the better University and are WE are CONSIDERABLY more educated then the "most uneducated city in America:Las Vegas"(Zeke not with standing).

Even John "Arizona Lame" McCain thinks it is cool to make fun of our city, EVEN WHEN HE IS CAMPAIGNING HERE.

What really pisses me off is that we keep trying to play this town off as some kind of "Cowboy" hangout; it ain't. Do cowboys go to Burning Man? Do they Ski at World Class Ski Resorts? Do they Race Freaking Jet Airplanes around a track at 550mph? Not any Cowboys I know. In fact don't even KNOW an actual Reno Cowboy. Which makes sense, 'cause there AIN'T ANY.

Having a Congressperson that JUST WORRIES ABOUT Reno/Sparks/Washoe and NOT "Elko" or "Ely" or "Tonopah", will go a long way in getting rid of this misplaced image.

So everybody: invite yer friends and relatives to move here. At least until 2011. Screw the water shortage: we need people!

And most importantly: when the Census guy come to the Door in February 2010, tell'em 10 people live with you!

It's OK to lie about this one little thing, little Billy, 'cause Zeke Says So.

11 Other Things The Nevada Caucus Caused

Everywhere ya go, SOMEBODY bitches about how screwed up their Caucus was. Democrats and Republicans. Even People that didn't go to the damn thing feel they should complain.
Well here are some things that you may not know occurred because of the Nevada Caucus Process:

• Jim Gibbons Cheatin' on his Wife
• Earthquakes in Wells and Verdi
• USA Track Teams Dropping the Batons
• The Death of the Nevade Republican Party*
• Increase Price of Gas
• Incredible Success of Romney, Paul and Clinton Campaigns
• Death of Heath Ledger
• State Budget Crisis
• Lake Tahoe Dam Failing(Next weeks big story)
• Your new interest in Politics*
• Existence of ZEKE SAYS SO Blog*

So it's a mixed bag. Maybe next time I'll go to the Caucus and see what all the fuss is about.

*Actually True

Weekend Non Political Post

Colbert: Catharsis

On Tuesday Hillary will do "Something". God Knows What.

Biden is the One! Really

Yes, as I said 4 days ago. It is Joe Biden as Obama's Veep
SEE MORE

Contest! Who Introduces Obama on Thursday Night?

The New York Times presented this Question today.

So let's see what YOU Nevada Blog Reader Studs and Studettes know.

Who will be the person who Introduces Barack Obama on Thursday Night in Denver?

Enter your Guess in the Comments below. One guess per person and if you cheat, you are banned from every other freaking Zeke contest forever. Contest ends as soon as the real name is reported, so get your vote in NOW!

Winner wins an Actual ZEKE SAYS SO Button! Very Cool.

Of Course Derby is Winning

God Knows Zeke takes the Jester Role in Political Blogging around here.
But I have been CRYSTAL CLEAR about the Derby-Heller race from day one. Derby is winning, and if things keep going the way they are, she is a lock.

Over 6 months ago, thanks to the Caucus and energetic Campaigns, Democrats have "Made up the difference" in her "loss margin from '06" in CD2. So in other words the race has been a tie for a while, but ONLY if Derby or Heller didn't do any thing that LOST them votes.

Derby has been pretty "Business as usual" and very "on-message"-appearing in events and fundraising why gaining media attention by getting her Campaign upgraded to the Top Tier by the DCCC(Zeke broke that story a week before everyone else by the way)

Heller, in the past 6 months, has made highly published remarks criticising his own Party, saying the GOP needs to be cleaned from the house. Dean then went on to introduce a Bill that will certainly threaten the 17% Latino Voters in CD2, by requiring "English Only" Ballots on all Federal Ballots. And lastly, as if that wasn't enough, Heller joined the Idiot Parade at the Dark Capitol to Protest Congress not staying is session to knock out that pesky Energy Program. He looked like a fool, missed campaign opportunities and got little local coverage for the effort.

So, basically, Heller has HELPED Derby by, well, just being himself. He has pretty clearly demonstrated that he is bad at campaigning as he is as a Congressman(435th Power rank out of 435)

For those of us who have been paying attention, the recent "Poll" is hardly a shock. In fact, Derby is gonna win because she appeals to at least some of all 3 large groups of Voters in the CD. Every Democrat is going to vote for her, because she IS the Democrat. Non-Partisans are going to vote for her because Heller has proven ineffective and many feel his 95% Bush Voting record has been a large part of our Nation's problems. Many Republicans will also be voting for her as she is a Moderate in many issues, is anti gun control, and believes in Multi-Use Environmental Management practices.

Alright, back to the Satire. Zeke out.

Letter to Zeke From the RNC

August 13th, 2008

Dear Zeke Reno,III,

Thank you for your generous offer to address our National Convention as the Keynote Speaker in St Paul next month.

Although by now you may have heard we are having Rudy Giuliani speak, and we feel his considerable experience in losing Horribly will help prepare Republicans all over the Nation as to what to expect in November. The Pains of Losing, I mean.

I am actually intrigued in why you thought we'd be interested in letting you speak when, as you put it in your letter, you'd "beat some freaking sense into our Ugly, Thick Skulls". Furthermore we are not ALL hypocritical, Evil Fatcat, power brokers, born with Silver Spoons' up our Arses. For the Record we Republicans also are needlessly greedy, as we already own everything, but are never content to stop pulling candy out of Babes' mouths. It is Our Way.

All we can imagine is that your letter and offer are some kind of joke. If so, you must be aware that we Republicans have no sense of Humor whatsoever.

Lastly, your offer to select the Nevada Delegates is kind, however since we, the National Republican Party do not care about the people of Nevada, at all, we would actually prefer if no one came to St Paul from your whore-filled State of Sin and Mormons. Why do you think we want to dump Nuclear Waste there? We hate you.

Regards,
Walter Farsworth Richdude, Esq
Faux RNC Board Member and Convention Chair

PS. The garlic clove and Vial of Holy Water you enclosed didn't work. I believe you are confusing us with Vampires, to which only Dick Cheney is one.

Dan Burk at Sept Washoe Dems Meeting

Zeke will be taking bets later as to whether Washoe County Registrar Dan "The Mole" Burk actually shows up at next month's Washoe County Democrats monthly meeting at their HQ at 1465 Terminal Way..

