FauxNews ™ September 19 2008
Rachel Nevada - In a recent MIB Poll of Nevada's non-existent Groom Lake Facility AKA Area 51, voters were in a dead heat between Senator McCain 
and Obama. As Nevada's Statewide polls have been close, some pundits believe that this imaginary Area will decide the States 5 Electoral votes on November 4th.
Although Facility Management has been typically quiet, both of Unions have endorsed Obama. Shop Steward for Re-Engineering Local #435 Gus Reynolds said, "We like Obama because his Health care plan will certainly help out our Union Members that have been stricken with the the Space Plague. Obama also is taller which may prevent another Gray Attack-They fear tall Humans after all."
Julie Taylor, who "may" be a Flight Attendant on Janet Air, the private Charter t
hat daily fly into the Base from Las Vegas said "I really wanted Hillary; she was my girl. I really don't like McCain as he has tried for years to shut down the Base because I heard they wouldn't let him take a "Lucky" Mars Rock from "The Collection". What a dufus. Doesn't he know those things are Radioactive from the War?"
When this reporter attempted to enter the non-existent Base, I was arrested, Water Boarded and dumped on a distant dirt road. I can report that my two torturers thought Sarah Palin was a great candidate and loved her "spunkiness".
FauxNews ™ will continue to report on this breaking story unless those two guys in the Black SUV that is behind me, tell me to stop.
Posts
In reading your news report, and pondering Obama's 10 year Venture Capital Investment Fund (to rapidly inject new technologies into the commercial, public stream), brought up for me again an important element in my decision making related to buying the new IPhone! Forget about THAT!
ReplyDeleteBecause of Obama's plans (when in office), I'm pretty sure we ALL soon will be able to purchase that groovy Gray/Zeta Reticulin interstellar communications device. Which also: project holographic movies, recreates past events (again, holographic images), provides tactile based interactions over vast distances, and more. People should also know that not only is Dean Heller a confirmed alien escapee from Area 51 (per a Republican Congressman and Anjeanette Damon), but there's something fishy also about McCain AND Palin.
In any event, if those two get in, we'll probably regress back to having to use smoke signals....or perhaps will have cans and strings available to make our own phones.