FauxNews ™ September 19 2008
Rachel Nevada - In a recent MIB Poll of Nevada's non-existent Groom Lake Facility AKA Area 51, voters were in a dead heat between Senator McCain and Obama. As Nevada's Statewide polls have been close, some pundits believe that this imaginary Area will decide the States 5 Electoral votes on November 4th.
Although Facility Management has been typically quiet, both of Unions have endorsed Obama. Shop Steward for Re-Engineering Local #435 Gus Reynolds said, "We like Obama because his Health care plan will certainly help out our Union Members that have been stricken with the the Space Plague. Obama also is taller which may prevent another Gray Attack-They fear tall Humans after all."
Julie Taylor, who "may" be a Flight Attendant on Janet Air, the private Charter that daily fly into the Base from Las Vegas said "I really wanted Hillary; she was my girl. I really don't like McCain as he has tried for years to shut down the Base because I heard they wouldn't let him take a "Lucky" Mars Rock from "The Collection". What a dufus. Doesn't he know those things are Radioactive from the War?"
When this reporter attempted to enter the non-existent Base, I was arrested, Water Boarded and dumped on a distant dirt road. I can report that my two torturers thought Sarah Palin was a great candidate and loved her "spunkiness".
FauxNews ™ will continue to report on this breaking story unless those two guys in the Black SUV that is behind me, tell me to stop.