Although Zeke has dished on the guy in recent posts, for him possibly being a SECRET REPUBLICAN it will be good to see how he answers the CONSIDERABLE questions people have about the integrity of our County voting system including:

• Our Use of Voting Machines that are currently "De certified" in California
• Why had so many Precinct Voting locations been moved recently?
• Why was the number of Early voting locations LOWERED even though the program has been HUGELY successful and massive turnout is expected.
• How will the "Voter Challenge" Rule be supervised.

Yeah, at this point I am laying a line 3-1 AGAINST Burk actually showing up. Would you? After all, he has A LOT of 'splainin' to do.

Zekeastan Still Medal-Free at Olympics

Aug 20th, 2008 Blog World News Wire - Although favored to win Olympic Gold in several events at this summer's Bejing Games, the Republic of Zekeastan has so far been shut out.

Zeke Reno, holder of the current World Record in both Drunk SkeeBall and the 100M Free Insult, has been lackluster in the events so far these Games with only a 4th and 5th place finish in those two events.

Zekeastan's last chance comes tomorrow at the Team Complaining Event.

Premier Zeke was quote as saying on Zekeastan television: "If we do not win a glorious victory tomorrow, there will be trouble. And since Sven at My Silver State Blog is clearly behind ALL of our Nations Problems, Sven will be the one who will pay".

UN spokesman Bjorn Jorganjonnsen commented on this latest threat to regional Peace by saying, "Where in the Hell is Zekeastan? Did you make that up. That sounds made up".

NV Supreme Court Ballot Question Arguments Webcast Info

For those of you that actually think that the Citizens of Nevada may vote to raise their own taxes, the Nevada Supreme Court will hear arguments about it on a web cast at 10am today:
CLICK HERE FOR THE WEBCAST

John W McCain, III

Joe Biden!

Ha! Got you to click didn't I? You thought I knew something you didn't know. Who the Dem VP nominee will will be?

We'll it ain't offical yet BUT Zeke has it on good source that the deal is gonna go down tommorrow early, and it WILL be the good Senator from Delaware.

Ya know Obama was here on Sunday to meet Zeke. That "Union Thing" was the cover. It's a Done Deal.

On the other hand...

The GOP have not been able to get the Ouija Board to work right yet (It keeps saying "Doesn't matter") However, no matter WHO McCain is told to pick, it will be the "Same Guy": a More Conservative White Male with Executive Experience who is allegedly Straight with a Pretty Family and Younger, but not Too Much Younger than McCain. Which includes most of the Republican Party these days.

And McCains pick won't matter. The Spirits are CORRECT!

Nevada Voter Registration Stuff

Hey, Zeke didn't know half of this CRAP.
READ UP and FORWARD this to yer Friends.

Why would I have to re-register?
You would re-register if you:
1. Have been "cancelled" for not voting in two consecutive Federal Elections and have failed to respond to any notification sent by the Registrar`s Office
2. Have changed your place of residence and/or mailing address since the last time you voted (a change of address card may also be used for this purpose)
3. Want to change your political party affiliation
4. Have changed your name since your previous registration (i.e. married or legal name change)

Where can I get a voter registration form?
1. Registrar of Voters Office, 1001 E Ninth St., RM A135, Reno NV 89512
2. DMV Offices
3. State Welfare Agencies
4. Most Post Offices
5. Libraries
6. Obama HQ
7. Washoe Dem HQ

How will I know if I am registered?
Within two weeks of the time your registration form is processed by the Registrar`s Office, you will receive a Voter Registration Card in the mail. While it is not required that you bring this card with you when you vote, it does expedite the voting process and can clear-up any misunderstandings regarding name spelling and/or the residence where you are registered to vote and can affirm your status as an active registered voter. You can also look up your voter registration status on this web site. The information found on the Washoe County Voter Registrar web site will be the most current information available.

Washoe Voters can Check Their Status HERE

Bloghousekeeping: Email Subscription available again

For you guys who like the ZSS email subscription feature, it and the other RSS Feed Options should be working again now. It was nothing a crowbar, WD40 and some Duct-tape couldn't fix.

And, NO, Terrorists did not attack the feed. It was a Hurricane.

How Nevada GOP Can Pick Their Delegates

Since the NV Republican Party tried three, count'em, three times to hold a State Convention and failed each time (Like Zeke Predicted before #2). And the RNC has shot down the "Let's Appoint some Delegates" Program that Sue Lowden tried to sneak through, the State Party REALLY need to figure out how to choose the 3 dozen or so people to represent in Minnesota this Fall.

Well, once again: ZEKE TO THE RESCUE!

10 Ways to Appoint Delegates to the GOP National Convention:

1. Lowest Golf Handicap*
2. Who ever has the Most Money*
3. Have a Greed-Off: Put all the candidates in a room with $500 bills and the one who leaves with the most $ is a Delegate (Knives Optional)
4. Let McCain Pick the Delegates. They'll HAVE to vote for him anyway
5. Monopoly Tournament with real money
6. Oldest Person*
7. Cage Match. With Folding Chairs(PPV $ to McCain Election Fund)
8. A Filibuster Tournament (The GOP will need to Practice for '09 Senate)
9. Corrupt-Off! Who ever can show they are the Most Evil, WINS!
10. Let Zeke pick them. It'd be fun and since it won't really matter, who cares. Also I can be bribed so this is kinda like #2

*Official National GOP Charter Methods

Emails to Zeke Vol III

I bet I get more emails then any other Blogger in the State. Seriously. From crackpots and elected officals. From Friends and Enemies. It's weird...you people know you can post comments on the Blog, right? I guess I'm nothing more than your Midnight Secret Hookup Blog, that you don't want your legitimate Blogs to find out about.

That's OK. We all have our roles in life.

Anyway, on to the emails:

JC says: "I am concerned that you don't think the School Board or Judicial Elections are important enough to cover..."

Sorry. Once again, I really don't care. Really.

DS says: "You are aware that Judge Polaha is up for re-election this fall..."

Yeah, but since he is the "Decider" regarding ALL Election related lawsuits, HE CAN'T LOSE. Even IF he loses. God Bless Washoe County.

ZM yelled in CAPS:"...Trent Baldwin is a good man and your continual portrayal of him as an "outsider" is neither true nor fair. SHAME ON YOU!"

Look Skippy, the Carpetbaggers that moved into the South after the Civil War included many Good and Honest people. And they were still Carpetbaggers, like Baldwin. But my beef with Baldwin is that he isn't really interested in helping the people in Sun Valley and AD30. He also was VERY lazy and insincere in his fulfilling the requirements of residency in the run up to the filing date. And THAT sucks! The people of the District DO NOT NEED a LAZY AND INSINCERE ASSEMBLYPERSON. Have you ever been to Sun Vally? That place needs HELP.

DSS: "What is your F%$@@#& Problem?"

Currently, it is a lack of Olives. Thanks for asking, Buddy.

Keep the emails coming. Have a happy Zeke day.

Media Sells Big Oil Floor Seats at the Conventions

Ya know since the Media has taken to signing Big Oil to Sponsor the Political coverage, including BOTH upcoming Conventions, Zeke got a thinkin'.

"As ThinkProgress noted yesterday, ExxonMobil is sponsoring CNN’s coverage of both the Democratic and Republican National Conventions. We also noted that CBS’s political coverage is sponsored by ExxonMobil. Now, it appears that National Journal has also opened its doors to Big Oil sponsorship, announcing on its website that its coverage of the 2008 conventions will be “presented by ExxonMobil” [STORY]

So what the hell? Zeke is "The Media" too, right? So maybe I should start selling ad's to THOSE guys. They have plenty of our money. Maybe I could slap their logo on my Monster Truck as part of the deal? "Principles" are just things we use in this Country to justify Not-for-Profit concepts, so ATTENTION BIG OIL Ad Guys: Zeke is for Sale! Let me spin your Lies and use up that pathetic amount of credibility I have!

• I could write storys about how Oil Spills are good for fish and birds, like Shell did with Marine Mammals recently.
• How about a hit piece on those troublesome Congressmen that want the Big Oil to drill the 68 Million Acres of leased land they have already, instead of new Offshore areas?
• Maybe I could just flat out MAKE UP SOME BAD SHIT about Solar Power? Like "The Industry is owned and run secretly by Islamic Terrorists? Oh thats good stuff! Come on, AdBoys!"

All Zeke is asking is, give me the same chance to distort reality for a buck, that you are giving the Cable and TV Networks! Let me be your whore. Me love you long time!

Non-Partisans Rule The Earth

Zeke talks to everybody, and especially them Non- Partisan voters.

In Nevada there are no Independents, we call'em Non-Partisan's (Hey Media: Let's start getting that right, Ok?) and no matter how much the Democrats finally wind up out numbering the Busted GOP in Registered Voters, it will be those Non-Partisans that make the call.

A lot is made of the "Blueing of Nevada, Washoe, Reno and Sparks but really it doesn't mean much. Just a bunch of chest thumping, really.

The fact is, Non-Partisan Voters who make up 11% in Washoe and 14% Statewide will make the ALL of the difference.

The $2 question is Who are They Gonna Vote for?

Here are some Crazy Projections and Observations about the Reno Population to spark that Water Cooler conversation on Monday:.

• "Famously Activist Reno Residents" = Good for Obama
• "Lots of Retired people" = Good for McCain
• "A mid sized University with Activist Students" = Good for Obama
• "Tons of Californian Transplants" = Good For Obama
• "Active Gay Community" = Good for Obama
• Relitively Small Union Presence" = Good for McCain
• "Lack of Military Base" = Good for Obama
• "Obama crushed in Caucus Here" = Good for Obama
• "McCain came in 4th place in Reno Caucus" = Good for Obama
• "Mormons Don't like McCain like Romney" = Good for Obama
• "Sizable Native American Population" = Good for Obama
• "Bad Local Economy" = Good for Obama
• "Horrible Local Foreclosure Rate" - Good for Obama
• "20% Latino Population" = Good for Obama
• "Large Pacific Island Population" = Good for Obama
  

Something to consider, the apparent McCain Strategy of Non Stop Attack Ads isn't gonna work on most of these groups.
Ya know after looking at this, I wonder how McCain thinks he might win in Reno. Seriously.
It is starting to look like a "Perfect Obamastorm™". Consider this : More people Caucused for Obama IN RENO, then Caucused for McCain IN NEVADA on January 19th.

McCain Wingnut Idiot Brigade Protests Obama in Reno

I didn't see any coverage of the 7 McCain Protesters at today's Obama Town Hall Meeting in Reno, but I'm sure there must have been somewhere.

The funny thing is; What the HELL can they Protest? I mean is Obama is running on Hope and Change. How do you Protest THAT?

I know they are trying to paint O as a "Raise yer Taxes Liberal", but I don't think that is really sticking very well. I mean anyone who actually LISTENS to Obama, they learn that he wants to cut taxes for 95% of Americans. He is pretty Clear about that plan.

So today about half of the McCain Gang had signs refuting the existence of Global Warming. Yes really. That is all they could come up with.

I think that is especially funny as even McCain agrees Global Warming is a Priority and needs to be addressed. (I don't believe him, but he still says it)

In other words the Wingnut Brigade is so full of seething hate, that they don't even know what their candidate stands. Oops.

Consider this: Would you stand in a 100 freaking degree parking lot for 3 hours to "Protest something that is basically an accepted Scientific Fact"?

No you wouldn't. And it is THOSE wingnuts who will, that are the defacto standard bearers of the McCain Program around here. Oops.

Vote For Zeke. Pretty Please

Why you need to Vote for ZEKE SAYS SO to be the BEST OF NORTHERN NEVADA'S BEST BLOGGER and WEBSITE:

1. I am.
2. You appreciate my non Passive Aggressive approach by Directly asking you to vote for me..
3. ZEKE'S 10 BEST POSTS(Click)
4. If Myrna wins 3x in a row she will have to retire from Blogging (It's in the Rules. Look it up)
5. If ya like the "Underdog", you don't get more Underdoggie than me.
6. It will REALLY piss off Dullard Mush.
7. Because ZEKE SAYS SO is a wonderfully juxtapositioned mixture of insightful satire and timely commentary, brimmed with "insider knowledge" written by some guy in a bar with a 7th grade edumacation and a Bad Attitude.
   
   So come on readers! Zeke has never won nothing in my whole freaking life. Let me have a puppy fer Christmas this year. Take the 5 minutes and Vote for Zeke.
   Just Click the button on the top left.

NV GOP:A Eulogy for the Evil Dead

Ladies and Gentlemen. Today we meet on this somber, yet hysterically funny moment, to reflect on a departed friend The Nevada Republican Party.

This Institution has been a fixture in the Silver State for many years, but even the egotistical and corrupt must eventually leave this Earth.

After the RNC's Ruling yesterday that there in fact were NO Delegates legally elected to the National GOP Convention, the State Party quietly passed beyond this land of the Living and into another place. [STORY] A place where Corruption and selfishness run like a great river through the Land. Kind of like Henderson.

A wise Poet, William Joel, Once said "Only the Good Die Young", which also explains why this Evil Pack of Greedy Bastards have been around for, like, EVER.

But Zeke digresses.

Now it is time to say a final goodbye to this Grand Old Party as it has certainly used up it's usefulness and can be returned into the Earth along side it's dear friends: The Know-Nothing Party, The American Nazi Party, The Bull Moose Party, The American Socialist Party and the Zeke for Mayor of Ely PAC.

The GOP Party leaves behind dozens of Idiotic and Incompetent Elected Officials and 450,00 confused Nevada members, who even now are wondering what is the meaning of being Greedy and Rich, if they can't use the money to buy an Election.

We are with you all, in this time of sadness and total hilarity.

God Speed GOP, you old, selfish, greedy, and corrupt institution: We never really knew ye.

Oh wait. Maybe we did. Well, bye bye anyway.

ObamaHeads: Fire One Up!

Much like Hillary Clinton and Ron Paul, Campaign Activists can be, uh, "interesting". Ok, some are flat out weirdos. But Obama's are a special breed and are certainly smarter and less wacky, they still have their own Culture and Language. Here are some terms you may never hear spoken in the light of Day. But an Obama staffer will testify to their existence. Well Maybe. Like AFTER the Election that is.

10. Barackoderm
A converted Republican who now stands for Obama.

9. Obamatron
A term that describes some O Supporters who want to talk about nothing but Obama. They also have no sense of Humor. Ahem.

8. Breaking Baracks in the Hot Sun
When a new person is brought in to help the Campaign, they sometimes get their mettle tested by being sent to walk a, Uh, NOT nice neighborhood. Like where Zeke lives. Scary scary. If they come back, the rookie gets promoted.

7. StreetBaracker
Term to describe some people who come from "Out of State" to help. Usually on the Greyhound. Some are doing it, Zeke thinks, just to get some free food and a place to sleep. They never bring a suitcase.

6. Obamabud
Comes from Hawaii. Maui, in fact. Very fresh, brah.

5. BarackStar™, Energy Drink
Instead of Coffee or even Latte's, Obama Activists drink a strange fluid made up of Kool Aide, crushed Berries and "Something else". I don't wanna know...

4. Wrong Side of the Railroad Baracks
Some times Party Activists who are "Not as enthusiastic as they should be", don't get called anymore. To return to "Barackstar" Status they may have to go "Break Baracks in the Hot Sun".

3. Obamazombies
After being hung up on and yelled at on hundreds of "ID calls", some Obama Supporters become desensitized and actually try and eat the brains of the living. Scary stuff. Beware.

2. Barackitis
Sometimes people who had once been an avid supporters suddenly "find a reason" that they can't help anymore. This rare disease, is similar to Hillarytosis and Paulobia.

1. Obamormon
Yep. Believe it or not, many conservative Evangelicals and Mormons have started working for Obama. These mainly young volunteers often "leave out" their religios leanings as they feel they are "weird" for opposing their hardcore parents leanings.

Bigfoot Autopsy: It's NOT Trent Baldwin

In a widely reported story, the Body of a Bigfoot Creature was discovered in Georgia earlier this month. The carcus is now supposedly being studied as to age and Phylum classification. [Story]

Although the Bigfoot Body was recovered with a large shaggy "Carpetbag", the examiners have said the creature is certainly not that of Nevada Assembly District 30 candidate Trent Baldwin. Baldwin has not been spotted since his Court Hearing where it was ruled he could run for office in a District that he probably couldn't find on a map, let alone actually reside in.

Search Parties of concerned Democrats led by Assemblyperson Debbie Smith have been out canvassing neighborhood and knocking on doors for weeks looking for a sign of Baldwin to no avail.

"It's like he is gone. Almost like he never really meant to be a serious resident of the Districk: Just like 'make believe' or something." said a Search Party Volunteer.

Stay tuned to ZEKE SAYS SO Fake News for more information on the whereabouts of Baldwin as they come in.

Will Zeke Actually Make Fun of Obama?

Ok, so we all know Big O is coming to Reno this Sunday, right?

And God knows I make fun of everything and everyone else around here.

It is My Way.

But, is it really OK to make fun of Barack Obama? Really? "Cause honestly I haven't seen a lot of stuff that really is more than a bowling joke here or there. Democrats are SUPPOSED to be funnier than Republicans, after all.

And, of course, Mr Funny Pants McCain THINKS he makes fun of O, but he is really bad at it. Zeke could do it right.

So I am gonna ask you, the readers, (all 5 of you): Should I do it? Are we Big Enough or are the Obama Activists so hardcore that I will have to go into hiding in Mexico?

So tell me. I wants to know people. Take the Poll.

Final Sign of Apocalypse-TexEx's New Blog

Oh sweet baby Jesus help us.

If you have been following the Blogs in NV, you know of Texex. He has been one of the most active commenter's on everybodys blogs for a long, long, long time.

Well he now has a Blog, TexEx-Xtreme and it certainly will fill the role of making ZEKE SAYS SO seem "moderate". Ya know, like Cheney makes W seem "less Evil". I said LESS Evil.

And since I encouraged him to start blogging, I guess I gotta help promote him. And since you, dear reader. are content to waste yer time on my HORRIBLE WRITTEN BLOG, TexEx might even be a step up. Or sideways. Or off a cliff.

I WARNED YOU.

Zeke Massing Troops on "My Silver State" Border

Citing "Security" Issues", the Republic of Zekeastan has issued a warning to Sven at "My Silver State" Blog that "...if MSS continues it's sponsorship of Terrorism and Proper Grammar, Severe Steps may be taken to defend our Citizen in Zekeastan."

Premier Zeke said yesterday, "The Running Dogs at "My Silver State" are just lackey puppets of MyDD.com and have acted for years to undercut the Humor and Lack of Wisdom of Zeke by saying "smart and reasonable things all the time". We the People of Zekeastan will not ignore this Affront to our National Values. If Sven wants war, it is War that he is gonna get. Bitch."

Emergency mediations undertaken by the Nevada Blogger Alliance and Envoy Myrna The Mynx at Reno and it's Discontents have thus been rebuked by Zeke and Sven. Regional Blog neighbor "Dullard Mush" released a memo late on Wednesday to the World Press; "Zeke is an Idiot. You and I both know it. He clearly has run out of things to write about. It's kind of pathetic actually."

More information will be released as this tense situation develops.

New Republican slogan

Homeless Families Collecting GOP Yard Signs For Shelter

And you thought all of those sexy GOP yard signs were just gonna be thrown away. Well thankfully we have a great new use for these signs: Homes for the Homeless!

The Reno Outreach Gospel Misssion is accepting the now unneeded Primary Signs and will be used in the new "Bushville" program. These "Bushville Towns" have been springing up all over the US lately as thousands of middle and lower class families that have lost their homes and jobs during the past 7 years of Republican Administration.

If you wish to turn in your GOP Yard Sign so it can be used to "House the lower classes", please take it to the Washoe County Republican HQ at 3652 S. Virginia St, Suite C8Reno, NV 89509.

Please make sure you scrape all of the caviar and cocaine off of your signs, as they will be many small children living in the thin cardboard shacks this Fall as our Country continues to "imagine" it is suffering.

God Bless you for turning your trash into something "Fan-trash-tic" for your homeless ex-nextdoor-neighbors!

Ron Paul Mob Wins Nothing in Northern Nevada. Again.

Wait a second.

Are you telling me Sharron Angle, John Marvel AND James Smack ALL lost to "Normal" Republicans tonight?

The Ron Paul Mob won Nothing?

Wow. Maybe the "Revolution" WAS Televised. But got cancelled and replaced mid-season by "American Glad-He-Haters"?

So what are the Ron Paul people gonna do now?

Hey, maybe they ought to all join the Obama crew? That way maybe they can see what it feels like to be on a Winning Team for once.

I'm Sorry. That was mean. I am a Bad Man.

Zeke Calls the Election

In the same "Responsible Journalism Practice" of Fox News, Zeke is prepared to call some of Today's Primary races a full 9 hours BEFORE the polls close. Pretty Good, Huh? Ya heard it here first!

And why not? Nobody reads this page. (Actually that ain't so true anymore. I had more hits yesterday than a Harold and Kumar Movie. Thanks Crazy Angle Fans!)

All right. Ready for this?

Based on Highly Advanced Exit Polling of the past 39 Minutes ZEKE SAYS SO CAN NOW CALL THE FOLLOWING RACES:

Congression District 2 (GOP)
Dean Heller 89%
James Smack 11%

Nevada Senate Seat 3:
Bill Raggio 59%
Sharron Angle 41%

AD24 (Dem)
David Bobzien 91%
David Love 9%

AD32 (GOP)
John Marvel 34%
Mike Weber 27%
Glenn Dawson 19%
Don Gustavson 15%
Eric Smith 3%
Mike Nance 2%

What about the other Races? Why don't I call them?
Well...
1. Who cares.
2. Zeke doesn't even like the words "School Board".
3. My Parole Officer says "I shouldn't make enemies with Judges. They have no sense of Humor." Hey he said it, not me. (I hear Judge Polaha is quite the cut up when he voids Election laws)

Poem: Sharron Angle, Desert Hardware

There Of'tn is Candidate Named Sharron,

Who's Issue Planks seem very Barren,

And She Perfectly Shows,

What's Wrong With Washoe:

Wingnuts and Climate Subsaharan.

-Zeke

Dean Heller's Email Password

If ya didn't see the Yahoo! "News" story today about NOT using easy to figure out passwords, [READ], many of our "Leaders", haven't learned this to do this:

Dean Heller's Password: killzekenow2
Sharron Angle's Password: ronpaulisGod21
John Ensign's Password: $myhairispowerful$
Bob Beer's Password: gunsrfun
Jim Gibbon's Password: chicksdigme69
Judge Polaha Password: destroydonkey
Trent Baldwin's Password: sunvalleyiswhere?
Dan Burke's Password: secretGOPhaha
Sue Lowden's Password: scared2death08
Ty Cobb's Password: ih8teu
John McCain's Password: (not applicable)
Ron Paul's Password: fightclubisreal
Bill Clinton's Password: hill&billtil09
Mitt Romney Password: ifiredu2
Mike Huckebee's Password: satanmitt
Rudy Giuliani's Password: #iluv911#
George W Bush's Password: 1234567
George H W Bush's Password: whynotJeb43
Dick Cheney's Password: iruleusa1
Karl Rove's Password: iowndick1

Hot Water Heller

Ha Ha! This is funny! And I thought I was the only one that ever got in trouble with the Boss Man.

My little "friend" of the Dean "Where's my Flashlight" Heller campaign dropped me a little email last night.

According to "Vince", Congressman Dean Heller has been TOLD by his GOP Overlords that since he can't keep his big mouth shut (Clean the GOP House comments) and also his inability to outfundraise Jill "Boot in Yer Ass" Derby last quarter, Heller was ORDERED to go sit in the Dark Capitol with some other GOP tools as punishment. While all of the other non-big mouthed GOP Incumbents get to vacation and rest up for the election season.

I guess if Deaniac© didn't go , the RCCC or whoever was gonna NOT FUND, or "well fund". his reelection bid. Which is pretty funny if it is true.
I mean Heller has been a HUGE Butt Kissing Bushie since day one. If he is really on the outs with the poorly funded RNC, I wonder if they are just planning on writting him off all together.

Hey maybe James "Talking" Smack will beat Heller in the Primary? Now THAT would be REALLY funny!

Poem: Our Funky Fresh Guv

There once was a Gov' named Jim,
Who wanted to hang with Lil' Kim,
So he learned how to Rap,
and turned askew his Fly Cap,
But his CD reviews came in mostly grim.
-Zeke

No Comment Nevada Blogs

Zeke LOVES it when you talk back to me. Even when they call me an "Idiot" or "Tard" or "Self Indulgent Narcissist with a Christ Complex and a Bad Attitude". Thanks Mom!

But Zeke is a little puzzled by a couple Nevada Blogs that have taken to the practice of "Moderation" of their own Reader's comments. When I started Blogging a couple months ago, I wondered if I should allow comments at all, but now I realize it is the only way to go. It actually makes the experience better: look at the Gleaners comments sometimes for a real examination of the human discourse.

And ya know, if your little blog post is capable of being torn apart by a reasonable comment, maybe ya shouldn't post that remark.

Just to stir the Pot, here are some Nevada Blogs that are afraid of their readers commenting on them. Please visit them and say "Hi". And if ya like tell'em Zeke sent you.

• Sue Lowden Blog
• Blue Lyon
• Blah Blah Blog
• Las Vegas Sun Blogs
• Section 11

Straight Talk Adultery

Yeah John "Glass House" McCain is who I am talking about. Bet you didn't know this:
"John Edwards has admitted having an affair with Rielle Hunter in 2006 but vehemently denies being the father of Hunter's child and is willing to take the necessary tests to prove it. Edwards' chances of being Obama's Veep kind of dropped a bit with this announcement. No doubt it will get a lot of play in the traditional media. It will be interesting to see if any enterprising reporter asks John McCain point blank: "Have you ever committed adultery?" It is a germane question because (1) Edwards adultery is big news and (2) McCain has made "moral character" the main issue of his campaign.
McCain may not be too keen to answer yes or no because the truth won't please the family values crowd. While he was a P.O.W. in Vietnam, his first wife, model Carol Shepp, was seriously injured in a horrific traffic accident in which she was thrown through the windshield. She didn't mention this in her letters to him in Vietnam to keep his morale up. When he got back and saw her 4 inches shorter, seriously overweight, and on crutches, he began having affairs. One piece of indisputable evidence is the fact that he obtained a license to marry wealthy beer heiress Cindy Hensley on March 6, 1980, while still legally married to Carol. Here is the L.A. Times story but if you type: McCain adultery to Google, you'll get 500,000 hits. Journalistic standards ought to require that if Edwards cheating on his sick wife is an indication of a deep moral flaw, then McCain cheating on his sick wife ought to be the same thing. And McCain is a candidate for President; Edwards is not."
Source:EV.com

Say That Again Johnny Jedi Mind Trick

Ya know that bit about "Repeating a Lie enough, and it become True? Well McCain sure does. The onslaught of Lie Filled Emails lately is overwhelming.
For a change let's see if repeating the TRUTH works that way too.

McCain is very old. Obama will lower taxes. McCain Lies. Iran is not our Enemy. McCain is too Old. Republicans are bad at economic matters. McCain is George Bush three. Nuclear Energy is dangerous. Republicans are corrupt. McCain Lies. McCain is Lying about Obama.Obama is anti-Big Oil. McCain loves Big Oil. McCain voted for the Iraq War. McCain is a Keating 5. McCain is bad for Nevada. McCain base is only Billionaires. McCain wants War. Zeke Says So.McCain is very old. Obama will lower taxes. McCain Lies. Iran is not our Enemy. McCain is too Old. Republicans are bad at economic matters. McCain is George Bush three. Nuclear Energy is dangerous. Republicans are corrupt. McCain Lies. McCain is Lying about Obama.Obama is anti-Big Oil. McCain loves Big Oil. McCain voted for the Iraq War. McCain is a Keating 5. McCain is bad for Nevada. McCain base is only Billionaires. McCain wants War. Zeke Says So.McCain is very old. Obama will lower taxes. McCain Lies. Iran is not our Enemy. McCain is too Old. Republicans are bad at economic matters. McCain is George Bush three. Nuclear Energy is dangerous. Republicans are corrupt. McCain Lies. McCain is Lying about Obama.Obama is anti-Big Oil. McCain loves Big Oil. McCain voted for the Iraq War. McCain is a Keating 5. McCain is bad for Nevada. McCain base is only Billionaires. McCain wants War. Zeke Says So.McCain is very old. Obama will lower taxes. McCain Lies. Iran is not our Enemy. McCain is too Old. Republicans are bad at economic matters. McCain is George Bush three. Nuclear Energy is dangerous. Republicans are corrupt. McCain Lies. McCain is Lying about Obama.Obama is anti-Big Oil. McCain loves Big Oil. McCain voted for the Iraq War. McCain is a Keating 5. McCain is bad for Nevada. McCain base is only Billionaires. McCain wants War. Zeke Says So.McCain is very old. Obama will lower taxes. McCain Lies. Iran is not our Enemy. McCain is too Old. Republicans are bad at economic matters. McCain is George Bush three. Nuclear Energy is dangerous. Republicans are corrupt. McCain Lies. McCain is Lying about Obama.Obama is anti-Big Oil. McCain loves Big Oil. McCain voted for the Iraq War. McCain is a Keating 5. McCain is bad for Nevada. McCain base is only Billionaires. McCain wants War. Zeke Says So.McCain is very old. Obama will lower taxes. McCain Lies. Iran is not our Enemy. McCain is too Old. Republicans are bad at economic matters. McCain is George Bush three. Nuclear Energy is dangerous. Republicans are corrupt. McCain Lies. McCain is Lying about Obama.Obama is anti-Big Oil. McCain loves Big Oil. McCain voted for the Iraq War. McCain is a Keating 5. McCain is bad for Nevada. McCain base is only Billionaires. McCain wants War. Zeke Says So.McCain is very old. Obama will lower taxes. McCain Lies. Iran is not our Enemy. McCain is too Old. Republicans are bad at economic matters. McCain is George Bush three. Nuclear Energy is dangerous. Republicans are corrupt. McCain Lies. McCain is Lying about Obama.Obama is anti-Big Oil. McCain loves Big Oil. McCain voted for the Iraq War. McCain is a Keating 5. McCain is bad for Nevada. McCain base is only Billionaires. McCain wants War. Zeke Says So.McCain is very old. Obama will lower taxes. McCain Lies. Iran is not our Enemy. McCain is too Old. Republicans are bad at economic matters. McCain is George Bush three. Nuclear Energy is dangerous. Republicans are corrupt. McCain Lies. McCain is Lying about Obama.Obama is anti-Big Oil. McCain loves Big Oil. McCain voted for the Iraq War. McCain is a Keating 5. McCain is bad for Nevada. McCain base is only Billionaires. McCain wants War. Zeke Says So.McCain is very old. Obama will lower taxes. McCain Lies. Iran is not our Enemy. McCain is too Old. Republicans are bad at economic matters. McCain is George Bush three. Nuclear Energy is dangerous. Republicans are corrupt. McCain Lies. McCain is Lying about Obama.Obama is anti-Big Oil. McCain loves Big Oil. McCain voted for the Iraq War. McCain is a Keating 5. McCain is bad for Nevada. McCain base is only Billionaires. McCain wants War. Zeke Says So.McCain is very old. Obama will lower taxes. McCain Lies. Iran is not our Enemy. McCain is too Old. Republicans are bad at economic matters. McCain is George Bush three. Nuclear Energy is dangerous. Republicans are corrupt. McCain Lies. McCain is Lying about Obama.Obama is anti-Big Oil. McCain loves Big Oil. McCain voted for the Iraq War. McCain is a Keating 5. McCain is bad for Nevada. McCain base is only Billionaires. McCain wants War. Zeke Says So.McCain is very old. Obama will lower taxes. McCain Lies. Iran is not our Enemy. McCain is too Old. Republicans are bad at economic matters. McCain is George Bush three. Nuclear Energy is dangerous. Republicans are corrupt. McCain Lies. McCain is Lying about Obama.Obama is anti-Big Oil. McCain loves Big Oil. McCain voted for the Iraq War. McCain is a Keating 5. McCain is bad for Nevada. McCain base is only Billionaires. McCain wants War. Zeke Says So.McCain is very old. Obama will lower taxes. McCain Lies. Iran is not our Enemy. McCain is too Old. Republicans are bad at economic matters. McCain is George Bush three. Nuclear Energy is dangerous. Republicans are corrupt. McCain Lies. McCain is Lying about Obama.Obama is anti-Big Oil. McCain loves Big Oil. McCain voted for the Iraq War. McCain is a Keating 5. McCain is bad for Nevada. McCain base is only Billionaires. McCain wants War. Zeke Says So.McCain is very old. Obama will lower taxes. McCain Lies. Iran is not our Enemy. McCain is too Old. Republicans are bad at economic matters. McCain is George Bush three. Nuclear Energy is dangerous. Republicans are corrupt. McCain Lies. McCain is Lying about Obama.Obama is anti-Big Oil. McCain loves Big Oil. McCain voted for the Iraq War. McCain is a Keating 5. McCain is bad for Nevada. McCain base is only Billionaires. McCain wants War. Zeke Says So.McCain is very old. Obama will lower taxes. McCain Lies. Iran is not our Enemy. McCain is too Old. Republicans are bad at economic matters. McCain is George Bush three. Nuclear Energy is dangerous. Republicans are corrupt. McCain Lies. McCain is Lying about Obama.Obama is anti-Big Oil. McCain loves Big Oil. McCain voted for the Iraq War. McCain is a Keating 5. McCain is bad for Nevada. McCain base is only Billionaires. McCain wants War. Zeke Says So.McCain is very old. Obama will lower taxes. McCain Lies. Iran is not our Enemy. McCain is too Old. Republicans are bad at economic matters. McCain is George Bush three. Nuclear Energy is dangerous. Republicans are corrupt. McCain Lies. McCain is Lying about Obama.Obama is anti-Big Oil. McCain loves Big Oil. McCain voted for the Iraq War. McCain is a Keating 5. McCain is bad for Nevada. McCain base is only Billionaires. McCain wants War. Zeke Says So.McCain is very old. Obama will lower taxes. McCain Lies. Iran is not our Enemy. McCain is too Old. Republicans are bad at economic matters. McCain is George Bush three. Nuclear Energy is dangerous. Republicans are corrupt. McCain Lies. McCain is Lying about Obama.Obama is anti-Big Oil. McCain loves Big Oil. McCain voted for the Iraq War. McCain is a Keating 5. McCain is bad for Nevada. McCain base is only Billionaires. McCain wants War. Zeke Says So.McCain is very old. Obama will lower taxes. McCain Lies. Iran is not our Enemy. McCain is too Old. Republicans are bad at economic matters. McCain is George Bush three. Nuclear Energy is dangerous. Republicans are corrupt. McCain Lies. McCain is Lying about Obama.Obama is anti-Big Oil. McCain loves Big Oil. McCain voted for the Iraq War. McCain is a Keating 5. McCain is bad for Nevada. McCain base is only Billionaires. McCain wants War. Zeke Says So.McCain is very old. Obama will lower taxes. McCain Lies. Iran is not our Enemy. McCain is too Old. Republicans are bad at economic matters. McCain is George Bush three. Nuclear Energy is dangerous. Republicans are corrupt. McCain Lies. McCain is Lying about Obama.Obama is anti-Big Oil. McCain loves Big Oil. McCain voted for the Iraq War. McCain is a Keating 5. McCain is bad for Nevada. McCain base is only Billionaires. McCain wants War. Zeke Says So.McCain is very old. Obama will lower taxes. McCain Lies. Iran is not our Enemy. McCain is too Old. Republicans are bad at economic matters. McCain is George Bush three. Nuclear Energy is dangerous. Republicans are corrupt. McCain Lies. McCain is Lying about Obama.Obama is anti-Big Oil. McCain loves Big Oil. McCain voted for the Iraq War. McCain is a Keating 5. McCain is bad for Nevada. McCain base is only Billionaires. McCain wants War. Zeke Says So.McCain is very old. Obama will lower taxes. McCain Lies. Iran is not our Enemy. McCain is too Old. Republicans are bad at economic matters. McCain is George Bush three. Nuclear Energy is dangerous. Republicans are corrupt. McCain Lies. McCain is Lying about Obama.Obama is anti-Big Oil. McCain loves Big Oil. McCain voted for the Iraq War. McCain is a Keating 5. McCain is bad for Nevada. McCain base is only Billionaires. McCain wants War. Zeke Says So.McCain is very old. Obama will lower taxes. McCain Lies. Iran is not our Enemy. McCain is too Old. Republicans are bad at economic matters. McCain is George Bush three. Nuclear Energy is dangerous. Republicans are corrupt. McCain Lies. McCain is Lying about Obama.Obama is anti-Big Oil. McCain loves Big Oil. McCain voted for the Iraq War. McCain is a Keating 5. McCain is bad for Nevada. McCain base is only Billionaires. McCain wants War. Zeke Says So.

McCain Wants to Pay Zeke to Lie

Well McCain ain't tried it yet on me. And he can save his breath. I don't want his "points" or money. He can't afford me.

Apparently the McCain Gang is attempting to "Buy Off" Bloggers and Blog Commenters by GIVING THEM FREE CRAP to say "Nice Lies" about the old Coot on the Internet. Why? 'Cause McCain doesn't have ANYBODY that is willing to do it for free. Pathetic.

The Funniest part? McCain WILL ACTUALLY TELL YOU WHAT TO SAY!

READ MORE

Well don't worry. Zeke is a Stand Up Guy and ain't gonna be bought off by those punks.

Unless, of course, the payoff includes...

• Case of Obama Tire Gauges
• $4,135 (Don't Ask)
• Free Gas for Life

Yeah, then I'll do it.

By the way, if anyone was wondering what happened to famous Blog Commenter "TexEx", I think we all now can guess. I bet he is a McCain Jedi Level 4 by now.

Sharon Angle Chickens Out

All right, so last night's "Nevada Newsmakers" was SUPPOSED to feature a debate between Bill "The Mummy" Raggio and Sharon "I Hates Da Children" Angle who are running for the Distict 3 Nevada Senate Seat.

And Zeke was prepared! I had extra peanuts, plenty of Ice and Grapefruits and even had Barkeep Karl leave the Scotch Bottle on the bar for me. This was a special occasion, after all! Two great minds debating policy and deciding our Common fates!

Imagine my surprise when Sam "The Sham" Shad announced Angle had "chickened out" and no showed up for the program.

What? After all the crap she has been spouting off about on the radio lately? She JUST DOESN'T SHOW UP?

You gotta be kidding.

I got a thinking where might have Angle been? Instead of EXACTLY where she SHOULD have been: Presenting and contrasting her ideas against her opponent for the Voter to see.

So WHERE was Angle last night? Maybe it was doing one of these things:

• Down at the Elementary School BOOing a 3rd Grade Play.
• Prank calling the IRS.
• Making tin foil hats for Ron Paul Friends.
• Campaigning for Mike Weber. Ba-Ha!
• Hiding in her closet in terror of the Lion of the Senate.
• Creating emails with new "Facts" to attack Raggio.
• On 4th St, looking for Zeke. (It's happened before)
• Knitting Doilies. With Black Helicopters on them.

Anyway, what ever she was doing, her missing "Nevada Newsmakers" made me have to switch channels to "America's Got Talent". It don't, by the way.

Needless to say I am in a FOUL mood today.

Thanks again Sharon, for wrecking another Zeke Weekend.

Rove Playbook: STEAL THE VOTE

Dean Heller Still Hates The Sun

Oh yeah he has Flip Flopped. Dean "Sun Burn" Heller has CLEARLY been reading the papers and apparently smart enough to see that he is WAY OFF on Energy. Two months ago Heller voted AGAINST the Bill that would have taken BIG OIL Tax Welfare and put it into funding the Alterate Enegry Industry.

In other Words, two months ago Deaniac™ not only DUCKED OUT on working towards an aggressive PROBLEM SOLVING Energy plan, but he VOTED AGAINST A L L of the things he claimed to support in a recent email.

Oh Yeah, he is also back in the darkened Capitol pretending he is a Democrat and wanting to actually get off Foreign Oil.

If Dean had voted for the Energy Bill 57 Days ago I might believe him.
He Didn't I Don't.

Heller is full of Crap and is gonna lose his seat in Congress because people are sick of his 2 faced routine, where he pretends to want to SOLVE our Energy Problem WHILE TAKING checks from Big Oil PACs. He says we should Conserve gas when possible, but LAMPOONS Obama's suggestion that people check their car tire air pressure, and hands out the misguided and unfunny McCain Prop "Obama Gauges" at Party events.

What a Freaking Hypocrite.

The Last Proud Reno Republican

Yep, there is apparently at least ONE dude claiming to be a Proud Republican in Reno. I saw him Yesterday.

He was driving a Big 20 year old jacked up Ford F150 with the 33" Wheels. He has a "Keep Nevada Red" Bumpersticker on the back. Dirt Bike in the bed. Windows rolled down and blasting some neo-con Country song.

Oh yeah: Trucker hat and no shirt. Barbed Wire Tat on his arm.

When the light changed, he floored it and roared the 150' to the next red light.

Thankfully, I didn't see a Confederate Flag or Naked Chick Mudflaps.

It was the most cliched thing I've seen in a while, and was the FIRST person I've seen that actually proclaims his "Proud Republican" Status IN PUBLIC, since all the Hummer and BMW assholes peeled off their "W" stickers in 2004.

It seems to Zeke that EVERY Republican I know has jumped to "Non-Partisan" or Supporting Obama. It was almost NICE to see some Blissfully unaware as to how screwed up the GOP has made our State and Country in the past 6 or 7 years.

I did say ALMOST Nice.

McCain: Bad Jokes Are To Distract Us From His Age

It's gotta be a plan. NOBODY is THAT unfunny. Not even W.

Zeke For Ely Mayor DENIED

Last week I got a letter from some guy claiming to be the Registrar of Voters of Ely, White Pine County, Nevada:

July 28, 2008

Dear Mr Zeke Reno, III

After receiving your filing paperwork to be added to the Ballot this November for the Office of Mayor of Ely, we were rather confused.

Not only do you not meet the qualifications of having resided within the City of Ely, but your application is a full 54 days past the filing deadline.

Also, having a bartender notarize the form is unacceptable in all Counties in Nevada. The peanut shells were also very unprofessional.

I understand from the bar napkin note included in the envelope that you believe Washoe County Judge Polaha "Feels it is OK for you to be added to the ballot", but this office disagrees. We are unaware of who Trent Baldwin is, and we do not care if your County Judge "changed the Election Laws from the Bench to help a fellow Republican Carpetbag their way into the AD30 race", as you claim.

We in White Pine County believe in the Rule of Law and therefor reject your application for Office of Mayor of Ely, Nevada.

Have a nice day.

Sincererly,
Randolph Burgermeister
Faux Registrar of Ely, Nevada


Well hell. Looks like THAT place actually follows laws. No way I'd wanna be Mayor of Ely! What fun would it be if I had to follow the Rules.